


~ Heart Frosting ~ (Sans x Reader)

by ScrewYourHappyEnding



Series: Winter Souls [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Sometimes, Denial, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Family, Gigantic monsters, Join me in the sin bin, Maybe - Freeform, Pacifist Undertale ending, Parent Toriel (Undertale), Phobias, PoliticalTroubles, Post-Pacifist Route, Reader can draw, Reader can sing, Reader is a flippin smartass, Realistic dreams, Respected monsters, SOUL Mechanics (Undertale), Souls, Spoilers - Undertale Pacifist Route, Tall Sans, Troubles, Undertale Alternate Universe, Undertale MAGIC, Undertale References, Undertale Spoilers, Undertale post pacifist, Young Frisk, a few politics, dark themes, evil humans, flashback dreams, friends - Freeform, fuckin FLUFF, homeless, human magic, hurt/comfort I guess, ill add more tags later, loooooooong story, relatively slow burn, struggles, troubeling past, undertale - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-07-18 19:36:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 95,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7327564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrewYourHappyEnding/pseuds/ScrewYourHappyEnding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have nothing, and you are a nothing. Nobody likes being around you and all you ever get are chases and constant attacks from your own kind. The humans. You believe that Humanity is a horrible race and you have every right to do so. But sometimes, just sometimes, the very strange feeling of deja vu or the feeling of having felt something similair once before begins to haunt you when your life is turned right around. Because apparently, even the frozen and patient hearts can be saved.</p><p>Act 1 - Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 6: Can the past destroy the present?<br/>Act 2 - Chapter 7 ~ Chapter ??: Together through the dark<br/>Act 3 - Chapter ?? ~ Chapter ??: The last sacrifice</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shabby remains

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblrrr: http://queendubstep.tumblr.com/  
> Message me if you want to, Ill most definitly answer!
> 
> Theme song of Chapter 1: The Wreckers - The Way Back Home ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg7aYSQhliI )
> 
> I hope you enjoy what I write!

 

 **  
**

 

**ACT 1:**

**Can the past destroy the present?**

 

 

You sleepily turned around, feeling the cold, hard ground underneath you. You shivered, now wide awake, as you tried to pull the thin blanket further over you. It didnt work too well to make you feel warmer, and after a minute of blinking, yawning and stretching, you opened your eyes, taking in your surroundings, feeling your throat being completely parched.

You were in a dark, clutched street, the few things you still posessed between your sleeping place and the cold, rough stone wall of one of the buildings lining the street. There were no windows on this side of the building, and neither were there on any of the other buildings. You sat up and shivered again as a cold, but surprisingly gentle breeze went by. The wind wasnt as strong as usual, which was a good sign. Maybe spring had finally decided to show up. Not that you minded the cold too much, though.

Looking up, you realized that it must be pretty early in the morning, since you could see soft sunlight slowly seeping into the sky. Good. You moved to lean against the wall to be able to look up more comfortably, gazing at the stars as they slowly started to fade away, giving way to a new day you had to survive. You wished that you could see the horizon from your positon, but that was impossible in a city like this.

Sighing one last time, you started packing the very thin and old sheets and blanket into a shredded bag with holes already opening up at its zippers and pockets. But it would keep your things hidden from the midday police patrol and other homeless people who would probably try to steal your things. You had also thrown in your two other sets of clothes, all mainly dark colored and too big for you, and a can of maize that you kept for emergencys after you had taken a sip of water from a bottle that you had found a few days ago. You were already running out of water again.

Tucking the bag deep behind a big trash can, you stood up and looked around, trying to warm yourself up by starting to pace along the street and rubbing your palms, ignoring the cold from your bare feet and careful not to accidentaly walk too far. After a while, you reached out to some clothes that you safely kept in a different hideout, a small hole in one of the buildings. It didnt have room for much, but it fit for the clothing perfectly well. An old, dark gray hoodie, some far too big jeans with only one hole at the side of the right leg and an old, too small pair of trainers.

Climbing into one of the trash containers that you knew was mostly empty and only filled with shreds of fabric, if anything at all, you started changing. After you were done, you stuffed your old clothes into the bag as well.

Yes, you were homeless. And that for some time now. You couldnt say it was a long time, but neither was it a short one.

 _26 months_ , a voice chanted in your head, but you just ignored it. Not long, not short. Thats what you were setteling for. _At least it sounds better than 2 years and 2 months... Or did it?_

Starting to walk out into the open street with caution, you carefully looked around in case anybody saw you coming out of the alley or hiding away your things, but there was no sign of danger. You took a deep breath and casually started to walk along the street, pulling the hoodie over your head and trying to look normal. You were wearing your only set of clothes that wasnt completely torn and too miserably old yet: You only put it on when you had to go and patrol at the new dump in the area, right next to the new monster cafes.

Once every few days, you would go out and check this new dump since a few new cafes and restaurants had setteled ever since monsters came to the surface. It had been only 10 months since they did, but boy, monsters sure were hardworking and determined people. You personally had nothing against monsters at all.

Sure, they looked different and had magic and stuff, but that just made them cool as hell in your opinion. Besides, it gave you a whole new _dump_   of chances to find a decent meal. Your stomach seemed to twich inside of you and you focused on food again. As you tried to dissapear into the dark and cold street leading to your destination that was located on a paralel street, you thought about monsters once more.

You havnt seen a single monster harass you or even attack, it was always the humans. They were the only ones that treated you like the pathetic piece of _trash_ you were, and they seemed to unfairly treat monsters the same way.

You balled your fists and lowered your head at the thought. What had monsters ever done to humans? They were nothing but kind and understantding. God, you hated humanity for being the awful race it is, wishing that you didnt have to be a part of it. At least you werent supporting their _crumy_   system of economic bullshit.

Your stomach started to growl at even the thought of crums, and when you reached the place you were walking to, you waited for another moment to make sure nobody was around, and then started to dig through the remains of the dinners of yesterday night.

You didnt find much, but it was enough to keep yourself from starving. A few scraps of food here and there, but unfortunatly no water. Starting to devour the few edible things you had found, not minding about your hydration problem at the moment, you almost immidiently felt better, suddenly realizing that the food on your tongue felt completely... different.

Was this... monster food?

You took another bite from the half of the pancake you were holding right now, this time paying closer attention to how it... felt. It was a far more pleasant feeling than the usual cold and tough lumps of food that you stuffed into your throat. It felt like a mixture of cotton candy, perfectly light and feathery cake and somehow also tender and fresh meat, while still keeping a unique taste similair to the one of an actual pancake.

Pulling away from the piece of food and inspecting it closer, you had to confirm a rumor you heard a few days ago: Monster food, apparently, really didnt spoil. Sure, it grew cold, but it didnt truly spoil, its taste didnt fade to make it feel old. It was so amazing that you put your meal aside, eating all scraps of human food that you could find and then taking now only the quarter of the pancake back to where you kept your things. You took a mental note to get rid of the maize in the can and replace it with the heavenly cake to store up for emergencys instead of the not so a- _maize_ -ing corn.

When you've finally returned, following your mental note and storing away your new emergency snack, you sat down not too far from your only remaining posessions and leaned against the wall, listening to the footsteps and mumbeling conversations of the people that had just begun filling the streets just out of sight.

Humans and Monsters were starting to get up and head to whatever work they had for today, and you couldnt help but envy them a little. But you quickly tried to get rid of the thought by shaking your head and blinking. No, you deserved what you had right now. You didnt get anything better from life because it was your fate to pay for every single ounce of pain you ever caused. Everything had been your fault anyway, everything...

You quickly let your right hand cover your mouth and the other wiping away the tears that had formed in your eyes to stop yourself from crying in the open like this.

Suddenly, your attention went away from your self-pity in a flash as you heard multiple steps and deep voices of men coming towards your location. You quickly squeezed yourself into the space between a trash container and the cold wall, peeking outside as much as you could.

You held your breath in fear as you could now make out some of the conversations of the police men passing by.

'...thats really pityful, huh?' One of the voices spoke, you knew he must be a police officer, and you hoped that one specific man wasnt on patrol right now. 'Yeah, pathetic how some people are so hateful against monsters even if these people are just incapable of handeling changes and new things' You could feel yourself relax a bit, these guys werent too bad. They would still get you in trouble if you were caught, though, especially the one you hoped wasnt there. Speaking of the devil, his voice sounded from their location. 'Agreed. Why cant they just-'

He stopped, and judging by the lack of steps, you realize that they all stopped dangerously close to you. 'I think I heard something' He whispered. Fuck.

You didnt dare breathe, praying to all gods that you know to just let them pass by instead of checking your hiding place, but of course you could make out quiet steps coming closer and closer. You stared at the empty space before you, looking at the other container that you could see.

Just when his face stared into yours, you frowned and turned, slipping out of your hiding on the other side and beginning to run for your life, taking the darkest and tightest side streets you possibly could, begging for your muscels to work properly today.

They screamed and ran after you, whisteling and shouting, but you didnt even think about stopping. They were slowly getting closer, their trained out bodies and experiences in these streets being more than enough to outrun you. Just as you thought you had lost, an idea sparked your mind and you quickly took a sharp turn, then did your best to dissapear into one of the trash containers.

Welp, you didnt expect to be visiting the monster cafe and restaurant dump again so soon. They started looking for you, but since they didnt have the rights to look through some of the trash containers as they were officially work for the monster police, they gave up after a while and just went back to their patrol, cursing loudly, knowing that you were there.

After about ten minutes of their absence, your breathing had calmed and your hands had stopped shaking. You really had to remember that trick. Your clothing had taken only a little bit of toll from the chase, but you still cursed when you saw a few corners slightly torn.

You slowly climbed out, taking in your situation.

With your only good clothings still on, it wasnt hard for you to dissapear in the mass of people to reach the slight safety of your dump. Seeing a few monsters chat with a human not too far away, your thoughts drifted away. Sure, there were nice humans out there, but the monsters probably delt with many more that were rude and unpredictable, with the worst intentions possible. You shuddered and imagined one of them 'turning to dust', knowing that their deaths are different from human deaths.

You were so deep in thought about monster and human relations again that you didnt notice when you suddenly collapsed with something.

Looking up in confusion, you realized that you had bumped into a monster. He was just a little taller than you, his face resembled a skull and he had his hands lazily in his pockets. You stumbeled back a little. He didnt seem too bothered by your appearance and just chuckeled. You could hear him saying that it was alright and then he greeted you. You looked up, questioningly staring into his grinning face.

You could have sworn that you saw a hint of something mischevious in the small lights in his eyesockets for a moment, but you quickly tried to forget it and walk past him, not wanting any attention drawn to you by talking.

A hand suddenly held your shoulder lightly, preventing you from just walking on. You turn around, fearful and frustrated, as you see the skeleton like monster having turned around to you and have his grin suddenly grow even wider. 'dont you think its rude to just leave me all _bonely_   here without saying a hello back?' You looked at him in great confusion for a moment and then suddenly couldnt hold back a snicker as you realized that he had made a pun. A skeleton pun.

It really didnt take much to make you laugh after all of the stuff you had been through, and you could gladly accept a distraction like that. But you also knew that it had been quite some time since you talked, and not wanting to draw even more attention to you with your probably pretty terrible sounding voice at this point, you just frowned a bit as you cast a quick glance further down the street.

'oh. you dont talk much, huh? thats fine. you probably have your own human problems to worry about' You nodd and start walking away, trying to focus on the street and the surrounding people more to prevent bumping into anyone else like that.

The monster had been surprisingly nice, although he probably thought of you as just a normal citizen, not one of those trash-eating and homeless scums that hid and ran from the police.

When you finally arrived, you took out your thin blanket and cowered up in a corner formed by a chimney tube going up the house. You knew that you usual clothes wouldnt hold too long, so you stayed in the ones you were now. Youd probably have to throw the other ones away soon, a torn t-shirt and a pair of nearly indistinctable leggings. You sighed.

You were playing with the thought of just not talking ever again, and you nearly cried, but then tried to tell yourself to stop being such a crybaby and that the world wasnt ending.

Which was right, because it kindof had already ended for you as soon as you were forced to live like this, after... You pushed the memories down.

You still felt like crying, especially since the voices were creeping back into your mind, but you tried to distract yourself and settled on the thought of not ever speaking, ever again. You didnt really know any sign language, but you probably wouldnt have to communicate with anyone else for the rest of your pointless life anyway.

If you were careful, that is. And you promised yourself to never get attached to anyone else, like you had so many times already - referring to promised and attached.

Your stomach started growling and giving you a feeling of dire emptyness, but you knew you had to ignore it. Taking out your 'bed', you watched the dark slowly crawl up the sky. You had been promising and thinking for longer than you had realized, and now it was time for you to go to sleep to wake up in the early morning.

To look through dumps and trash for food.

To freeze once more and beg for spring and summer to hurry up.

To throw away your things and maybe run from the police once more.

To hide all day and hope that nobody saw you.

To hear all of their painful words through your ears hit your heart... if you even had something like a heart left after all of this.

You sighed, and with tears still in your eyes, exhaustion forced you to fall asleep, even though the hard pavement was uncomfortable and rough against you through your sparce sheets.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

A few days had passed, and you kept your self-promise. Not a single word ever escaped your lips, not like there were actually any oppertunities to talk anyways. You had been getting enough food to survive, and you found that you really, really loved monster food alot. It was far better than human food, or at least, monster food didnt grow disgusting after a day in the trash bin.

You shuddered at the cold wind that suddenly blew towards you, making you hurry up, but also make your heart give off a strange feeling. The cold had always had that weird effect on you, a feeling of being comfortable.

You had taken your sweet time at the bins near that monster cafe, and after that got chased by policemen with dogs, barely escaping, and then having to hide out for quite some time in a foul smelling trash bin.

You werent always lucky with your hiding spots.

But through this course of events, you had to walk down the street at night. It didnt really bother you at all, if anything, you were thinking more of the symptoms of sleep deprivation you would be experiencing tomorrow. You had to wonder wether you would even be able to run away from anything while you had bags under your eyes and wanted to do nothing more but fall asleep, but you decided to worry about that later.

As you walked through the abandoned streets, you suddenly realized how much you had missed the night. It was calm, quiet, and although the wind was far colder than during the day, a few chills were never really able to get you down. If anything, the cold reminded you that you were free, that there was space around you.

Taking a deep breath in, you enjoyed the silence for a moment as you stopped before turning into the side street that held your things. The dark of the night made something linger inside you and you noticed that it was excitement. You sighed, feeling a strange feeling that was tugging you outwards. A feeling that told you to not just stand there, but do something. Go out, go away, move away or just explore new areas. But you knew you couldnt follow your eager restlessness, you didnt have time for that.

If you did, you would probably starve to death sooner or later, or at least experience some great portions of pain from hunger and plenty of other problems like dehydration, cold, police...

Speak of the devil... You were just about to pull your things out when you heard steps. Hiding like you usualy do, you closed your eyes this time, strained your ears and hoped it was not the police... anything but them. You really werent in the mood for another chase scene at the moment.

After a little while, you noticed it was only one set of shoes, so it was somebody alone. Phew. You let out a very quiet, relieved sigh as you knew that it was just another homeless person, looking for a place to rest for the night in a random dark street.

You still tried to keep yourself as hidden as possible, though, and the stranger was walking awfully slowly. But eventually, he passed your hiding spot and you let go of the breath you had been holding. You started to get out your thin excuse for a blanket and spread out the sheets when you heard a noise behind you. Your head snapped around to look at the glimpse of the wide street, but there was nothing there but the moon shining from the clear, starlit sky and you turned back to continue what you were doing.

You tried to tell yourself you were only paranoid, which was probably the case. After being so close to being caught today, it was no wonder that your nerves were completely on end, seeing danger absolutely everywhere and maybe even imagining it.

You sighed at your thoughts as you were just standing up to go and check wether you had enough water for another day when you suddenly felt hot breath at the back of your neck. You spun around quickly but were only greeted by a fist to your chin that sent you way off balance and you realized that your attacker had hit just the right nerve that connected with your brain.

You felt pain roar up in your head and tried to stand up, fight back or do absolutely anything, but your attacker seemed like a skilled fighter as he had you pinned down fairly quickly. Despite the situation, your pride was hurt from giving such a weak fight. You felt pain sting at your spine and sides as he started hitting you, and you struggled, but to no avail.

Suddenly one of his 'hits' caused you to feel a rather stinging and deep pain with the strange feeling of loosing pressure in your hip, you suddenly realized with horror that he must have a knife with him. This was it. You were done for, and he was going to kill you here, in this lonely, dark side street, and then hide you in the dump.

Nobody would find your body, and nobody would really care, either. Nobody would notice. Nobody would know. Nobody would see, or hear of you, ever again.

You did the only thing that came to mind to help yourself out of this situation.

You took a deep breath of air.

You prepared your vocal cords as best as absolutely possible, even though you knew that your throat was going to be very displeased with your actions.

And then, with all of your might you screamed out. It came out far louder and higher pitched than you expected, but that was actually a pretty good thing. It only earned you a laugh from your dominent enemy.

'Pff, nobody will hear you in this abandoned place, chick. I actually just wanted to find myself some place to stay for the night, but it looks like I found quite the entertainment toy instead'

You were still locked into his grip, being unable to escape no matter how hard you tried. Disgust crawled up your throat and you wanted to vomit at his words. You tried to let out another yell, but this time he took his hand over your mouth and quietened you. You instinctively tried to pull your head back, extremely uncomfortable at the touch, but then cleared your mind of the pain and urge to vomit and bit down on his hand.

He only gave a small yelp as he pulled it away and then just watched you scream for a while as you tried to desperatly get someone to help and at the same time to hold your side to stop the bleeding and pain. Fuck, why wasnt anybody else here right now? Why were the streets so abandoned? Why wasnt anybody going on a midnight walk right now while carrying a gun? Or at least a cellphone to call the police?

Then you suddenly felt his cold fingers on your hips and you hissed and squirmed both at the pain and the uncomfortable feeling of being touched, but he wasnt going to let you go anywhere. You still did your best, but you were a nothing against him, and just as he tried to lift your shirt to grab under it and you thought that you were absolutely done for by not only being killed, but also raped, a deep, threatening voice sounded not too far away.

'pal, if i were you, id step back and let her go _right now_ '

The stranger turned to see the silouhette of a monster standing there, but he didnt budge away from you even an inch. You were too pained and disgusted at the moment to realize anything or really grasp the situation at all. You just wanted your attacker to go away and leave you alone.

'welp, i warned ya'

  
And without another moment to spare, his weight was lifted off you and you took a deep breath of air, your shaky hands quickly grabbing your gashing wound. You nearly screamed again in pain, but pressed the sound down as you desperatly grabbed for one of your torn clothes not too far away to stop the goddamn bleeding.

You heard a loud thud, and even though you tried to not pay attention to it, you could still make out a scream of pain come from the sadistic stranger as you could catch a glimpse of him being smashed against the stone wall. So thats what magic is like.

Turning your focus back to your wound with a frown, you could see that your attempted makeshift bandage was already soaked. On top of all of your pain and fear, you could sense darkness creeping into your mind and slowly surrounding your vision. You were falling unconscious.

You could only barely make out another loud thud and then a scream as you felt your limbs grow weak and wishing to give up. With a painful twinge in your stomach, you had to submit to the cold taking over your mind and slowly numbing the pain.

You could feel yourself rest back against the cold, thinking to yourself that this was it. These were your last moments, alone in a trashed side street. You werent really surprised, but you just wished you could thank the monster for hurting your attacker and partly saving you. Your eyes fell shut slowly.

You were too weak to do anything as the last thing you heard was a strange sound and then shuffeling and moving above you.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

For a short moment, your body recollected, allowing you to drift out of your dark sleep for a moment. You didnt open your eyes, but you could feel something underneath you, and a gentle and soothening rocking from side to side. You didnt dare move, but tensed up a bit when your mind slowly grasped that you were being carried somewhere.

'calm down. its okay, just hang in there'

The deep voice from your saviour sounded above you, and you tried your best to relax without really consciously wanting to. Your brain was too confused and weak to go against orders.

And with that, the dark creeped back and you welcomed it thankfully before the pain had a chance to set back in.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

 

When you slowly drifted back towards being aware of yourself, you didnt dare open your eyes. Trying to remember what had happened, your senses made their way back to your mind and you could feel something... soft beneath you. After a few more moments of attempting to puzzle reality back together, you tried to decide wether you were dead and in a pre-stage to hell or still alive through a miracle somehow.

You didnt want to, but you had to open your eyes. You found yourself looking at a white ceiling. You... were indoors? Why?

Carefuly trying to move, you felt pain stab up from your side once more and a feeling of soreness cover you. You couldnt help but take a sharp breath in as you shifted to the side a bit in an attempt to turn your head and look at your surroundings a bit better.

When you were finally in a slightly better position, you could see that you were in something like  a badroom... GOD you havnt been in one of those in quite some time. Just as you started to think of how exactly you got here, your mind still being a bit fuzzy, you could hear faint steps and before you could turn your head back to stare up, a monster entered the room. He looked like a pretty tall skeleton with a more human like body than the one that had saved you. You made a mental note to thank him later for saving your pitiful life.

The monster stood there for a moment in surprise and then took a few steps forward.

'OH DEAR! YOU SEEM VERY HURT, HUMAN! HOW DID YOU GET HERE? DID MY BROTHER BANDAGE YOU UP LIKE THAT?'

You couldnt really move without pain and still didnt want to speak, so you couldnt do anything else but akwardly and fearfully stare at him.

Even though his voice was louder than average, he seemed nice enough, but you were pretty sure that you were brought here for more of a reason than just friendliness, even if they were monsters. People, wether they were monsters or humans, always wanted something in return when they helped you, thats one thing you had to learn the hard way far too many times.

The skeleton rushed off after giving you another pitiful look and you could hear his muffeled calls echo through the place.

'SANS! SAAANS, WHERE ARE YOU?!'

Judging by the volume change and the step patterns, you could safely assume that you were in a house, not an appartment. And he seemed to have a brother? Was that the skeleton that had saved you earlier?

Your question was answered a moment later as both monsters stood infront of you. They seemed like two polar opposites, one relatively small in comparison to the other, with blue and black in clothes, a relaxed stature and a quiet, deep voice, while the other was extremely tall, had white, yellow and red as a clothing color choice and seemed full of energy and positivity with a loud a beaming voice.

The shorter one of the skeleton monsters, even though he was a good bit taller than you, walked over to you and you turned your head to face the ceiling again, giving a quiet squel as you felt him touch the place you had been stabbed. You could practically feel his brother's questioning look, but he seemed to just ignore it as he got out another stripe of bandages.

'alright, we're gonna have to turn you around. you still got some nasty lookin stuff on your back that i need to tend to. paps, go and give toriel a phone call and tell her to hurry up. bandages aint the most efficient healin method, you know'

You could hear the other skeleton hesitate for a moment, but then more steps indicated that he was going to call whoever this 'Toriel' person was as his brother had ordered to. You could make out a muffeled shout from him a minute after he left though.

'OKAY, BUT YOUR GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS AFTERWARDS, LAZYBONES!'

You couldnt help but crack a tiny smile as the taller one called your saviour lazybones. He was preparing some bandages and ointments at the moment as you could see from the corner of your eyes. Then, with a reassuring smile, he told you to turn around, and you hesitantly did.

There was no reason not to trust the two brothers, and you didnt have much of a choice anyway. You knew that the magic that you saw when you could witness a grown man being thrown around like a puppet was only a fraction of his powers, and you really didnt want to test his patience right now.

Moving up and turning on your back while trying to supress any noises to give out that you were in pain, you relaxed against the soft underneath you. It had been so long since you had layed on something so comfortable...

The pain on your back and the occasional burning were the only things that kept you awake. Your knocked out phase hadnt really been refreshing, and you hadnt properly slept for a pretty long time. After he was done, you had to turn around again to face up. When you did, your back felt much better already, pressed against the softness beneath you by your own weight.

'alright, now you just have to sit up and drink somethin and then wait till tori comes here'

Listening to his instructions silently, you did what he said, even if it took you a few attempts to sit up. You could feel his hands stedying you and getting you to sit up properly. You saw that you were on a greenish bed, and you gladly accepted the glass of water that he gave you and drank it.

After taking a few small sips, thirst taking over, you just threw your self control out the window and gulped down the entire glass. It earned you a small laugh as he took the glass and poured more water into it. Only drinking half of the refreshing liquid this time, you politely set it aside and then tried to relax to wait for whom ever they had called for help.

You didnt feel like showing it too much, but you owed your life to this monster. Not just had he saved you, but also taken care of that gashing wound that would have killed you for sure, but he also gave you more than you needed to barely just survive. You tried to wrack your brain for any possible ways to repay him, but nothing came to mind that you could possibly give him.

You didnt posess anything valuable, nor were you yourself worth anything. Why had he even bothered saving you in the first place?

You watched as he went out of the room to have a quick whisper with papyrus, presumably telling him what happened, and then cane back into the room and sat down a good length away from you, careful not to invade any personal space. You wanted to ask who exactly you were waiting for, but your promise not to speak was pumping in the back of your head. You didnt really want to say anything either, but you wanted to still communicate. Weird. Maybe you should at least try to learn some sign language after all.

There was an akward silence, and you both just sat there, not looking anywhere in particulair. You wished that you would have a way to say thank you.

Your head jerked up as you heard a loud ring echo through the place, and the skeleton beside you jumped up, hurrying out of the room and some sounds and muffeled words told you that this someone called Toriel had arrived. The name sounded a bit extraordinary, so you assumed it was a monster.

Your assumption was confirmed as a pretty big, but very fluffy and soft looking goat monster stepped into the room. You looked at her with question in your eyes, trying to keep an emotionless face as she warmly smiled at you.

'Greetings, human. Oh... Oh dear, you seem quite more hurt than I expected... but I am Toriel. I am here to heal you. May I look at your wounds more closely?'

Her voice was soft, but still loud and somehow... official and royal sounding, like a leader or an announcer would speak. You nodded carefuly. Not like you really had a choice anyways. The two skeleton monsters stood there, a bit further behind, and watched you two interact.

She calmly walked towards you and her gigantic... paws (?) started surprisingly accuratly looking over you. She didnt seem to find anything specific, and then pulled back to look at you. Her voice was full of concern and care. It almost seemed too perfect to be real for her to be so nice and gentle.

'I am sorry, but in order for me to heal you, we will have to take off that temporary bandage. Do not worry, it wont be long, and I will bandage you up right after. You will heal quicker and with less pain if you let me heal you. Is that alright?'

You looked at her face. Why was she asking? They wouldnt let you just walk out of here in your state, and why would you have anything against being healed? Sure, it may hurt for a moment, but you technically belonged to them since they saved your life. They obviously wouldnt take a no as an answer, so why ask?

You still nodded though, and the gentle monster started to carefully take the bandage off. You hissed a little at the pain and felt warmth trickle down from the cut, and you could hear Toriel gasp in shock at the sight.

Right after, you could sense a very calming and steadying feeling surrounding your entire body and you realized that she must be using magic. You didnt really mind as long as it would heal you. The pain stopped practically immidiently, but you still looked away. You didnt have to much of a problem with blood, but you felt that you didnt want to see this for some reason.

She was done fairly quickly and stood up, reaching for the bundeled up medical supply and taking out a bandage to re-apply it. You patiently waited and gritted your teeth as the fabric covered the touchy wound, but it didnt hurt as much as it had before.

You could see her step back and you relaxed once more, feeling much better than when you woke up, but still very tired from both your injuries and your eventful day. You couldnt really hold back a yawn and were about to try and apologize somehow, but your caring healer just laughed.

'Ah yes, I can see that you are quite tired tonight. Do not worry, you can stay here if you like! And, well, that is, if... this place is comfortable enough for you'

You couldnt think of anything to say. Go out and pretend to have somewhere to go, or crash for the night and then leave first thing so you dont become a bother? You chose the latter. You were hardly in condition to walk anyways, and you promised yourself to pay them back later in any way you could.

You nodded and tried to smile, which seemed like the right answer since you could see her face light up immidiently.

'That is wonderful! Now, Sans, please help your guest get comfortable and clean up this medical equipment... Oh, Im sorry. I almost forgot to ask you what your name is!'

The kind woman slightly leaned to you and gave you an encouraging smile. You didnt know what to do, so you just kindof gazed across the room.

'Oh! You do not speak? That is alright, then. Do you know how to sign?'

You shook your head and cursed at yourself again for not having thought of learning it earlier on. You really had to if you wanted to at least thank them.

'Oh, well... Can you write?'

You nodded, and her face seemed to brighten up again as she handed you a noteblock and a pen. You scribbled 'Im (y/n)' on it and gave it to her.

'Well then, it is very nice to have you here, (y/n)! I am pronouncing that right, am I not?'

You hurry to nodd at her and quickly scribble down a little text of things you had wanted to say these past few minutes.

'Thank very much for taking care fo me, and thank you for saving me, especially sans. I probably would have died if it werent for you. I dont really have any overly valuable things I could give you to repay you, but I hope I can do so someday anyways, even if I know I wont ever be able to repay you for what you have done for me. I would probably be dead by now and I only have my life to thank you. I dont want to be too much of a bother, so if you would like me to, I can leave for my own home. You have already done too much for me. Thank you again'

Ripping off the paper, you handed it to the monsters, and they all gathered around to read it at the same time.

Sans' eyes widened. 'Holy shit, kid. Dont sweat it like that, we just helped you out. None of us could have just watched somebody getting attacked like that and done nothing!'

There was a moment of silence as everybody turned to stare at sans. He seemed confused. 'huh? what are you- oh' He suddenly had recollection in his eyes, he sighed, did a motion with his eyesockets and little glowing pupils as if he were rolling his eyes and walked over to a jar located on a small coffee table not too far.

Grumbeling something indistinctible, you could see him reluctantly drop a coin into the container, and you could make out the writing 'Swear Jar' on a piece of paper that had been stuck to it. You couldnt help but snort, lifting both your hands to hold back a laugh at any costs. They had a swear jar, and your heroic saviour just had to donate a dollar to it.

Their eyes slwoly drifted to you and you blushed with embarressment, yor laugh and smile fading. Oh god. Had you offended them? Had it been rude of you to laugh at something like this?

But just as you were beginning to get worried, you could hear Toriel and Papyrus start laughing aloud, even if Toriel's laugh was more of a giggle.

'Well, sans, you should better watch your words then. Nobody is breaking the rules that Frisk set up. They even put up the perfect punishment if you do'

Toriel's soft voice sounded a little mockingly across the room, and sans mumbled something to himself again before suddenly dissapearing into thin air. You held back a gasp as you wondered where he could have gone, and how he had left so quickly without a proper warning.

You noticed Papyrus do something like rolling his eyes and then take a step towards you. 'HUMAN, ALTHOUGH SANS MAY HAVE SWEARED, HE IS RIGHT. THERE IS NO NEED TO THANK US LIKE THIS. ANYBODY BEING CLOSE WOULD HAVE SAVED YOU!'

You were pretty sure that that wasnt the case, but he seemed so... energetic and positive, you didnt dare say anything. Not like you could, really, and your hand hurt from writing so much so quickly anyway. You just smiled at them.

'I am going to agree with Papyrus. There is no need to thank us like this, but you are very very welcome, my child. Now, it is better you rest. I will wake you in the morning for breakfast, and then you may leave if you wish to. Goodnight!'

Following Toriel's lead, Papyrus went out of the room and Toriel turned off the lights. You werent really able to say anything to them, but you just hoped that they knew that you would wish them a good night as well.

You turned around, pulling the warm and comfy blanket over you. You sighed quietly. It had been so, so terribly long since you could lie down properly like this, on something warm and cozy without the feeling of freezing and being eaten from the inside by your own stomach all the time.

You were still doing your best to think of a way to give them something, anything for their kindness. Nobody had treated you this way before, and although you had the small, silent wish deep down to stay here, you knew you couldnt. People like them didnt deserve to be around people like you.

You were nothing but part of the homeless, poor, untalented and low dirt of humanity, and they were kind, generous, skilled and strong important monsters, all individual and so pure. There was no way in hell it would be fair for you to stay, you didnt deserve something like this. They had already given you way too much. Just beating up your attacker had been too much.

You felt a sting in your heart, your soul was twisting and turning in agony at your own thoughts. They were true... And there they were. Tears were forming in your eyes and you hated yourself even more for having so much self-pity. Why did you want to cry every time you thought of the truth?

Why were you so stupid and selfish? Why didnt you just die back there like you should have?

You pressed your eyes close and hoped the tears would go away, but they didnt, they just started to sting and make your chest ache even more.

You opened them and stared into the dark of the room.

**Thats right. You dont deserve this.**

A quiet and dark voice sounded from somewhere further away... you were hearing voices again. Great. It wasnt anything new. You would hear voices everytime you cried FROM SELF-PITY.

That was it. Tears started to roll from your cheeks and you supressed a sob. And there it was... a build up in your throat and stomach, and you felt the increadible urge to scream...

...but you didnt.

Tensing up with your mouth open and tears flowing down like rivers, your face scrunched up and pleaded for help with it's appearance, not a single sound came from your vocal cords, only silence was there as you took your sadness and pushed it down against your heart.

Pain went through your very soul as the urge faded and you knew you had just stored up even more negativity, but you didnt care.

You always cry like this.

One build up after a nother, with quiet, near soundless sobs inbetween... It had taken you years, but you had gotten used to crying as quiet as absolutely possible.

**Yeah, it's always been like this. Pathetic welp. You cant do anything, your even too incompetent to cry properly. Why didnt you just stand up and run when they saved you? Why didnt you speak? Do you think your voice is too good for them, you self-centered brat?**

_NO!_   You screamed in your thoughts, but it was no use. The whispering, dark voice continued to talk to you.

**Pff, you cant do anything. All of your talents are crying and wheeping, unable to help yourself. Why do you keep trying to bother others? Why are you even still alive? How do you think your saviours would feel if they truly knew how fucking dumb and weak you are, huh? If they knew what you had DONE?**

_Stop... just stop_ , you pleaded in your thoughts. You didnt want to cry here. On the streets, it was okay. Nobody could hear you there, and nobody really cared about you anyways. But here? What would they do if they would find you wheeping like this?

**All they ever did was help you, give you more than you ever deserved and you cant even be happy and sleep normally for them. Thats some gratefulness right there!**

You buried your face into the blanket and hoped that everything would dry out till the morning. Sobing quietly again, you felt tireness slowly seep through your body and the tears stopped. Picking up the glass beside you, you gulped down the remaining water in it from some time back and felt sleep overcoming you. You were too tired to keep crying, even though a part of you wanted to.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

 

The next morning, it took you a few moments and looking around to remember where you were. At first, you were extremely confused, but the stinging at your side told you what had happened. Your mind was far less fuzzy this time and you could remember most of the events.

Before you had the chance to stand up, you heard a door being slammed open.

'GOOD MORNING, (Y/N)! I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL! TORIEL TOLD ME TO WAKE YOU AND TELL YOU THAT BREAKFAST IS READY DOWNSTAIRS!'

Rushing steps followed and you could safely assume that Papyrus went to eat.

Slowly shuffeling up and ignoring the soreness in your limbs, you folded the wood-green blankets and then took a good look around the room. You hadnt seen it in broad daylight yet.

The floor was a semi-dark gray-blue tone, there were two lamps which were both off at the moment. The bed was as green as the sheets and the blanket. You had been too confused and in pain to realize that their light must have been orange last night. It wasnt the stinging, neon orange, but the warm and cozy type of orange. You wondered how well that did with the cold colors of the room.

There was a Drawer, a window, a closet right next to the window and a pretty big table opposite to the window. One of the lamps, the more... modern looking one actually stood on the table where there were also plently of papers stacked neatly. The closet had a mirror, so you made your way there. The floor turned out to be a carpet. Not a thick one, but soft enough to damp your steps.

You saw yourself standing there, and you nearly turned around and slammed yourself onto the bed once more because of your cringe. You were obviously underweight. It didnt look like you were an Alien, but it was far from just thin or even pretty.

Your clothes were old and looked pretty bad. You shuddered as you remembered why and then just pushed the memories back down before you could properly focus on them. Your hair was a gigantic mess and you tried to flat it out a bit, but it was pretty useless without a comb and a few hours of time.

Sighing, you turned around and decided to leave the room like you had been asked to. You nearly forgot the notepad and the pen, but took them with you last moment.

The door lead out to a corridor with far more fitting colors than the room you had spent the night in. It was mostly soft orange and yellow paired with white and cozy brown. Drawings of yellow flowers were across the wall, all in different drawing styles. Some were completely professional, while others looked like a small child had did their best to drawn them.

There were plenty of windows that let in alot of light, with magenta, pink and purple small flowers in baskets that must be hanging on the outside of the windows, only letting the flowers be visible from the inside.

Walking along the hallway, you could make out some of the city through the windows. The floor was made of natural, not too dark and not too bright wood which creaked beneath your steps. Halfway through the corridor was a staircase leading down. There were two more rooms on the floor, but you didnt want to walk past the stairs to look at them, so you just went down.

The stairs did a 180° turn and led into something that looked like a living room and a dining room at once. There was a glass door that led out into a garden and a normal door that was probably the entrance. There were two more ways out, both doorless frames, one leading to a kitchen and the other to another hallway with more bedroom like doors.

In the middle of the gigantic room was a long table with 5 chairs and a couch. The couch was one one side, there was a royal looking chair on each end and three across the couch. Behind the three chairs was a pretty big and modern looking TV with plenty of Game consoles under it and tons of different controlers spread across the floor infront of the screen.

Papyrus and Toriel were sitting on two of the normal chairs and sans was across slumped on the couch in a way so he could still see the TV. The TV seemed to be muted and was flicking from channel to channel. Papyrus was eating spaghetti, Toriel was eating waffles and sans was too busy studying the program with the remote control to eat from his own plate full of pasta similair to Papyrus'. His back and the back of the couch were turned towards you.

The taller skeleton noticed you first and jumped up from his food. 

'GOOD MORNING, (Y/N)! I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL! I, THE Great... is something wrong?'

His voice quietened for a moment as your hands had flung to your aching head from his volume, dropping the notepad. You grunted and picked it up, writing on it. It wasnt your best writing because you were standing, but it was readable. Sans had turned around to look at you and Toriel had stopped eating and was giving you a concerned look.

_'Im sorry, Papyrus, but your voice is a bit too loud, and I still have a headache'_

You reached it out to him and he nodded understandingly after looking over it. Your throat was hurting from screaming and yelling last night as well, but you didnt want to mention that. Papyrus looked over to Toriel, who cleared her throat and began talking with a smile.

'Good morning, (y/n). It is nice to see you up. I can give you something about your headache in a moment. What would you like for breakfast, my dear? Oh. How about you sit down first?'

And with that, Toriel hurried off into the kitchen.

You nodded and walked up to the table, suddenly unsure where to sit down. You didnt want to take up space on the couch, it seemed too comfotable for you to ruin it with your dirty clothes. But you also didnt want to sit on the royal looking chairs since they seemed to be for important people only, and sitting on the remaining normal chair would block sans' sight. You didnt want to take Toriel's seat either. You frowned.

Toriel came back and saw you standing there unsurely immidiently.

'Oh. It is alright if you sit down on the golden chairs. They are only special for decoration, my child. You can also just sit in my place, if you like. And I do not think that sans would mind somebody else on a couch meant for three'

You felt your face grow a little hot in embaressment and settled down on one of the 'golden chairs', even though a bit akwardly. Toriel had stood there and waited to offer her own seat as well, but there was no way in hell you were taking it.

Toriel placed a small, white pill and a glass of water infront of you.

'Here, this is for your headache. It should get better in a moment. Now, will you please write down what you would like to eat? Do you like Pie?'

You pulled the notebook closer to you and write down that Pie was fine. You assumed that that was the only thing they had left at the moment.

'Oh! Alright, then. I will get too making Pie right away! What flavours do you like?'

Ooops. Quickly gripping the pen firmly again, you wrote down that you didnt want to waste any of their time and would prefer to eat something they already had. The thought of food made your stomach churn, but thankfully, it didnt growl or make any noises whatsoever.

'Oh. We only have spaghetti left, but... Are you sure you do not wish for me to make anything for you? I love to bake, so it is alright if you want something else!'

You just shook your head and although Toriel's expression shifted for a moment, it returned to a smile quickly and she went off to get your food.

Food. Monster food. And you were having your free portion of it.

You already started writing down another thank you letter when Toriel returned and stopped you.

'Oh goodness! You really musnt do that, my child. It is alright, believe me. Now, eat your food. Frisk and Asgore will come over in a moment, and I am confident Frisk will be willing to teach you some sign language'

You wanted to object, but the motherly tone in her voice made you act otherwise. You just hoped you could get out of here before you got attached to anyone too much.

Suffice to say, the monster food spaghetti was amazing. It took you every bit of your self-control to not gobble it down in one go. You got a strange look from sans, but he quickly resumed to just watching TV - or rather, looking for something to watch.

When you were finally done, you sat back for a moment to take it all in. The soft chair, the warm air. These caring monsters around you and your full, for once satisfied stomach. You sighed and closed your eyes, wishing that you could just stay here, but that was impossible. Purely impossible. Not an option. No pathway to even consider. You werent worth enough to just destroy their perfect and peaceful lives and then also waste their time like that.

A loud ringing coming from somewhat behind you ripped you out of your thoughts.

'OH! OH! KING ASGORE AND FRISK ARE HERE FROM THAT MORNING DISCUSSION!'

Wait. King Asgore? Morning discussion? Your head had calmed down, but now hurt began seeping in once more as your thoughts started tripping over one another.

'Papyrus, you know that Agore does not wish to be called that way. His name is just Asgore'

'OH! SORRY, QUEEN TORIEL!'

Queen Toriel. You had been served by the Queen of monsters and didnt even notice... How? And why are monsters so perfectly modest?! Your head started to clearly hurt again from this new information. How did they ever think you were worth saving? And if they did... What in hell did they expect you to do?!?

It explained why Papyrus was so quiet and modest even though it clearly wasnt his nature. Toriel just laughed.

'Please, dear, you know that you can just call me Toriel, Papyrus. We are Friends after all, are we not?'

Papyrus nodded. Oh geez. How on earth did you get yourself into a group of friends around the King and Queen of monsters??

'SORRY, TORIEL! I FORGOT!'

She just smiled and then rushed off to open the door.

'Ah, Greetings, Frisk, Asgore. Come in! We actually have a guest here today. She just had breakfast.   ...She is an adult, I believe so... Yes, she is feeling much better. I will tell you more once we get inside'

You could only hear The goat monster's side of the conversation, and only a low voice that you could not make out was talking back. And this person Frisk apparently knew sign language, so they might be mute. Makes sense.

When the King and a small child came in, you werent surprised to find that Asgore and Toriel both seemed to fit together perfectly. They were both goat monsters and looked very royal, not to mention their soft spoken personalities. The kid was called Frisk and signed to the others. Sans and Papyrus greeted them all, and you just sat there quietly. What should you do? Write out a greeting as well? But you dont know them... and yet, would it be rude not to? Or the other way around?

Nobody seemed to bother about your behvaiour though as Asgore sat down at the other chair and Frisk made their way to the couch. Frisk smiled and nodded towards you and you couldnt help but smile back. They looked so innocent and young, but it was clear that they were quite smart as well.

'Alright everyone', Toriel spoke up, 'This is (y/n). Frisk can teach her sign language after she ate. She got hurt last night, and sans found and saved her. He brought her here and we cared for her as best as we could, and I can already see that wound being in a much better condition than yesterday. Oh. Would you like some more food, my child? No? That is alright. Frisk, please go and teach our guest how to sign, if she would like. I have to start preparing the other's breakfasts. But be sure to let her shower first, if she likes to that is'

You were about to write down something, but the big monster had already stood up and was heading to the kitchen, humming happily, so you decided it would be okay for now. You just shook your head in Toriel's direction, thinking of how you had planned to leave first thing in the morning.

Frisk took your hand and led you to a bathroom, putting down a few towels and not letting you object in the slightest as they were completely determined to get everything right. You couldnt do anything so you just sighed as they closed the door and left you alone. It _had_   been long since you had last showered. And you had to go to the toilet as well, which you did first.

When you were already showering, you realized you had forgotten how good it felt to clean yourself, and when you were done, you put on your old clothes again and went outside. Frisk was already there, getting you to follow them back into the living room.

They pointed to the notepad and pen and then motioned you to follow.

You picked up your two communication items and stood up, walking after them. The small child led you to the second hallway and to a room that must be under the one you had slept in. The rooms colors were Purple, magenta, white and yellow. There was a comfy looking bed, a pretty big window, a middle sized table with a chair and a closet.

They motioned for you to sit down on a small purple carpet in the middle and then sat across you.

Frisk began teaching you sign language, and you were extremely dedicated to learn everything you could to repay them somehow, to at least be able to talk to all of these kind monsters without using your voice. There was just something going against the idea of talking at the moment.

Somewhere halfway through your teachings, you asked Frisk who's room you had slept in, and to your surprise, it had been sans' room. You made yourself a mental note to thank him again, even if you had already thanked all of them alot. You just had to.

You two continued your lesson.

There was suddenly a quiet knock a while after, and you turned around to see Toriel stepping in.

'Children, you have been here for quite some time and must be tired. Do you want to drink or eat something? Maybe use the bathroom? You have been here in this room for 2 hours already'

You made a frown. Had it really been that long? You decided to actually sign to someone in communication for the first time.

* No, thank you. Im okay.

Toriel was surprised at first, but then smiled.

'My child, you are already very good at signing. Well, I did not wish to disturb you. If there is anything you need, just ask, alright?'

You nodded and then she went out, closing the door behind her. She reminded you of a mother so much... You turned back to Frisk and thought about what Toriel had said. 2 hours. No food, no water... But still. Something inside you felt... different than usual. There was just this calm feeling that filled your entire chest like water clearing off dirt.

It gave you a very calm, collected and controlled feeling. You felt like you could keep learning and holding on for days or even weeks.

Suddenly, a gigantic smile spread across Frisks face and they began to sign.

* Your soul.

You looked at them in confusion. Your soul? You looked down at yourself to find that there was a weak, gray-aqua glow coming from around your chest. You looked up to Frisk, who continued to sign.

* Your soul is patient, right?

You could see that Frisk was trying to keep their phrases simple for you, but you didnt quite understand. They just shook their head and continued the lesson.

You were as patient as ever, patient enough to learn everything you absolutely could. But how did they know? And what did that have to do with that weird glow that had just faded away?

 


	2. Speck of Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second chapter. I hope you enjoy! ^^
> 
> Theme song for Chapter 2: Only One - Illenium ft. Nina Sung ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEDSTPCUOYg )

 

Despite hunger, thirst and the need to go to the bathroom again, the feeling of being in the right place and awaiting the end of the day was keeping you going. You trained your sign language skills for 4 more hours until you could do basicly everything except some of the more complicated phrases and words, but that was alright. Frisk was extremely pleased with your progress and told you that you were a very quick and smart learner, but you brushed it off and said that it was nothing.

When you walked out of the room with Frisk, you only found sans still on the couch watching some live stand up comedy. Frisk led you to the kitchen and you found that it was very spacy and also very pretty and modern as well. They made you drink despite you refusing and then told you to go to the bathroom.

When you came back once more, they had set down a pretty big plate of spaghetti and sat down on the chair next to it. You sighed and found that you had no choice but to eat. You quickly signed to them.

* I will eat. But I will leave afterwards, okay?

Frisk nodded and you started to eat. You were pretty hungry and had to control yourself again, but not as much as this morning. When you finally put the silverware down, you stood up and headed up to the room that you had slept in. You wanted to see wether you had left anything there and possibly clean up a bit.

Just as you started to enter it, you suddenly heard a voice behind you.

'hey kid. no need to come up here again, paps already cleaned up. you didnt have anything on ya when you were brought here'

You jumped a little and turned around. Sans was standing there like it was normal to just appear out of thin air. Literally! You started signing.

* Okay. I could have cleaned up though, after all, it was me who stayed. And thank you for letting me in your room, and for saving me.

He just chuckeled. 'i already told you, dont sweat it, ok? its just what monsters do, i guess' His phrasing suddenly brought your thoughts back to last night and you had to snort.

* You have a swear jar in your room specifically. Why?

You could see how he was embaressed a bit by the way his gaze started shifting, and you were scared you had said something wrong.

'oh, frisk set that one up. for some reason, they get pretty angry when somebody swears... although im the only one ever putting anything in, so... yeah. the others never really sweared in the first place'

You just smiled.

* Okay. Thank you for telling me. I have to go now. Goodbye

'oh, welp, okay then, kiddo. bye. maybe we can hang out sometime again'

You started to turn around and walk to the stairs, not wanting to answer his last question. You would have to lie anyways. He didnt seem to mind too much as you went down. When you took a good look out the window in the main room, you started to recognize just enough of the streets to know where you had to go. You were about to just open the door and leave when Frisk suddenly came running towards you, signing.

* Are you leaving already? Should I tell the others that you are going? Cant you just stay one more night, please?

You smiled meekly at their offer, they were still trying to sign simple.

* No, I cant stay. I have to leave. Please tell them for me. Thank you and goodbye, kid. And if you ever need anything or I can help you with something, then tell me. I want to help you after you helped me so much.

They frowned for a moment, but then nodded understandingly and opened the door. Your own smile grew forcefully a bit wider and you stepped out into the semi-warm after-noon air. Quickly orientating yourself once more, you started walking in the direction of your old hide-out.

Thinking back, you realized with a sinking feeling in your stomach that most of your things should be gone by now. It would still be a 45 minute walk until you truly found out, though. You had left the sheets and your only blanket outside, but your bag and the shredded clothing you had to throw away soon should still be there. Also your reserve and one bottle of water.

You just hoped that luck was on your side this time.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Of course it wasnt.

Everything was gone. The only sign that your things had ever been here was an empty can in your hiding place. You sat down and thought of what you could do.

How could you get more things? How could you find yourself something comfortable to sleep on or water to drink?

Well, you knew that you couldnt stay here anways. You had to move to a different dumpster, you didnt want them to find you here, so you started half-heartedly walking along the street. You didnt really care. All you could think of were their happy and kind faces and this feeling of belonging to them...

You shook your head. You didnt want to think about them anymore, you could never go back to them, as much as you wanted to.

Continuing to struggle through the masses of people, you noticed weird looks coming from here and there, but you didnt care. You had gotten used to this kind of stuff and didnt even bat an eye at the people who gave you their strange glances.

It didnt take you long to find a new place to stay, and you soon had most things set up. It was located in a place where the majority of civilians were monsters with, again, a small cafe right next to the dump you would be calling your new home from now on.

The cafe was a cold light blue, bright yellow and brown. They were typical colors for something like this. It was a monster cafe for sure judging by all of the glass. Monsters just loved the outside too much to look away from the sky or the outside for even a few minutes as most seats were located near the transparent walls.

It was a much quieter part of the town even if it was only 30 minutes of walking away. You found a few hiding spots, stored a bit of monster food that you had just found away and then thought of how to get yourself something to sleep on.

You sighed. Bet Toriel, Asgore, Frisk, sans and Papyrus didnt have problems with that... You quickly shook your head at yourself. No. How could you think that? They probably had their own problems, and besides, they deserved it. You didnt.

Digging through the trash, trying to find some fabric to rest on for the night, you didnt have much luck... again. Only a few extremely old and shredded pieces of clothing, not much better than the ones that you had wanted to get rid of, that was all you found when the sun was already beginning to set.

It was still fairly cold, and you ended up sitting there with these few bits and pieces and trying not to freeze. With the temperature, it wasnt even safe enough to sleep: There was a good chance you could freeze to death. So you just sat there and waited for morning to roll around.

Hours had passed and you were still rocking back and forth to not fall asleep and to keep yourself at least a bit warm. You werent succeeding too well on that last part.

Finally, FINALLY morning came, and you stood up to sit in the sunshine, hoping that that would warm you up at least a little bit. You were still full enough from yesterdays two meals, so you could afford to not look into the trash containers for once and instead just try to deal with the strange feeling in your chest.

It was something that just didnt seem to leave, a sting in your heart that seemed permanent. You sighed and shivered once more, the wind picking up. You had no clue what to do about it, but for some reason you felt terrible.

It was like something was missing, like... maybe, just maybe... you shouldnt have... left them?

You shook your head violently at the thought. No, thats just pathetic. You have no right or reason to disturb their perfect lives and burden them with your meaningless little problems.

 

These thoughts didnt cross your mind again for a few days, and you did your best to forget the aching pain in your stomach and chest. It wasnt easy, but eventually, you got used to it. Used to the thought that things could have ended better, and you blamed yourself for it. Like you always did.

 

 

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4 Days had passed ever since... well, you had to move. You didnt want to remember everything that had happened... It was painful for you for some reason. Luckily, it hadnt rained in the past days.

You had been practicing sign language on your own a bit to be able to sign faster and a bit clearer, but you couldnt actually learn any new phrases since... well, anways.

It was another cold morning as you sat there, observing the small cafe. You had found an angle at which you could sit mostly unseen but be able to look inside due to the way the cafe was built with all of the glass. You didnt really have anything better to do while you waited for the dark of the night to roll around, so you just sat there and watched.

At first, you were a bit paranoid about people seeing you, but either nobody cared or they didnt really pay attention. Either way, nobody seemed to care for your appearance, so you just... sat there. Watching monsters and occasionally humans go in and out of the place.

Suddenly, a certain monster that came out of the building caught your attention... wasnt that... sans? That was the monster that had saved you when you were attacked... You whinced at the memory, but tried to move as little as possible as you watched him exit the place and hurry away.

You hadnt seen him come in, and you have been watching like this for an hour. Had he just been eating in there for a while longer than one usually would? Probably.

Food... your mouth watered, but you quickly gulped down any spit that would have formed in your mouth and saw him... re-enter?

Curiosity sparked in your chest as you saw him enter and then walk right through the cafe, dissapearing from your line of view. Why would he stay in there a long time and then come out for only a moment, just to walk inside again? And why did he walk past so many tables, didnt monsters prefer to sit at any windows and doors there were?

It took you a moment until you realized that he probably worked at this cafe... well fuck. What were you going to do now? Move again? You hadnt even properly settled here, and you had been lucky to know this place. You didnt know any other dumps you could go, and finding a new one would get you killed for sure.

You sighed. Why did your life have to be like this?

But you quickly recollected, shaking your head and muttering to yourself about how life was fair to you, you just deserved what you got from people and fait every day. Yep. Every single day worth of pain was your own fault...

Tears floded your vision as you buried your face in your hands to not let anybody see you cry. Shuffeling deeper into the small street, you hid among some trash and began to sob. Although trying to keep yourself quiet, it didnt quite work as your thoughts drifted to the fact that maybe, just maybe you had a chance to make everything better...

They were so kind. Surely they wouldnt throw you out, and even if they did, what was the harm? It was impossible for things to get worse than this... NO!

You couldnt. You just couldnt. You didnt deserve it, they deserved better, you just, just couldnt.

It took you about an hour to cry yourself out to exhaustion. You wanted to continue crying, but just didnt have the strength to. You flopped to the ground and did your best to stay awake to at least get yourself to a little bit more comfortable position, but your body wasnt having it.

Your eyelids dropped and you fell into a dreamless and restless sleep as the sun slowly began to set.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

 

 

With a sigh, sans clicked the door of the cafe closed. The sky was already dark, and a crescent moon hung in the sky, barely illuminating the cold streets as the lanterns on it already did the job. He took a good look around: He had closed somewhat earlier and his brother expected him to show up in about 10 minutes, so he had a moment to investigate what he saw earlier today.

Putting the keys away, he slowly and casualy looking made his way into the side street. He kept his steps loud on purpose to let anybody there know that he was coming through. After a few steps, he stopped and looked around.

It was pretty dark, so he let his glowing white pupils adjust to the lack of street lights for a moment. After taking another good look, he thought he had caught on a dead end and that he must have been mistaken, when he heard a quiet shuffle not too far away. His head flung around to look in the direction and his arms came out of his pockets on instinct.

He quickly calmed his magic and slowly, now taking near silent steps, walked towards the noise. Straining his pupils and using a swift spell to increase his eye sight for a moment, he could make out somebody sleeping among some trash.

You shuffeled again, giving out quiet murmurs. Sans, not wanting to wake you up, took a few steps back again and then sighed.

He knew it. He had been suspecting it all along, but hadnt been sure. He had seen many underweight humans around that lived normal lives, but the way you had acted just got him suspicious. He wanted to help, but there was nothing he could do. If you found out that he knew you didnt have a place to stay, then you would run away again.

He thought for a moment. He had to gain your trust somehow, and then, only then offer his help. He had seen your frantic and panicked expression when you left, and he knew for sure that you were extremely denying of help. But how in the star's names could he gain your trust if you didnt even want to see his face from all of your denial?

He slowly turned around and walked back to the entrance of the cafe, unlocking the front door and walking behind the counter once more. Fishing out a slightly burned piece of cake that a customer hadnt wanted to take, but was perfectly fine, he wrapped the monster food up and took it outside, placing it far enough to not look suspicious, but close enough for you to hopefully find it.

He wanted to do more, and seeing you cower on the cold, hard ground with your thin limbs and lack of weight didnt really help. But he knew that you would notice. You werent stupid by any means, rather smart actually.

At least, as long as being smart didnt involve judging yourself.

Turning around and stepping onto the lit street, he snapped his fingers and in a moment, he was gone.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

 

Hunger was the first thing you felt.

You didnt even have time to open your eyes or take notice of all of the soreness in your limbs as your stomach churned, twisted and pained. But... why were you so hungry all of a sudden? You hadnt eaten any less lately, actually a little bit better if anything.

The scent in the air caught your attention and you realized that you must have been smelling exactly that while you were sleeping. Ignoring the pain and the soreness of your stiff body, you fought your way up and looked around.

It didnt take you very long to find a piece of fresh looking strawberry cake sitting there. It was completely untouched, and for a moment, your brain considered the possibility of it being far too easy to get and that it might be poisoned, but you didnt care as you dug in.

It tasted delicious. Well, most monster food did, but this one seemed especially good. It was small, but the best food you had eaten in AGES. Actually, the best youve eaten ever since... oh yeah. Ever since you nearly died and you could eat breakfast with... them...

Trying your best to get rid of the thoughts, you continued to dig through the trash for 2 more hours and actually found more than usual. Storing some of it away for rougher days and eating the rest, you sat down and began to think again. There wasnt anything else you could do, really.

You really had far too much time to think. And just as you daydreamed yourself into your own world, you suddenly found that they were there. Your imagination sparked up and you laid back against the cold wall, imagining your own perfect ending. How you would have it all, friends, food, the perfect mansion and so much more. People who cared, monsters who...

You jerked your head up. Monsters? Since when were they part of...? Oh. You just sighed as your mind just didnt seem to want to leave what had happened 5 days ago. You just hoped that that would pass soon, you didnt really want to spend the rest of your life pondering over the small glimpse of heaven that you got while in your own personal hell.

Your gaze went to the small but cozy building not too far away and you noticed that there were already a few people entering, a small group of monsters, to be exact. You stood up with a grunt and then went to sit in the same spot you had been sitting in yesterday. Watching the cafe proved to be more interesting than you had thought, and you didnt want to continue your daydreaming anyways, so you didnt have much of a choice.

You could see a girl sometimes come out and smoke for a while, and then go back inside. You could safely assume that she worked there as well, after all, more than just one employee was needed to keep a busy cafe like that running.

You just watched and waited for night to roll around once more. Suddenly you heard steps. It was just the steps of one single person, and you quickly hid as best as you could. It was most likely just someone bringing out the trash and your mouth watered at the thought of more food, but you knew you couldnt look at it until the next morning rolled around.

Why? Because it was what you deserved. Besides, the chances of being caught were too high to dig through the new trash in broad daylight. You had been forced to learn that the hard way quite some time ago.

 

 

\--------------------------------------

 

 

Your head jerked up and you felt fear and confusion coursing through your brain. You looked around frantically and suddenly realized that you were still in your observation spot. You shuffeled and moved to ease the paining feeling in your limbs.

You had fallen asleep without even realizing it! You shook your head at the thought. It seems that staying awake the entire night before hadnt been such a good idea. Two more days had passed ever since you knew that you should probably move somewhere else to be out of sight from the skeleton monster who worked far too close for your taste, but you didnt have the physical or mental strength to do so.

You stared into the direction of the cafe absentmindedly, until the loud sound of rolling thunder made you look up. A small droplet of water landed on your cheek and you whiped it away.

Shit.

It was beginning to rain and you had nowhere to hide from it. Most of the trash containers were full, and you really didnt feel like pressing yourself face first into trash and then feeling a hard lid on your back. You knew that you would stink for days after that, and you had only showered at their place.

But where else could you go? Either you would grow sick and thus very weak and possibly starve or die of dehydration, or you would have to stink for a while. You sighed and stood up, until an idea flashed in your mind. What if...?

You wondered wether monsters would be willing to throw somebody out of that small cafe when it was raining outside. Surely you wouldnt be the only one there, and if they _did_   throw you out, well, then you knew what the other option was.

Slowly and a bit shyly making your way towards the entrance of the place, you could already feel a clumped, nervous ball forming in your stomach. You had never even thought of doing something like this because humans throw anybody out that didnt buy anything no matter the weather, especially when their clothes were looking as awfully as yours were, but these were monsters.

You felt a pang of guilt as you thought of maybe this was exploiting and using their kindness, but the cold wind and the now already falling rain gave you a small push of confidence as you opened the glass door, hearing a pleasant ding above you.

The girl that you had seen a few times stood at the counter, cleaning it with a towl and staring off into the distance. You stood there a bit akwardly, unsure of what to do. She noticed you and just smiled, then continued to whipe some space on the inside of the counter that you couldnt see.

Hesitantly, you went and sat down at one of the tables, your mind racing and your thoughts a whirling mess of worries. How would you react if she came up and asked what you wanted? Would she throw you out if she found that you couldnt buy anything? What if she was calling the police just now?

Your stomach began to hurt from all of the nerve wracking and thinking as you subconsciously let your arms hold your digestive area tight. When your mind eased after a few moments, you noticed the woman looking at you with a concerned look, but you just gave a weak smile and she continued cleaning up behind the counter after a moment.

Suddenly, the same ding that had welcomed you inside could be heard from the door, and two young men came inside. They were already soaking wet, the rain outside was pouring down from the sky in buckets. They sat down not too far away and began quietly talking.

You relaxed a bit. Everything was surprisingly fine so far. Huh, monsters sure were a whole lot better than humans, as you assumed that the woman working here probably had the instructions of not sending anybody out. It wasnt too bad just sitting here and looking outside. Boy, you sure were glad that you didnt hide in some full trash container or curl up in some trash pile with some cardboard over you.

If you would have even found any.

There was the sound of a chair being pushed back as you turned your head from the glass wall beside you and looked at one of the men who had stood up. As you took a closer look at them, you noticed that he must be 19 at best, and his colleage was most likely still attending school, if not both of them were.

'Hey, what is a poor and barely dressed scum like you doing in here, huh?'

His tone was sharp and threatening, and you whinced as he took a step forward. You didnt know what to do, but you lifted your hands to sign.

*Im hiding from the rain, like you are.

You could see confusion all over his face until a smile stretched across it.

'Look at that. You cant even talk, you little shit. I dont care what your trying to tell me. Get outta here. You deserve to rot on the streets with a face like that!'

Ouch. You flinched and whinced again, quickly thinking over your options. What could you do? Jump up and run out in the rain? At the moment, that seemed like the best option, and you were about to stand up until you heard a female voice from your right.

'Since when do you two get to decide who leaves and who doesnt? Who works here, you or me? Anybody can stay here if they want to, those are the exact instructions from the owner of this place. Unless, of course, they harass others!'

Her tone was firm, confident and even threatening. She had set down the towel and was already walking out from behind the counter. Wait. Was she standing up for you? You felt a twinge of negativity in your chest as you could feel your pride sink even lower. You knew you shouldnt have time to think about something like pride, but you couldnt control that anyways.

The man laughed.

'Oh, and what is a sweet chick like you gonna do about that, huh?'

You could see her face distort in anger as she walked forward and put her finger on his chest, pushing him back.

'Im going to call the police if you dont leave _right. now._ '

The man just laughed again, taking the woman by her shoulders and pushing her down. She tried to step back, but he just leaned forward and made her trip. She screamed out a bit too loud.

Suddenly, there were hurried steps from the side and two glowing blue hearts were right infront of the two men, one of them still seated. You turned your head to see that sans was standing there, his gloved hand outstretched with a similair glow around it.

The humans both squeled out as they were lifted off their feet by an invisible force and then just kept hanging in the air, instinctively trying to gain their balance but failing miserably.

'so its you two punks that elly was talkin bout, huh? you caused this place more problems than all humans on earth have to the world all together! how about you take my ever so kind advice and _dont_. _come_. _back_. **_ever'_**

The last word was groweled out and fear was all over the two men's faces as they dropped to the ground, the blue glow vanishing. They both shuffeled up and ran out into the rain that had only gotten a little bit lighter.

You turned around and rushed forward to help the kind woman up. She thanked you and then looked at sans. She smiled and thanked him as well for getting rid of the two troublemakers. You turned towards the two and began signing.

*Thank you, both of you. It is very kind of you to let me stay here. I hope I didnt cause you too much trouble.

The woman turned to sans.

'Is she signing? Sorry, Im not too well acquainted to sign language...'

She gave a nervous smile and you just nodded, signing towards sans.

*Tell her that its fine. She doesnt have to worry.

Sans sighed and looked at his co-worker.

'dont worry, el, sign language is in our school program, actually. anyways, (y/n) over here is tellin ya not to worry bout it. oh, and she said thank you'

She nodded gratefully at sans and then turned towards you.

'Hey, its no big deal. I wanted to throw those two out into the rain like that for far longer than Im willing to admit!'

She laughed and went back to take her place behind the counter. She looked very pretty, smiling and laughing like that. She had black, curly hair and her bright skin seemed to match it perfectly- You smiled and nodded at her before you furrowed your brows at sans and signed.

*Sans, that wasnt all that I said. Am I no burden to you two?

You had to spell out each and every letter in his name, but you wanted to adress him directly. He just chuckeled, shrugged and, to your surprise sat down opposite to you. The rain outside had gotten worse again and you felt strange standing there, no knowing what to do. Sans glanced outside.

'no, your not. also, i suggest you sit down and wait some more if you dont want to be soaking wet when you go outside'

You slowly nodded and sat down. Unsure of what to do, you started to stare out of the window again, watching the seemingly endless stream of water fall to the ground.

'so, uh, (y/n), how have you been doing since ya left? everythin ok?'

Sans knew that nothing was okay and that you had the worst life one could imagine, but he wanted to start off this conversation somehow, hoping that you would ask back so he had a reason to talk.

*Im fine, thanks. What about you?

 _Perfect,_ he thought as he started talking.

'welp, pretty fine too, i guess. by the way, frisk and tori told us to keep an eye out to tell you that your welcome to stop by any time, if you like. guess they enjoyed your company'

You couldnt help but let a smile stretch on your face. You tried to press it down, but that was sheer impossible as a warm feeling of safety and excitement ran through you. They remembered you and would even be willing to talk to you more than just once!

Sans immidiently noticed and took a mental note, to be able to remember that you had an estimated problem with insecurity.

*Thank you! I dont know if I can. But maybe I could visit!

You cursed yourself for signing this. You cant just visit them! But they were so nice... And if they _did_ like somebody being around, what was the harm?

'im sure they would be pretty glad if you did. frisk loves to talk to ya. they dont have many other humans they can talk to, so...'

You felt your stomach flip in happyness again. Just thinking about sitting there and learning more about sign language with them made you smile. They were such a sweet child. His gaze drifted off for a moment before he started talking again.

'ya know, tomorrow is friday, and tori always cooks a really big meal for dinner at 5 because everybody is there. some other friends of ours always come over too. it would be the perfect chance for a visit'

Your eyes widened, not only at the thought of food, but knowing that you would get to see all of them again. They were all so kind and generous... You gulped as you thought of the being a burden thing. Would it be too much? Toriel probably had alot to deal with for the evening with everybody being there, and what if these other friends didnt like you?

'hey, why the frown? dont worry. im sure they will all be glad to see that your all up and well. and tori loves cooking. in fact, we always have so many leftovers our fridge is completely flooded with it!'

He gave you a reassuring smile and you thought about it once more. It would probably be pretty rude to still say no, and they probably wanted to see wether you had healed properly. You didnt have much of a choice, did you?

*Okay, I will come. But tell me if they dont want me there after you told them. I dont want to be a burden.

'dont worry, kid. im sure theyll be happy as ever'

There was a moment of silence and both your gazes shifted to the glass walls making up half of the cafe. The rain had stopped and the sky looked somewhat clear.

Taking it as your que to leave, you stood up and headed for the door, but not before turning back to him once more.

*Thank you again. For letting me stay. And for the invitation. Goodbye

'hey, wait a moment'

You turned around, your hand gliding back down as you had been about to reach for the door handle.

'just wanted to say that if ya feel like comin in sometime again, your welcome to stop by. we dont have that many customers to chat with, ya know. see ya tomorrow'

You nodded, smiled and stepped out, pretending to slowly stroll up the street until you could see sans dissapear deeper into the building. You took a sharp turn and headed for the small side street, quickly hiding before he could spot you.

You sat down against the wet, cold wall and buried your face in your hands.

Oh god, what had you done?

Now you _had_   to show up tomorrow evening, and it was a 30 minute walk there. You didnt have too many problems with that as you had with the fact that you liked them. You liked them all and you didnt want to stay away anymore, you wanted to hear them laugh and see them smile.

You had barely known them, but you had been able to feel their brimming, different personalities all around you as they cared for you. You had felt the way that the child hadnt wanted you to go and how they were eager to teach you everything they knew. You had felt the way that Toriel had been concerned for you and how sans tried to seem like he couldnt care less, but today proved otherwise.

You couldnt help but smile. You would allow yourself to go this one time and never again. Then you had to move as far away as possible even if it got you killed, but today and tomorrow you could allow yourself to relax. To let your thoughts roam free.

You also swore to yourself to leave as soon as you became a burden, to help them in any way possible when you had the chance to and to not leave too late and definitly not stay over night. You suddenly thought of last time you had been there.

If you had stayed in sans' room, where had he been resting that night? On the couch? The thought made you whince in discomfort while you thought of someone else giving you something and you blindly accepting it. You had said thank you, but that wasnt enough! That was never enough!

You felt your mind conflict again as your thoughts began to race against your feelings and your gut. Why were they so kind? Why didnt they want anything in return? How were they not tired of you?

Things didnt get better after a while and you got a headache. _Great,_   you thought as you sleepily looked around to find something half-way dry to sleep on. Curling up in some fabric that wasnt completely soaking wet, your worries still keeping you awake (or at least trying to), you suddenly felt something... strange.

 

**Pathetic whelp! Go and move already!**

**How can you just lie here? Just go and kill yourself already, sheesh!**

**How can you possibly think youre worth anything? Ridiculous.**

**Dont burden them you stupid little attention whore! They dont want you, their just being polite. Unlike you...**

_Dont listen to them, their wrong. They want you there and you know it! Do it for them! They want to see you happy!_

It was like among all of the voices of negativity you found one that was... kind. One that spoke with softness and reassurance. You closed your eyes and strained your ears to listen more carefuly.

_They wouldnt invite you if they didnt like you!_

You couldnt hold back a smile. The voice was soft and kind and didnt seem to belong to anyone you knew or had ever met, it was shy and quiet, but you were still able to make it out enough to hear. Had it been there all along and had it just been to quiet to reach you?

Focusing on the voice even more, you felt the others around it grow more distant and quiet as you listened to the hums and murmurs of whoever in your mind was calming you down.

You felt your tireness grow as you, for the first time in many years, you fell asleep with a smile on your lips and not tears in your eyes.

 

 

\---------------------------------------

 

 

This was the day.

It was friday and you were nervous as ever. You had been eyeing the clock in the cafe for more than an hour now and knew that you should only slowly start walking in 10 more minutes at the very best, so you paced around the small street, unsure of what to do.

You hadnt seen sans at the cafe at all today and you could assume that he had probably taken the day off or just didnt work on fridays. You looked at the clock again. Still 8 more minutes until it was 20 past 4.

After another minute had crept by ever so slowly, you couldnt take it anymore and started walking at a quicker pace than you had planned. You wondered wether it would be rude to show up early, and the answer was probably yes, but you just couldnt keep waiting like this.

While walking, you looked around at the buildings, noticing that there were far more inhabited by monsters. Or at least, thats what you assumed from all of the wide open windows. You had a few worries in your mind about wether your clothes would be fine, but you shook them away. Nothing you could do about that now.

You arrived there after 20 minutes with now having 28 minutes to spare. Sitting down not too far away and sighing in resignation, closing your eyes, wishing that you had stayed where you were for at least another ten minutes, you thought about what you had to face soon.

You had to see their faces and not get attached to them. You had to lie to them when they asked about your life or your job and you would have to not look overly sad when you said goodbye because they couldnt possibly know that you were planning on leaving forever.

For a moment, you even considered literally leaving forever after this, just walking up to some highway and running across without looking or climbing some random building and jumping head first, but you quickly dumped the option. Things will get better, you just had to wait. As long as you could wait, you could live.

A flash of blue and black made you jump up, open your eyes and look around in confusion, only to find sans standing there.

'hey, didnt think id find ya waitin here. you can come in, you know. nobodys gonna scold you for coming a few minutes early'

He chuckeled at your reaction, turned around and started to walk ahead. You quickly caught up to him and tried to hide your blushing and hot face by looking at the building to your side. How had he even been able to find you like this? You were a good few minutes of walking away and you hadnt even been sitting by the road!

You tried to just ignore your thoughts and followed him to the warm and cozy house not too far away. He didnt even have to knock since the door swung open as they approached it, Frisk standing there with the biggest smile you have ever seen a child have.

You smiled as well, greeted them in sign language and went inside with the skeleton monster leading you to the table. A chair had been added to the side opposite to the couch, leaving 9 seats.

You felt nervous and excited as you thought of the fact that there would be alot more people attending than you thought, but a loud noise from the kitchen followed by Toriel's voice snapped you out of your worries.

'Oh dear! Oh goodness... Everything is fine, I just dropped a pan!'

You insinctively ran over to the kitchen and found that not only one pan, but two more had fallen down to the floor with Toriel standing up just a beside them. You hurried to help her up and then started picking up the pans from the floor.

Frisk rushed in as well and helped you carry the big objects and then heave them on the counter. They were surprisingly strong for their young age.

'Oh! There you are, (y/n)! It is very nice to see that you could make it. Thank you for helping me'

You nodded and signed a 'youre welcome' in her direction before frisk tugged you out of the kitchen and to the table, gesturing to the couch for you to sit down. You tried to object and sit down on one of the chairs, but Frisk was having none of it.

You reluctantly sat down on one side of the couch, knowing that Frisk seemed far too determined to let you sit anywhere else. The only reason you could think of was that everybody had their restrained seat, but shouldnt you be sitting on the extra chair rather than on the couch?

Your stomach turned at the thought of somebody else having to sit on the seating place you would usualy take since you were the most recently invited guest, and somebody else would have to sit there for you.

You felt Frisk's reassuring hand on your knee and they smiled at you. You smiled back and felt a little bit better as they climbed on the chair diagonally to you, sitting on the cushion that was already prepared for them. It was one of the 'golden chairs'.

The doorbell rang and Frisk immidiently jumped down to get it, and you could see Papyrus and Asgore enter the house. Asgore spoke to Frisk while Papyrus made his way to the table, sitting on one of the chairs opposite to you, greeting you with a big smile.

'GREETINGS, HUMAN! I AM VERY GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT HERE! SANS SAID YOU MIGHT NOT COME, BUT I WAS SURE YOU WOULD! NHEH HEH HEH! IT APPEARS THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS CORRECT!'

You tried to smile back at him and nodded.

*I am very glad I could come. Yes, you were right.

Papyrus' smile seemed to grow even wider if that was even possible at this point. You could see Frisk climbing back on her chair and Asgore taking the other royal seat. Just as they sat, you saw them put down a Flower pot on the table with a huff.

You looked at it, confused, until the Flower seemed to turn around and you could see that it had a face. Being frozen for another moment, you realized that it must be a monster. You sighed in relief as the wave of shock passed and you relaxed again. The Flower mumbled something and looked back at Frisk, who gave them a serious and threatening look.

The Flower sighed and Frisk turned the pot around so the Flower monster could look at you without twisting its stem.

'Ugh, lets just get this over with. Im Flowey. Frisk said I have to introduce myself to their "new friend", so just tell me your name so I can go and sit in my chair!'

Flowey snapped at you and you were surprised at its harsh tone. It sure tried its best to look dangerous for a Flower.

*Im (y/n). Its very nice to meet you, Flowey.

Spelling out his name and your name letter by letter, you could hear Flowey grumble something again and then Frisk set them down opposite to you. Did Flowey get their own chair?

The chair wasnt made for Flowey to sit on it, and you couldnt see them anymore. Frisk seemed to look conflicted. Asgore suddenly huffed up, went over to the door and then came back with a solid looking cushion.

'Here, Flowey. This is the 'pedastol' you had wanted so badly when we were shopping'

He smiled and put Flowey on the 'pedastol' so he could look across the table as well. You could hear Flowey quietly curse under his breath and you turned to Frisk who just gave Flowey a firm look that made him stop, yet still look annoyed.

You peeked past Flowey and saw that there were two shopping bags on the floor not too far from the door. So thats where they were before they came. Sans had come down and greeted his brother quickly before sitting down on the couch just about in the middle. Toriel came in and began to set down plates with snack food, telling everyone to munch on some of this and that already while she got the main meal prepared. To your surprise, she also put down a glass with red liquid with a strange texture to it.

Sans thanked her casually and started sipping it. Noticing your look, he chuckeled.

'dont worry, i just need to _ketchup_   with what everybody has been doing so far'

The entire table groaned in annoyance and sans' smile just grew even wider. Suddenly, you smiled and began to sign to him.

*I hope it wont take until _toma-rrow!_

His eyes widened for a moment until he broke into laughter.

'oh my god! why did I never think of that one!'

You felt the other's looks on you as they wanted to see what had made sans laugh so much. You decided to clear up the confusion and signed them what you had before. There was another groan, but also a few giggles and chuckeles here and there.

You didnt usualy make puns and it took you a long time to think of any, but this time you had thought of one in just the right moment. The doorbell rang again and Frisk jumped up once more. Papyrus had started talking to Asgore while sans had just started dozing off on the couch. If you wouldnt have been so shy, you would have taken a pen from somewhere and drawn a mustashe on him.

But you shook the thought away to see who else could be coming. You assumed it was the other friends that sans had mentioned, and you saw two monsters come into the room. One looked like a sea creature, a fish to be presice. She had some casual clothing on and looked very confident. She sat down on the second last chair that was opposite to you.

After her came a small dinasour-like yellow monster in a Lab coat shyly taking the seat next to her. The fish lady spoke up in your direction.

'Hey punk! Im Undyne, and this is my absolutely cute and adorably amazing girlfriend Alphys!'

She lifted the other monster up like it was nothing who started to blush like mad.

'U-Undyne, p-put me d-down... Th-this is embares-s-sing...'

'Bullshit! Your in the middle of attention, Alphys!'

Despite her answer, Undyne set Alphys down and turned back to you, only to get a leaf of salad thrown towards her.

'Hey!'

Undyne called out across the table and stared at frisk.

'What was that for, punk?'

Frisk began to sign frantically and far too quickly for even you to understand, but Undyne jumped up in rage.

'Shit! Oh, man, again ... Does that mean, like, 2 penalties? ... Oh, come on Frisk, your being unfair! It slipped out, okay? ... Ugh. Your not having it, I get it, I get it... FINE!'

Undyne cried out a battle cry and then she ran into the kitchen. You could hear the dropping of two coins and suddenly realized that they had a swear jar in there as well. You couldnt help but snort as you tried to hold back your laughter by pressing both your hands on your mouth. Alphys expression towards you told you that you were probably protecting your own life by doing so, but the thought of such a gigantic and Warrior like monster having to donate to the swear jar was too much to bear.

A gigle escaped you and you found that Undyne could move much faster than you had thought. She was back in the living room in half a second. She stood there behind Flowey and looked at you with a killing glare that, for some reason, didnt exactly trigger your 'being threatened instinct' and just made it harder not to laugh. You could hear sans cracking up beside you as well, and her glare just got even more threatening which, in turn, just made everything worse.

You let out a laugh and soon the entire table followed. Undyne looked pretty embaressed, so you turned to her and signed.

*Sorry for that. You were introducing yourself earlier, so... my name is (y/n). Its very nice to meet you and your girlfriend. She does, indeed, look cute.

Alphys began to blush like mad again and Undyne's spirits seemed to skyrocket once more. She sat down again and beamed.

'YEAH! Shes the best in the world, and shes MINE!'

Hugging her tightly, Undyne beamed even more and Alphys returned the hug gratefully. When they both sat down again, they began talking with the others about some other topics.

'S-sorry Mettaton couldnt make it here. H-he had some really important show tonight, so... yeah, sorry'

'That is quite alright, Alphys. I am sure he will join us another time.'

'HE SURE WILL! HE EVEN TOLD ME SO!'

'yeah. he just still thinks that he hasnt _met-a-ton_ '

'Sans, that was horrible! Dont ya have anythin better, punk?'

'nope'

'Shouldnt be a surprise to you all that smiley-trashbag has nothing better to say!'

While everyone was talking, Toriel had stepped into the room.

'That is not a very nice thing to say, Flowey. Alright, here is everything. After you have eaten up, there will be Chocolate Pie for desert. So do not stuff yourselves!'

Everybody thanked her and Toriel took the only remaining place on the couch which made you wonder about the seating order again. Everybody sure sat pretty organized and it made you wonder who would be sitting in your place. You decided to ask Frisk about it.

*How come if everybody is sitting so perfectly, my place be here? Who would usualy sit here?

Frisk wanted to answer, but Flowey, who had been able to see your sighning as well, decided to do so instead.

'Normaly four-legs would be sitting here and boasting about his new shoes or how everybody loves him, so you can be VERY glad that he is not here right now. Otherwise, you would annoy me. But comparing anyone to that piece of metal makes everybody seem much better than they are'

You nodded and smiled, knowing that Mettaton was an entertainment robot very populair among monsters, less so humans. Flowey, dispite his attitude, reminded you of yourself in some situations. He was actively pushing away in trying to get everybody to hate him, but failing terribly. Or, well, tear-rib-ly. You just smiled and thanked him for the information, thinking of your horrible double-pun.

The evening went on, and from time to time, you could see Frisk casting strange glances to sans, who, for the most part, just shrugged and continued drinking his ketchup. He didnt really eat like everybody else, but you just ignored it as it wasnt any of your buisness.

You were having a hard time not gulping down everything at first, but things got better as your stomach calmed down after a few bites. The atmosphere was wonderful and for a while, you forgot that this was the last time that you were planning to see them.

You werent talking, or, well, signing much, rather listening to everybody else, but it was nice to have some company after being alone for so long. You only casually made conversation with sans who had a similair attitude to everything, not really talking unless he was talked to. Although the big smile on his face was enough to tell that he was enjoying himself as well.

It was getting darker outside, but you didnt notice the passing of time as Toriel brought in some chocolate pie. It was your first time having chocolate pie, actually, and it tasted amazing. You loved chocolate in general, and having it in a baked good was the best thing to ever happen to you.

You had three slices, even though you had been careful to wait until everybody had something. Sans had been right: There was plenty of leftover food and Toriel attempted to bring in even more, but everybody kindly refused and she laughed. Everybody began shifting chairs and you looked up in confusion. Sans had turned on the TV.

You wanted to stand up and maybe sit on the ground somewhere, but Frisk was quicker and jumped on your Lap, signing to you to stay where you were and then making themselves comfortable. You giggeled and sat down properly again, giving the child enough space to get comfortable. Asgore and Undyne moved the table out of the way, sans shuffeled more to your direction and Papyrus sat down on the couch as well, the rest sitting down infront of the couch.

Asgore began talking about the documentary about monsters that humans had made in coorperation with Alphys as he was putting the disc into the player, but you barely listened. You were so tired... Asgore turned the lights out and sat down beside the couch.

Five minutes in you were already leaning back into the softness of your seat and your eyes were about to fall closed when you realized what you were doing and decided to sit up instead. Falling asleep wasnt the best idea at the moment, it would seem rude and-

You froze as you felt something heavy against your shoulder. You turned your head to see that sans was fast asleep, partly supporting himself on your shoulder. You felt a blush creep up on your face and you could have sworn you heard a giggle from somewhere...

Looking down, you saw that Frisk was asleep as well... or at least, they looked like it. You could see the wide smirk on their face as they pretended to be napping as well. You gave them a small huff on the shoulder. You were still blushing madly as the figure beside you stirred a bit.

*Frisk, what is happening? Did you plan this?

*Yep. I asked Mettaton to not come and I even picked the movie with Asgore!

You mouthed a 'why?' in their direction as they giggled again and then winked, making your face start to burn as you covered it in your hands. Why were you blushing like this? And why did Frisk have to set this up?! This is one of the most embaressing things you could think of that could happen!

You grunted at them and gave them a playful push to the shoulder before not having any choice but to lean back and continue watching. It didnt take you long to meet the same fait as sans though since you were extremely tired as well, and this time there was no shock to keep you awake.

And, before you knew it, you had closed your eyes and were not just supporting the monster beside you, but also leaning onto him as well.

 

 

\------------------------------------

 

 

  
You blinked your eyes open as light suddenly hit your face. Looking around in confusion, you realized that somebody had turned the lights on. You still felt sans leaning against your shoulder, were holding frisk in your arms and had Undyne leaning against your leg. You didnt dare move as all three of them started to wake up.

Frisk was awake surprisingly quickly and jumped up, reaching in their pocket and you realized far too late that they had just taken a picture with their phone. Starting to blush again, you felt Undyne stir and then stand up as you tried to do the same, but couldnt move.

You felt stares on you from everywhere as you shuffeled away, your eyes wide and red still spotting your cheeks. Asgore, Toriel and Undyne giggeled at your state and you werent really sure what to do or what to say.

You tried to gaze outside of the window to distract yourself and noticed with horror that it was completely dark outside and that small droplets were falling against the glass. You were thankful that these monsters didnt have their windows open 24/7, but you had promised yourself to not stay overnight, so... you had to travel through the dark, cold and wet streets alone.

You turned to them and saw that sans had already stood up, a light aqua blue on his cheeks, but you were too panicked to properly notice. You began to sign at them in panic.

*I have to go home, I cant stay overnight. Sorry, but I cant stay any longer

You checked over the room to see wether you had left anything and wanted to go out the door, but a strong, dark cyan arm grasped onto your sholder and held you back.

'NO WAY are ya goin *hic* out theeere, punk!'

You turned and realized that Undyne was drunk... pretty drunk. You took another glance around the room and saw that the other monsters had been drinking while you were asleep. You were partly grateful for it since you didnt drink and wouldnt have wanted to deny any offers, but also terrified wether they would let you go at all.

Toriel, Sans, Frisk and you yourself looked like the only ones who werent tipsey, but you were the only one not amused by the state of all of the others. Toriel giggled as Asgore stepped across the room in a tremble, sans just chuckeled at his brother telling him that he could see spaghetti everywhere and Frisk was just smiling at everybody. You wondered wether this was a reacurring thing. Probably.

Undyne still had hold of you and you managed to shuffle away from her by walking further inside the house. She seemed satisfied and went over to Alphys who had lost any shyness she ever had and they both began making out at the foot of the couch. Sans stood up and started to quietly talk with Toriel, who just nodded and came over to you and Frisk.

'Frisk, my child, I think it is time for both of us to go to bed. Let these doofus' have their fun for the night'

Frisk nodded and they both started walking towards the corridor which held their rooms. You just stood there completely baffeled, unsure of what to do. You wished that they would have asked you wether you wanted to go with them as you watched them both vanish around the corner.

'hehe. if your gonna keep your mouth open like that, a fly is gonna fly in, ya know. i dont think the others could _beer_   that'

You turned to sans who had a smug grin on his face and an unopened bottle in his hand. Before you could sign anything, he walked past you and into the kitchen, giving you a quick gesture to follow.

Arriving in the small room, sans sat down on one of the stools and offered you the other one, but you denied his grateful offer and instead stood by the window.

'so... what about it? you want a drink?'

You shook your head and continued to stare out the window, watching the small droplets fall into the glass pane and then flow down from the gravitational pull at the vertical material.

'ya sure? oh come on. you could use one, ya know'

You looked at him and firmly signed 'no' to him, turning around once more, wondering wether that bottle was really unopened and if he really hadnt taken a sip from it yet.

'um, ya sure you wanna stand there? cuz their somethin crawlin up your _spi-ne_ '

You looked at him, confused at the wordpicking for a moment until realization hit you and you nearly screamed out. Signing frantically and asking for him to save you from this terror, he stood up, but then chuckeled.

'i could set drinking as a condition, but that would be too mean, even for me. so ill save ya if you promise to come over next week, okay?'

You didnt even think about what he was saying and probably would have said yes anyways as you nodded in panic.

'aight, hold still for a moment'

You saw him stepping up behind you and then felt a light touch as his gloved hands got your worst nightmare off your back.

'heh, its fine, you can move again. the little fellow wont bother ya anymore. hes kinda cute, actually'

You slowly turned around to see the ugliest of monstrosities crawling over his hand, clinging at the white glove for support. You let out somewhat of a scream and backed away, closing your eyes and trying to get the picture out of your head, but your imagination decided to be a complete dick at this very moment and soon you were on the verge of a panic attack.

Sans, seeing your distress, sighed, came up to the window, gently moved you aside which you quickly did by moving to the opposite corner and then let the nightmare creature out of the window. After it was done, he closed it swiftly and looked at you.

'oh geez, i didnt know you were _that_   scared of em! like, sheesh. calm down, its just some- ...hey, are you okay?'

You werent okay at all. The panic attack from earlier was fully taking action and your shuffeled pants and breaths were indicating it was going to get a lot worse. You could see him step closer, but your vision was pretty blurred from your tears and your mind didnt really care as you felt physical pain in your heart, knowing that it was beating way too fast to be healthy.

Your hands were shaking as you tried to hold your face and calm your heaving breaths, your body forgetting completely how to take in oxygen. You felt two hands hold your shoulders as you whinced while your brain filled you with even more horrifying images of your greates fear, the most disgusting and ugly creature on earth.

The panic attack was easing slowly, but it had been too much for you to take as you felt your orientation fade and darkness creep into your vision. You blacked out.

 


	3. Persevering Confidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme song: Sad Song - We the Kings

 

Your unconscious state didnt last long as you found yourself floppily sitting on a chair. You shuffeled a bit, your panic attack completely gone. You sat straight upright and noticed something towering above you.

'oh god, your awake. wow, i mean, i read about lots of humans being scared of em, but that was just ridiculous. you have a phobia from those things, dont you?'

You nodded, noticing how he avoided the term on purpose and started to sign.

*I really cant thank you enough for removing it, I feel like I would have died then and there. Yes, I do have the great fear of them. Not all humans are like that. Many.

'thats okay, i think you would rather be one to hate me for me not throwin it out the window the very second i got it off ya. and the thing with the promise... sorry bout that. shouldnt have been toying with your fears like that'

You could see that he was sincerely sorry for acting that way. He couldnt even meet your gaze as he sat down again, studying the walls like they were the most interesting thing on earth, but looking back at your hands when you tapped on the table to tell him that you started signing.

*Its okay. You didnt know at the time. Although I dont like the promise very much.

You frowned and thought of how you had to move tomorrow. By not moving, you would break two self-promises, that was more than you had broken for your entire life. You _always_   kept a self-promise no matter what, and the fact that you didnt feel much remorse about breaking them made you feel uneasy. Why did these people mean so much to you?

'welp. nobody can really force you to show up, promise or not. but we would all be pretty happy if you did. now come on. im going to join he drinking party in the living room, but you can stay here if you want to'

You knew you would be feeling regret and guilt for your entire life if you didnt show up next week or if you just in the kitchen alone.

*No, its fine. Ill come too. And I dont have any plans next week anyway.

You thought for a moment. You owed him your life only once physically, but also another time mentally.

*And maybe Ill drink something as well.

You tried to smile, but he froze and looked at you with a firm look.

'hey, im not forcin you to do anything, you know. you dont have to if you dont want to, its your decision'

You furrowed your brows. No, its wasnt your decision.

*Youve saved my life twice now and Im not ignoring that. I have to do something to at least be able to sleep at night. I owe my life to you and if you feel like I should be drinking just a tad bit, then that wont hurt me.

His eyes widened for a moment before he spoke.

'ohhh no no no no. if you think im going to allow you to do somethin like that just because i said so, your wrong. its your decision, and just because i helped you like anybody should have, you _dont_   owe your life to me'

With that, he stood up and walked off into the livingroom. Unsure of what exactly to do, you went in after him despite his words, seeing all of these kind monsters that you had known only from two encounters sit around a spinning bottle.

You got their attention when you walked in and quickly signed that you wont be joining their game, but would much rather watch. Undyne jumped up and tried to convince you otherwise, but you patiently persisted on your opinion and she eventually caught a bit of your calmness and settled down.

You sat down on the couch from where you could watch all of them look at Alphys who was the one that was questioned. Asgore was the monster questioning her and he asked something that made the room gasp in anticipation and awe, but you werent really listening. You just stared at the empty glass bottle in thought.

Sans had sat down among his friends and watched Alphys spin the glass bottle once more only for it to land on him.

You looked up, now trying to follow the game again, but still being a bit absentminded.

'Okay, its going to be a question. Here comes... Drumroll please!'

Any shyness in Alphys' voice and any stutters from before were gone completely as she looked at Undyne who started hitting her fists on the floor faster and faster. You half expected for the floor to just cave in or her arms to fall off, but when she was quick enough, she stopped and looked at her girlfriend in anticipation who took a deep breath and asked her question.

'Okay, sans. Do you have a crush on anyone?'

The entire room was dead quiet and you lifted your eyebrows in surprise. Shouldnt that be a fully normal question in spin the bottle? It was the most asked one and your gaze went to the windows again in disinterest.

When your look went back to him, you could see a bright blue color all over his face with some darker blue over specifically his cheeks and right atop where his nose should be. He was muttering something and had his hoodie over his head when a light pop told everybody around you that he had simply teleported away.

You sat there and blinked in confusion at the empty spot before you, barely noticing the looks of the others plastered firmly on you and the giggles coming from all around.

'HAH! I FUCKING KNEW IT! NGAAAAAAH!'

Undyne yelled out and decided to walk over to you to lift the couch. You quickly jumped up and away just in time as the heavy piece of furniture made its way up, nearly touching the ceiling. You watched with a gaping mouth as she held her position for a moment before setting it down on its original place. Well, they sure never had problems with rearranging furniture!

You looked around a bit and noticed their looks, making you even more confused. You sat back down on the couch as Undyne fell to the ground in her spot of the circle. You snapped your fingers to get their attention and signed.

*Why were you all looking at me that way? And why did he blush?

The faces around you broke into laughter and you were more confused than ever. You frowned. What the hell was going on? And even if he did have a crush on someone, who could that possibly be? And couldnt he just tell them, since they were all friends? He had been so eager to go and play with them, why would he run from such a simple and predictable question?

After their laughter had died down, Papyrus stood up and looked at you.

'ISSTNT IT OBVIOUSSE? HHESSS GOOAAAT A... A...'

Unable to finish his scentance, he dropped to the ground in resignition and Undyne finished it for him.

'Sans totally has a crush on you, punk! He NEVER invites anyone or does anything apart from be lazy, and then he just strolls in with you and even helps with some preparations! He was so eager to have everybody make it here, too! Except Mettaton, that is'

Now your own face was beginning to heat up and you heard some loud 'ohhhhh!'s coming from them as you blushed. Unable to take the embaressment, you jumped up and bucked it up the stairs, somehow having a feeling that sans would be in his room.

Once there, you looked at the door infront of you. You knocked, and a quiet grunt came from inside. You slowly creacked the door open and saw him sitting there at his table, his head drawn forward and still in his hoodie. He murmured something to himself and you tapped on the table after walking in a bit so you could sign, but he didnt look up.

'ugh, noooo... fuck this shiiiit... i hate human alcohol... i wont understand what youll sign with this crap anyways... ughhh, fuczkinge schitee...'

His voice was all over the place and you waited patiently for him to look up. You spotted a half empty bottle not too far away. Had he just dunked all of that down in one go on an empty stomach despite not having drunk this evening at all yet?

When he lifted his head, there was a permanent blush on his cheeks indicating that he was already pretty drunk. He really didnt seem to take embaressment like that all too well if it made him teleport to his room and get drunk instantly with no regrets whatsoever.

*Why did you do that?

You signed slowly and tried to keep yourself understandibly, and he nodded after a moment.

'shit... im not answerin that'

He said, his voice a bit clearer now.

*why not?

He whinced and put his head on the table again, so you decided to not question him further. Looking at him in a state like this after he had helped you so many times sparked some protective, near motherly instinct inside of you as your confidence grew more than it had for your entire life.

You stepped forward firmly, snatched the bottle away from him and threw it in the trash, then pushed the chair he was sitting on back and caught him when he was beginning to fall over. You were pretty sure he hadnt drunken much in his entire life if he had such severe effects from only half of a bottle. Although, who knew what was in that thing? Might be strong whiskey for all you knew.

You strained yourself to pick him up, not too surprised that he was lighter than he looked. He was a skeleton, after all. You put him on his bed, got him out of his hoodie and put the blankets on top of him. Hanging the hoodie onto the chair, you switched the lights off and closed the door quietly.

As soon as you stepped into the hallway again, your confidence was gone as quick as it came. You shivered and wondered where all of that had come from, but decided not to question it. The point was that you now had to face multiple monsters that had pretty different things on their minds. You sighed and instead decided to sit down in the hallway just below one of the windows.

You closed your eyes and thought about what had happened the past days and how you couldnt possibly fall asleep here, that you were just resting for a minute, but your brain decided otherwise.

 

 

\------------------------

 

 

A flash of bright light woke you up.

It was unpleasant and hurt your eyes as you lifted your hands to rub them. You blinked a few times and looked up to see the very pleased face of frisk, their phone infront of them. You could feel that you had a headache from leaning against the hard wall and that your neck wasnt going to thank you for this later, but you had just been so tired and hadnt felt like continuing to watch spin the bottle with the others.

You were beginning to remember last night more clearly now and saw Frisk start to sign.

*Did you drink?

You shook your head and started to stand up, slightly wobbely on your feet at first. You could feel gravity pulling you down as your sense of orientation didnt quite catch up to the sudden change and you were beginning to fall over as suddenly two familiar white gloves caught you mid-fall.

You felt them set you up on your feet and steady you as you looked into the face of the typically smiling skeleton.

*Thanks

You signed quickly and then used the wall for support. Your mind had only started recalling things from shortly before you fell asleep, and then you suddenly stopped at the thought of your sudden boost of confidence last night. What could that have possibly been?

You rubbed the sides of your head in an attempt to make sense of what your mind was telling you happened last night. You looked up, not having realized that your gaze had dropped to the floor to look at the two faces looking at you in concern. You lifted your hands, and although you were shaking a bit at first, you could communitate with them.

*What exactly happened last night? And what time is it?

Your mind was beginning to clear and you could hear somebody downstairs. Frisk signed to answer you.

*Its already afternoon. Everybody had slept over down at the couch, and we thought you left at first. Also, sans told me to get that picture. He needs it, apparently.

You could see the big smirk across their face as you turned to sans in a questioning look.

'oh my god, frisk, you swore. to not. say that!'

His face was blue again and he just turned around to go downstairs and eat. Frisk got your attention and kept explaining.

*Me and mom thought that we should let sans sleep in, but when we came up to wake him, he was just coming out of the door with the biggest hangover he has had in ages. Then he asked me to take that photo and not tell anybody about it. His hangover was gone the minute I agreed, but I had the flashlight on on purpose!

They smiled as you blushed a bit. Why would sans have wanted a picture of you? And was Undyne actually... saying the truth last night? Judging by his reaction, there was surely more to it than an embaressing assumption, but was it really like that? And if yes, then why? What could you possibly have that would make you better than anybody around you in any way?

You just shook your head in confusion and felt Frisk starting to tug you back downstairs. You followed them, knowing that there wasnt anything you could do about any decision this child set their mind to.

When you arrived there, they seated you on the couch once more. Sans wasnt too far off but sat on the far end of the couch this time. He was poking his breakfast with a fork, but wasnt making any attempts to actually eat.

Toriel greeted you and told you that Agore, Papyrus and Flowey had left for more shopping earlier today and would probably be back soon. Undyne and Alphys had to leave because of their jobs. You just nodded in understanding and dug into the morning pancakes that had just been freshly baked. They tasted so much better than from the trashdump of the cafe that...

You froze.

...

Your face started to distort in discomfort.

...

Your mind itself seemed to shiver at the memories.

...

Your expression changed more as thoughts were met with emotions.

...

Your mind snapped back to your actual life and memories of the past days came crawling back. The streets. The cold, the rain. The disgusting food, the lack of clean water. You could see Toriel's concerned look as she watched your face, but you quickly set on a forced, fake smile and continued to eat like nothing had happend.

She seemed satisfied and continued to eat herself, silence hanging over the table.

...

More silence.

The lack of sound seemed deafening as only the clatter of silverware disturbed it's perfection. You could feel your mind troubled and conflicted by it, your gut telling you that you should go. Now.

Actually, not only your gut, but also your logic mind and stomach were telling you to leave. You felt guilt dropping in your stomach as you thought of how much trouble you had already caused them.

You stood up and signed your goodbyes to them and then left for the door. There were small droplets of water falling down from the sky, but you didnt notice as you felt numb all over. You didnt feel anything, nor did you want to.

Ever.

Again.

 

 

\-----------------------------------

 

 

Shuffeling in your position, you dried your tears with your forearm as your chest twinged and pained. Rain was pouring down on you but you didnt really care, all you could think about was this feeling of numbness and pain all over you at the same time.

You couldnt stop crying, and your tears were mixing with the rain. What had you been thinking? And why was leaving them so hard for you?

You had never truly cared about anyone and you didnt really want to, either. You had seen what caring does to people... It breaks them.

It breaks them down and shatters them like glass, and it was best to not care about anything. Not even yourself. You deserved it least, anyways.

You didnt notice the two people come up to you until you felt someones leg hit your stomach. You turned over in pain, forgetting your tears for a moment. Then you felt rough human hands pick you up and make you stand up forcefully.

You could make out laughter through the rain and angry, contorted faces. Your mind wasnt properly set from your emotional breakdown yet, and all you could think of was death. If nothing really was worth caring about, and nothing really mattered, what was the point in stalling it?

Not raising a single finger to your defense, you felt pain in your stomach and people shouting at you. You didnt care. You wanted the might of silence to come and end your suffering. They probably didnt even know you were crying.

You fell to the ground at another blow and heard something about weak and pathetic, only being able to agree in silence as you lay there, curling up into a tight ball and feeling warmth trickle down from one of your arms and multiple other spots. You couldnt properly use or move your arm anymore.

You couldnt even feel the pain as numbness had you tight in its grip, not allowing you to feel anything. You didnt really care, anyways. At this point, you just wanted to wait so you could finally die. Alone and in the rain, beaten up by strangers... It was exactly the death you could imagine would be appropriate for you. Homeless and with nobody to care ab-

A blue figure appearing out of thin air cought the corner of your vision as you barely lifted your head to see a familair face. It was sans. And he didnt try to hide the fact that he was as pissed off as one could get. One of his eyesockets was completely empty while the other one had a glowing and flaring blue pupil that would give a bright yellow flame from it every now and then.

You couldnt really see well, but you heard them fly up and then get hit against the wall at your right. The thud was pretty loud, and their whailing and whincing pointed out that it must be pretty painful as well. There was another thud as the few men were hit against the wall to your left, and then your right again. After another moment of hesitation, their scarred and half broken bodies were slammed on the ground behind you.

You heard one of them shuffle a bit until a bone manifested and hit him on the head, knocking him out to make him join the others. None of them were moving as they were all unconscious. You heard the monster hurry towards you and, and as if you had turned on the lights in a dark room, the terrible numbness and deep feeling that had been pushing you down flew away completely.

You let him sit you up and wanted to sign to him, but your arm was hurting too much and still didnt work and you felt tears run down your cheeks again in a fit of pain, shock and relief. He wordlessly picked you up and you felt the worlds around you fall for a moment until you realized that you were in a completely different place.

There was warm, dry air and a completely different color scheme greeting you as you felt yourself being carried through the home of the kind monsters once more. You could hear gasps from around you and more steps, but you didnt care. You only wanted to die, and guilt of being saved once again wretched inside you as you tried to shuffle away, but the grip on you was tight and you didnt have the strength to fight against it, so you just leaned back, just gave up.

The steps of the one carrying you quickened and you wished that you would have something, anything to kill yourself with or at least hurt more to increase the pain to black out, but you were too weak to think straight or do anything at all.

You hardly noticed the change as you were laid down on something soft. You heard steps and shuffeling, moving and somebody talking, but you just slowly closed your eyes and hoped that death would be kind to you and just take you away.

 

 

\------------------------------

 

 

When you woke up, you felt pain all over your body mixing with soreness and a strange feeling in your arm. When you tried to move without opening your eyes, you realized that you couldnt move your arm at all... That was when you opened your eyes slowly and glanced over to your arm by lifting your head for a brief moment.

Your arm was bandaged up but still looked pretty bad. You couldnt focus on it for long though as your neck began to hurt and you had spotted somebody across the room peacefully drifting off on a chair not too far off. You tried to move enough to stand up, but just then you heard steps, shuffeling and groaning as somebody stepped up close.

'dont move like that yet, (y/n). you have a fever, your arm is in pretty bad shape, you have a few other broken bones and you had a few milder wounds, but tori fixed those up with her magic. your arms isnt going to be better until a few days later, but then it should be good enough to be healed as well as everything else... just rest for now. you need anything to drink?'

You didnt know how to say anything, so you just nodded, hardly thinking. Sans rushed off and left you alone for a moment. You thought about the fact that you owed your life times three now (Yes, the incident with that spider [shiver] counted) and grunted at the thought of being saved again. Why did he save you over and over again? Why didnt he just let you die?

You sighed. There had already been no way in hell that you could have payed him back for the first savior mission, but now your deed was just ridiculous. You had to get out of their lives as soon as possible... you promised yourself that the moment you would step out of this house, you would just walk along random streets that you didnt know, get yourself lost, then just run in some random direction and hopefully be as far away as possible by the time you were too tired to keep walking.

You set on this plan and watched sans come back with a glass of water. Actually seeing the liquid reminded you of how thirsty you really were and he sat you up carefully and let you drink by letting you hold the glass with your other hand yet still supporting it a bit with his hand. You wondered why it was always in a glove for a moment before just enjoying the cold water in your throat.

When you were done, he set the glass down for you and let you lie down again. You didnt complain at the pain and just lied there with your thoughts drifting off, not knowing how to thank him for rescuing you. You made yourself a mental note to somehow thank him for what he had done for you after you could at least sit upright without support.

Your mind was beginning to eat you up from the inside as you thought about how much they had all helped you so far and guilt was starting to physically make your head hurt. That happened often enough, so you werent surprised.

 

You managed to drift in and out of sleep from time to time, not ever really finding rest because of your nagging mind. It just didnt want to leave you alone today, and your thoughts were filled with nothing but negativety. Once in a while Frisk or Toriel would come up and bring you some food. You gladly accepted it since you had nothing else you could do, although you did realize that sans kept asking them to bring more from time to time. Sans didnt leave the room at all.

Frisk often came into your room and started teaching you more sign language, even though you couldnt use it yet, they signed that it would be good to start learning anyways. You agreed and did your best to memorize the hand movements and patterns.

After a day and a night of this procedure, sans told you that he had to leave. You were able to sit up on your own again and use your other arm, but your mainly functionable one was still in a bind since it seemed to have been worse than they thought after Toriel had checked you over.

Neither of them spoke much to you, and you didnt have any way to answer them anyways, but you had been patiently waiting for a chance to say thank you in some possible way, so when sans left your room for once and you were alone, you gave a sigh.

He had been there 24/7 for more hours than anybody should be awake at all, and you were kindof glad that he would be probably resting somewhere else for once. Fighting your way up into a seated position, you took a quick glance around and looked for what you had seen from the corner of your vision only once...

There it was. Slowly and carefully using your weight to move to the small nightstand that had been set up close to you, you grabbed the noteblock and pen tightly and sat back to your original position. Placing the notebock on your lap, you started writing.

The words were indistinctible at first because you werent used to writing with your other arm and on a shaking and moving surface, but the two words you scribbled down over and over eventually grew understandable. After the page was full, you put the pen aside and flipped the page up to start writing again.

You couldnt really know how long you had been at this, but when your arm was feeling like it could fall off at any moment and your eyes kept closing, you finally put the noteblock aside and layed down, drifting off into your once more restless and light sleep.

 

 

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When you woke up again, it was because you heard the clicking noise of the door being opened. Opening your eyes and turning your head to look at your visitor, you saw Toriel standing there with her kind smile and caring glance.

'Dear, (y/n), I would like to see how the healing process has come along. May I look?'

You sat up quickly and nodded, still a bit sleepy from just being woken up. The monster walked over to you and began checking over your wounds carefully, magic lingering here and there as she healed a few of them. She stepped back after a moment and sighed.

'Alright. Your arm is in the fitting condition to be healed now. It may sting a little, but it shouldnt really hurt'

You just nodded again as you felt her step closer, secure your arm with her gigantic paws and then use an indescribable amount of magic at once as she did her very best to mend you back together. It didnt hurt, but it was still a very strange feeling to know that your bones and flesh were being mended together by pure energy and willpower.

When she was done, you lifted your hands and started to twist and move your arm to see wether everything was truly healed. It was. It felt like nothing had ever been wrong with it in the first place and you signed a thank you to her.

'It is alright, no need to thank me. But you are very welcome, my child. I shall bring you dinner now'

She gracefully stepped out of the room only to return a minute later with a plate filled with spaghetti. She calmly explained that Papyrus had helped her make it, and you nodded, signing a thank you again and then taking the food to eat.

Toriel wished you a good meal and rushed off, murmuring something about royal assignments and her picking up the plate later on. You just nodded as she headed out the door.

The food was, as usual, monster food, and tasted absolutely amazing. It didnt take you long to be finished, and when you were, you layed back down to sleep, but for some reason couldnt. There wasnt any more pain or exhaustion pulling you down, and since Toriel had healed your wounds completely now, all you wanted to do was get up and walk around a bit. You were tired of lying in this one bed for so long.

Standing up proved to be more difficult than you expected. Your limbs ached and you felt weak, nearly tripping over as soon as you tried to take your first step. But you were able to catch yourself just in time and continued trying to make some progress.

For the past days of the healing process, you had been thinking... a lot. The plan on leaving didnt seem too great anymore, but you still knew you had to. There was this deep feeling within you pushing you forward, making you stand up after every time that you tripped, getting you to try again and again.

**Just be patient.**

It took you longer than you would have thought to reach the stairs, and you huffed out a sigh of relief as you took the first steps. It was easier than you expected. You were still a bit wobbely on your feet when you arrived in the living/dining room, but you could walk relatively normal and take a good look around.

You could hear some quiet shuffeling and walked to go around the couch, seeing sans slowly waking up. You werent quite sure what to do, and you still felt like you had to leave. Spotting the door being unlocked from the inside, you went over to it and just wanted to turn the handle when a deep voice sounded behind you. Did he just teleport again?

'...aaand where do you think your gonna get in your state? what, will i have to save you again to get you to stay longer?'

How often did he scare people like that? You flinched and your hand dropped from the door knob so you could turn around and look at him. His usualy brightly glowing white pupils were now noticably dimmer, and you were unsure what exactly that meant, but it sure did look intimidating. You gulped and began to sign as an answer.

*I cant stay here. I have to go.

He sighed, his stature relaxing a bit and he took a step back, motioning for you to go and sit down and after a moment, you did so shyly, exhausted from the standing and all of the walking from before. He was right. You werent really going to get anywhere in this condition, and you felt embaressment sink into your chest as you felt your stupid pride swelling up and trying to think of something to do to regain your honor.

Frankly, there wasnt anything you could do to seem any more or less weak than you, for a fact, already were.

'why? tell me, because i honestly dont understand. _why_   do you have to go? _why_   cant you stay?'

You sighed, slumping back into the chair a little more, thinking of an answer. You werent planning on telling him the actual reasons. You didnt want to burst into tears right here and now, or else he might get annoyed and throw you out all together. You flinched at the thought that you depended on all of their care right now.

*I just have to, okay? Please let me go.

He shook his head, walking up to the couch and setteling down on it.

'pfft, you aint going nowhere. and im not taking an _I just have to go_ thing. tell me a good reason or stay'

After a short moment, he stood up, locked the door and teleported away for a moment, and then right back, settling down on the couch lazily once more.

You knew that he was being pretty stubborn, and what nagged you the most was that you couldnt do anything about it. You depended on them fully and were unable to call somebody else for help, yell, scream or even put up a fight at all. Besides, they had magic, and you had heard that that was exactly the point where humans got scared.

And if full grown, trained and smart, powerholding adults were getting scared by it to the point where they protest and want monsters to go back underground again, you were pretty sure that it was not something to be messed with.

But you still had to try. Besides, you didnt know much about sans. You didnt know too much about any of them, really, but sans had caught your attention, especially with all of the helping he has done. You felt the urge to test his limits, to see his bounds... to try and solve the puzzle of what was going on in that head of his... to feel his past with your senses and be able to guess his actions and moves...

You frowned at your own thoughts.

You hated the way you thought sometimes. Or, well, you hated a lot of things about yourself, but that wasnt the point. You knew that you would feel terrible if you _did_ do what this strange part of you was urging you to do, but you had to know how to at least be around him. You may not be in the best situation to test limits, but you had to know more about him if you wanted to leave... or maybe even just st-

**You have to leave. You have to, you cant stay here. Stop thinking about it. Stop even considering it... Dammit... You cant stay here. Its TOO nice. Its TOO good, especially for you... stop it.**

You flinched inwardly at the voice and snapped your fingers once which made sans jerk up a little to see what you were signing.

*You cant just keep me here because you want to. I have my own things to do, you know.

He seemed a little surprised and furrowed what was the equivalent of human eye brows, and you took a sharp inhale, half expecting him to lash out at your words, but he just calmly answered.

'oh, not just i, but _we_   can keep you here. you wont run off like that again. at least consider staying for a while longer for once. you were enjoying yourself so much, why do you always want to leave so badly? besides, your too weak to go anywhere'

Your mind was getting into the spirit of testing the grounds more than you had planned to and you found yourself already getting a feeling to his word picking and choice of answer. You wanted to shake this strange security off, but it was useless.

**Its creepy when you do that, finding stuff out about people by listening to small talk, or any talk at all! Its freakish. Is this really your thanks for them rescuing you?**

Your inner voice eventually beat your curiosity and your progress, and you gave up trying to bring up arguments. He was right, but he didnt know everything. But that was alright. You would get out of here eventually, one day or two wouldnt hurt. You were patient and mind set on leaving even if it took years. You just had to wait and prepare, and try some normal methods first.

*Fine. I will stay one more day, but this time Im sleeping on the couch. I cant just take your room away from you like that.

'aw come on. dont just go settin conditions like that. besides, the couch is fine for me. i dont like my room much anyway'

For some reason, being around him made you relax a bit more and you raised an eyebrow with the face expression of 'Oh really' at him. He chuckeled.

'welp, looks like you can see... _right through me?_ '

Despite the relatively serious moment, you had to crack a smile and snort. You couldnt just frown all the time with a terrible pun in the absolutely wrong moment like that, especially since it was so easy to get you to laugh. You tried to push it down but failed miserably.

*Dont distract me with your puns. I will stay on the couch, I have already caused you enough problems.

He looked at you for a moment and you were worried you had said something wrong, but it just seemed as though he had been in thought.

'if you really want to, fine. you will have to ask tori or paps about movin the sheets though. they will get home at seven, i think, so you got another hour to do what you want to. i have someplace to go too'

He seemed to try to sound casual when adding the last part, but his expression seemed a bit off as he did start to walk towards the door, carefully locking it twice from the outside. You sighed as you stared at the door, wondering.

But what exactly were you wondering? A lot of things. Why did they care? Why did he care so much? Why didnt they accept your help even though you owed your life to them? Why did humans hate monsters so much if all they did was be nice to everyone?

You felt your head beginning to pound again and you closed your eyes with a grunt, trying to calm your own thoughts down. Hesitantly, you turned on the TV and decided to just try to forget that he had just locked you up in here without even bothering about your own opinion about this.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

 

The TV wasnt very entertaining, and after about an hour, you were glad to hear someone opening the door with their keys. You shut the device off and noticed that there were loud voices coming from outside, but you couldnt make them out until the door swung open to reveal Toriel, Papyrus and sans entering.

'...YOU THINKING? YOU CANT JUST DO THAT, SANS!'

Papyrus' tone was surprisingly serious, although it kept some of his cheery and loud attitude still.

'Sans, I do not think that this is the best idea. You should ask her. You must understand that she has her own decisions to make, and that you cannot make them for her'

'TORIEL IS RIGHT, BROTHER! I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN, IF THAT HELPS, BUT YOU CANT KEEP HER LOCKED UP AT OUR PLACE LIKE THAT!'

They had entered the room and didnt seem to notice you, so you just quietly sat there and realized that sans must have wanted to get them on his side so they would help him, but clearly, that went differently than he had expected.

They were continuing to lecture sans, and after a while, his gaze was fixed on yours. You gulped. Was he mad at you? Probably. You should have just rolled with it.

**Look what mess you got him into! This is your fault. Couldnt you have just-**

You interrupted the voice and shoved it aside. You had to focus on different matters now. The feeling in your chest lingered, paining and telling you to go. That you _had_   to go. Slowly getting up to not rise any suspicion, you-

Well of course all three of them would turn towards you at once. Of course. Your typical luck.

You sighed and began signing towards them.

*I do believe I have to go now. It was very nice being here with you and I am very grateful for how kind you were to me, but I have to go. Maybe we can meet later on.

Your last sentance made both Toriel and Papyrus smile widely, and the goat monster came over to you to guide you to the door. You cast a last, apologizing glance at sans, who just stood there, frozen completely in his tracks, and then you already heard the door opening. It was after-noon, and the sky had cleared from all of the spring rain for a while. The sun was shining and you could hear some birds chirping in the distance.

You tried your best to smile at them as you stepped outside. Your heart ached and pained in your chest, but you ignored it. Just as you wanted to turn around to wave goodbye at them, a low growl sounded from inside. Sans hadnt been physically moving, so he must have teleported. Point was, he was standing where you could see him from outside, and he did not look happy.

You were pretty sure that he wouldnt actually do anything though as you shyly lifted your hand to wave. Toriel hadnt noticed the empty-socketed monster behind her yet.

'Goodbye, (y/n). I hope you can visit us again soon!'

Her voice was so cheerful, so caring and loving... Your stomach churned as you thought of the fact that you had to leave forever. Right now. You had been putting this off for way too long anyways, it was about time you faced all of the bad karma you had built up by letting them help you and by not being thankful enough for their help.

*Thank you again for all of your care. Goodbye, every-

You couldnt finish the sign you had started when suddenly a strange pull of energy wrapped around your entire being, putting a strange sense of pressure on your chest. Looking down, you could see a small, dark blue heart floating closely to your chest, glowing brightly.

You felt fear inside you as you thought of what this could mean, but you didnt have much time to think it over as this energy tugged at you like a pupeteer at his puppet strings and you found yourself being lifted off the ground and moved back inside with a flash.

You could hear the door shut and a yell from Toriel, but your fear and shock for the moment put you completely frozen. Only when you were set back on the ground, still trembeling, were you able to think clearly again. You could see Toriel standing threateningly close to sans. She turned and rushed towards you as soon as she saw you on your feet.

'My child, are you hurt? Oh dear... You must be very scared right now, but I can assure you that everything is fine. You are physically alright. Everything is okay. Shhh'

Listening to Toriel calmed you down. She hugged you, then picked you up and went to the couch with you, setting you on her Lap. She started rocking you and humming, and you felt something click in your head as you had just known there was more of a mother in her than a Queen. It was surprisingly comfortable and you relaxed for a moment before catching your thoughts.

'Are you alright now? Can you breathe steadily again?'

You nodded and she gently set you down to sit on your own, stood up and whispered a quiet apology to you before walking over to sans.

He stood there, one eye ablaze in brilliant golden and sky blue hues and flames, his hands out of his pokets, and even though Toriel was huge (Sans was a tad taller than you, and Toriel was twice as tall as him) he didnt flinch or even move an eyesocket as she approached him. And then, for the first time in your entire life, you heard Toriel truly _yell._

'SANS! I DO NOT THINK THAT YOUR ACTIONS WERE ALRIGHT AT ALL! YOU CANNOT ALWAYS SIMPLY HAVE THINGS YOUR WAY, AND I AM VERY DISSAPOINTED IN YOUR RUTHLESS REACTION. I WILL SURELY GIVE YOU SOME SORT OF PUNISHMENT FOR THIS AND HAVE UNDYNE KNOW ABOUT IT AS WELL. I AM SURE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS WILL NOT BE HAPPY TO HEAR WHEN I TELL THEM! ...Puh. That is all. Now, would you care to explain _why_   you did that?'

Despite her calming down to the end of it, her tone was still sharp and demanding, and you realized that you were hugging yourself and felt fear in your chest out of instinct from hearing her yell. You didnt think that she would have something like that in her, not after finding her so caring all the time.

Sans, proving to be much braver or maybe better at hiding his feelings than you thought, was completely unfazed and stood there as if he were a head taller than Toriel, even though that clearly was not the case. His eye blazed up in anger as he spoke.

'oh, i see. you want me to let her go out there again just to keep rescuing her from her own kind? because guess what, that isnt happening. you know that i just cant watch when people get themselves into trouble and danger because their stubborn'

You blinked at him a few times, completely dumbfounded. It wasnt the fact that he found that you were stubborn, you probably were, and you didnt mind him thinking that, although he probably wasnt one to talk. But the fact that he kept a challenging, nearly threatening and confident tone the entire time despite a two times bigger monster just having yelled her soul out at him was something you would not have expected. But he seemed to respect all of the monsters quite alot, so why would he be like this now?

'Hmpf. What makes you think that (y/n) will get herself hurt like that again? It was simply two bad accidents that happened to be in a row. Maybe (y/n) can take a different way home next time, or simply try to not be out after dark. It is still up to her'

Her tone was persistent and still quite intimidating, but sans didnt even seem to notice how close to a confrontation he was. They both seemed to have forgotten that you were in the room. You took a look around to see that Papyrus was no longer there and you had to wonder where he went. Did Toriel yelling scare him off, maybe? Looking back to the two, you were wondering how they were controling themselves so well. Humans would have jumped at one another's throats a couple minutes ago.

'yeah. right. when she will be walking home. you know, _if she had a home to walk back to!'_

The moment you heard that you gasped and hurt spread and stung in your chest. He had known. He had known all along and maybe even seen you a few times there already. Thats why he tried to get you to eat more and thats why he was so caring and reluctant to let you leave. Maybe he even had guessed that you wanted to leave forever.

You sniffed and a quiet sob came out of you. You wouldnt have really noticed as much if both of the monsters wouldnt have turned towards you in an instant. You tried to wipe everything away before they could see, but it was too late.

When they came over in a sort of truce, you had already pressed everything that had tried to come up back down again, so you didnt have to fear that you would start crying again. They both were avoiding your and each others gazes, trying to look away and hide their faces as Toriel set you in her Lap again. Sans sat next to her on the couch, looking at you every once in a while but avoiding your look. There was a pressing silence in the air.

You began to calm down again slowly and your breathing went back to normal. You still didnt want to leave Toriel's embrace though. It was warm and comforting, probably like a mother should be...

You nearly started crying again as emptyness hit your chest, and you could see sans' eyes dart up to look at you, but you just wiped everything away again and put up a smile, hoping that he would just not care or ignore it or just brush it off.

Finally, after a lot more threatening silence, Toriel spoke up.

'I-I... I still do no think you did completely right, sans, but... It was not a necessety to yell at you in such a way. I am sorry. And I should not have scared you either, my child, you had no fault and I should have had more respect and have listened instead of bursting open'

You pulled a bit away from her after a short moment and begin to sign.

*Its okay, I can understand why you were angry. I dont know what came over me that I was suddenly all crying, but its fine, really. There is nothing to apologize for as you only wanted the best.

After a moment, you added,

*But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you. And sans, too, even if he has yet to say his sorrys.

You turned towards him and could tell that he had been watching closely. Toriel's voice sounded from beside you.

'Thank you for forgiving me, (y/n), I am glad I did not scare you too much. I guess I just let my instincts get the best of me. If you would still like to leave, that is fine. Although... I am truly concerned for you if... sans is right. You do not have a home? How come?'

You just shook your head, not wanting to answer the last part.

Then she turned her head towards sans and gave him a firm and strict look, to which he sighed and started talking as well, but at the same time putting his hoodie up.

'yeah, i guess i should... say sorry too. it... was a bit rushed of me to just blurt out like that, and i probably should have talked instead of... you know. if, uh, ya really wanna leave...'

He trailed off slowly, his gaze shifting around the room and he looked hurt for a moment. You signed him an 'I forgive you too. I wont be leaving' as soon as he turned around again. He put up a bright smile, somehoe knowing that you didnt lie this time.

'thanks, (y/n)'

He had a tendancy to not talk much, and it was alright with you. After all, you didnt talk at all, so you really werent one to complain. You couldnt hold back a small yawn that came out of your mouth and you nuzzled yourself against Toriel tighter. She giggled.

'Well, I see that you are quite tired, (y/n). Should I bring you upstairs so you can rest?'

Suddenly remembering earlier, you lifted your head and signed that you wanted to be on the couch today so sans could have his room, since he had to sacrifice it for so long. Toriel was a bit surprised, but after you insisted, she gave in and began preparing the couch for you.

When they were all gone to their rooms, you found yourself a brush and looked into the reflection of one of the windows as you tried to get your hair into an okay state. You had been thinking about making it look better for some time now, and now that you were staying, you had to look okay.

When you had finally laid down, your face turned in the direction of the door, you had to smile to yourself. Toriel acted like... a mother. She even called you 'my child' sometimes, but you usualy didnt think much of it. But she still cared about you a lot, and you felt warmth in your chest at the thought.

You had decided to stay. The feeling that told you to get the fuck out of there as quickly as you could was still there, but there was also another feeling there. One that told you to stay, that you would be loved and cared for here, and that they wouldnt mind at all. It would probably even make them happier, especially Frisk.

The evening had been successful after all. You closed your eyes and relaxed, and it didnt take you as long as usual to fall asleep.

 

 

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_You woke up, pain scorching through you. You frantically looked around and felt panic in your chest as you, for some strange reason, believed that there was somewhere extremely important you had to be. Standing up, you saw blood and white, but stained bandages fall to the ground._

_You didnt feel much pain, but it was uncomfortable. Regardless, you ran out of the room that seemed more and more like a hospital to you, until you bust open the door only to feel like your teeth were falling out. Stopping and beginning to gag, you saw them splutter on the ground._

_Looking around, you saw nurses, doctors, but for some reason also normal people and scientists walking around. You were in a busy New Yorker street. They all stopped, looked at you and started laughing. You looked down on yourself and felt like crying. Were you... naked?_

_You tried to cover yourself and broke down on the ground crying, just giving up as their laughter filled your ears, as they mocked and began to kick and hit you. You felt like dying as you saw your own blood being spilled all around you and started screaming. And you felt like you still had somewhere urgent to be and you were missing it._

_Not out of any particulair reason, you suddenly found strength, pushed the surprisingly very low weight people aside and ran. You heard their shouts, but you just ran and ran and ran._

_And just when you hid behind the corner of a house looking similair to the one of your monster friends, believing to be free and safe, you heard groans behind you. Terrible sounds coming from just behind the house, the place you had wanted to call your new home. you were terribly panicked and knew you had missed some appointment or a meeting or so, you wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry from shame._

_You stood up and couldnt explain yourself why you ran towards the sounds and looked around the corner only to find a half alive zombie like creature there. It began yelling at you, its face distorting, and you screamed and ran. But you kept tripping and crawling and then more and more living dead came from all around. You found yourself crawling through the dirt of a graveyard with the tombs only writing out your name._

_They were shouting, the voices and their noises were filling in all of your senses as you tried your best to get away, but you were only cowering on the ground and shouting for them to stop as you began feeling yourself slowly and tediously being torn apart. Every limb, every bone were crushed, stretched and then discarded. You felt their rotting hands full of disease on your shoulders, your neck and back and you screamed out once more._

_Looking up to the sky in a short motion, you suddenly realized it was... yellow?_

_Wait._

_The sky isnt yellow!_

 

 

Letting out a scream, you jumped up and found yourself on a quite comfortable, green couch. After taking a moment to calm down and look at your surroundings to be sure that you were fully awake, you tried calming yourself down with some breathing exercises.

Then you looked around once more, squinting your eyes, and held your breath to listen for any noises that might indicate that somebody woke up from your screaming, but there was nothing but silence. You let out your breath in a sigh of relief and wanted to lay back down and go back to sleep despite you still shaking in memory of your midnight terror, but then you suddenly heard a loud, muffeled crash.

Shooting up and jumping into a standing position, you looked around and tried to remember where it came from. A strange feeling of dread hung in the air, and it was coming from the source of the noise. You started walking around slowly, and the sound of something getting hit once was enough.

You started running upstairs, ignoring your own fears and your nightmare and stopped once up. What room did the noise come from? Shuffeling at the end of the corridor told you exactly where: sans' room. Slowly and carefully approaching it, you turned the door handle and opened it just a crack only to find the room filled with a dangerous yet at the same time remarkably beautiful blue light.

You wanted to call out to him, but you didnt dare as you saw what state he was in. He was tossing and turning violently, his magic filling the air and managing to sometimes catch onto objects and fling them across the room. Just then, a lamp was making it's way through the air and you jumped up and caught it out of pure reflex. Clenching the object tight, you saw that it was the smaller lamp with orange light that had been on the table.

Taking another look around, you set the piece of furniture down and saw that the other lamp had been what had caused the first crashing noise you heard. There was glass all over the place where it broke and the chair that had been at the desk looked damaged damaged. You suddenly understood why the room had no decoration objects and there was so sparce furniture.

Wanting to step closer, you accidentally hit the lamp and it started glowing a bright orange. It was much brighter than you thought it could be, and looking at it had a similair effect of staring into the sun. You stumbled back and saw that the magic that hung everywhere was backing away from the light.

You knew what you had to do.

Picking up the lamp and managing to find a scale for the adjustment of brightness, you set it on maximum, squinted your eyes and started to walk forward, seeing the magic back away more and more until the air was clear and the strange pressure was completely gone. Setting the birghtness down and seeing that the magic was gone, but sans was still tossing and sweating while letting out supressed whimpers, you put the lamp down and slowly walked over to him. He was still emitting a blue glow from his body under the sheets.

Not exactly knowing what to do, you wondered wether you had done right. What if he would be mad at you once he woke up? What if-

Before your worries could start clouding your head, you heard a grunt beside you and suddenly felt extremely guilty for hoving wanted to just sink into your own thoughts while sans was clearly having a nightmare. Reaching out, you tried to shake him by his shoulders, and at first, he seemed to fight back more, but after patiently keeping on shaking him gently, he slowly came out of his nightmare state and jumped up when he suddenly awoke. The room went relatively dark because of the absence of his magic.

He was panting, sweat on his forehead (how ever that may work), and he started looking around with the black of his eyes widened and panicked. You wondered wether he was in a proper state to understand sign language, just when you saw him relax and give out a light sigh.

'(y/n)? what are you doing here? what ha- ...i had a nightmare, didnt i?'

You were unsure what to do and signed.

*Yes. You had a pretty bad one, and I didnt know what to do, but it was not wrong waking you, right?

He chuckeled, any tension he still had leaving his face expression and then he let his look go around the room. You were sitting on his bed, your hands by your stomach, and he was lying in his bed with the blanket still covering the majority of him. He seemed to have a t-shirt on, you couldnt tell any more in the dark that now covered the room.

'nah, thanks a lot for wakin me, actually. but how did you know what to do?'

You were a bit confused, and then realized what he was saying. You didnt know exactly yourself. You just had a reaction, a reflex maybe?

*I dont really know. I just noticed that the lamp got rid of any overdue magic in the room when it was on, and then I started waking you up.

'its okay. thanks again. that was uh... a pretty bad one, actually. i usualy have one of the lamps on so i wont cast magic while im asleep, but this time my magic was strong enough to knock it over'

*Its okay, Im glad I could help you. Are you sure you are alright now?

He nodded clearly, and then let his gaze trail off again before refocusing it on you again.

'why were you up at this time of the night? its like, 1 am. did that wake you up?'

He had pointed his head towards the shattered floor lamp when he said 'that', and then looked at you expectedly once more.

*No, I had a Nightmare of my own, actually. Nothing bad though, really.

'hm, nah, im not buyin it. i can tell your lying bigtime, pal'

You were surprised by his serious tone and felt a little embaressed for being caught lying to him like that. But what else could you have signed? You didnt want him to worry about you, and he clearly had the worse nightmare. And why should he even care in the first place?!?

*Im sorry I lied, I just. I dont want you to worry about it. It wasnt worse than yours.

'hey, if it was barely _anything_   like mine in some degree, it _is_ worth worrying about'

*What was your dream about, then?

He hesitated for a moment before speaking.

'if i wont go into details, there was... a lot of death, blood and it was just scary in general. so what was yours about?'

*Oh, nothing big, as I said. Not as bad as yours.

'oh come on, quit it, pal. i can tell there was a lot more to it'

You didnt want to lie to him, but you just automatically told everybody you were fine when they asked, it had become an instant and quick reaction you didnt even think about. And you didnt think it would be best if you told him. But if he could sense or see you lie, then how were you going to tell him that it was fine when it kindof wasnt?

 

 


	4. A glimpse of the start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme song: Get me out - No resolve

*Im sorry for lying, its just an automatic thing, I think. Can I just say that I dont want to talk about it?

'just give me a general thing. and tecnically, your signing about it'

You sighed. He wasnt going to give up on this, and you apparently couldnt lie to him... No wonder he tried to stop you from leaving and only seemed even more dreaded when you said that you would see them soon, he had seemed to sense something was up.

*I just dont want to tell you because Im afraid you'll worry, and I cant lie, either. Sorry for that again. It was an instant reaction, I didnt mean to-

He cut you off by letting his hand hold one of your wrists so you had to stop signing.

'its okay. but ill probably worry more if i dont know, so just some general stuff, okay? 

You slowly nodded and suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, saw that his hand was... odd. It was much more like a human hand just white and made of something different, but the thing that bothered you the most was a handplate stuck to it. It was made of dark, but strong looking metal and had unreadable inscribtions on it.

He noticed your look and quickly pulled his hand back, looking away.

'i-i... lets not talk about... that thing, okay? just tell me about your nightmare'

You could see that he was touchy for the subject, so you just let things be and thought of what you could tell him, and what exactly it had been. It took you a moment to remember.

*Well, I remember being injured in a hospital, but I had somewhere real important to go, so I jumped up and then all of my teeth fell out for some reason. Then there were angry people chasing me, but I got away from them only to have the ones awoken from death be after me...

Your hands were shaking. Dont cry. Not now, not here.

*...and...

You were shaking and you felt a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You sat there for a moment before you could lift your hands again to sign.

*...and they chased me, but all I could do was trip and fall and then they started tearing me apart, ripping me to pieces slowly, tediously stretching everything out. They touched me everywhere and when I saw that the sky was actually yellow and I realized it was just a dream, I woke up.

You sniffeled and tried to get rid of the water in your eyes by whiping them away with your sleeve, yet they came right back and you tried to hide your face and felt the hand from your shoulder go away. Instead, gentle hands took you by your wirsts and put them down. You looked up to see sans there, you felt your face scrunch up from tears and then felt him pulling you into a warm hug.

You accepted it, hugging back and crying into his shoulder. He kept calming you down and you pushed away your pride and your closed off heart, just letting yourself grief for a moment. You silenced your voices and just enjoyed having somebody being there for you for once.

After you calmed down enough to stop crying, you enjoyed the warmth for another moment before pulling away. Your heart felt like it was always missing a piece, but now that piece was firmly in place and you felt much better. Whiping away the last tears, you began to sign.

*Thank you. I think I needed that a lot more than I thought. 

'yeah, i guessed. no problem though. you did help me with my nightmare after all'

*Yes, but you also saved my life three times, so you cant put that in perspective.

'wait, three times? wasnt it just... twice?'

*The rescue in the kitchen from that biest counts.

'a biest? what do y- oh. hahaha! oh my gosh, thats what you call a biest? sheesh. you really dont like those guys, huh?'

*Its not that they are disgusting in what they do, but they just look really really ugly.

'pfft! but, uh, you do know there are spider monsters too, right?'

Your face froze for a moment and sans laughed. 

'you should see the look on your face right now! but dont worry. their by far not as ugly as your worst and greatest enemies'

You had to laugh a bit too, the atmosphere was quite nice. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness and you were sitting on the bed properly now, sans was still in his spot and you could see that he was indeed wearing a white t-shirt. 

There was a nagging feeling in your mind telling you to do something else but just sit around here and talk, and you could tell that the voices in your head wouldnt be pleased at all at your relaxing and having fun.

You sighed and felt like you didnt want to leave or get up from your seated position at all, but you knew that somebody had to clean up those dangerous shards, get the chair back in place, see if it was completely broken or still worked, and you were definitly not letting sans do all that.

So you stood up and saw sans give you a strange look you couldnt quite fit in place, signed to him that you will clean up and that he can rest again, and went downstairs to get a dustpan and brush. You found them in the kitchen, quickly picked them up, and when you came back, you found sans lying there fast asleep, his body slowly lifting and sinking every now and then.

You tried to be quiet while you made the room safe again, and it took you longer than expected to get everything in place. When you were done, the clock read 2:12 am and you went down and fell asleep on the couch immidiently.

 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

 

You felt a strange push at your side and groaned as you turned around and opened your eyes to sleepily look around the main room, with a familiar hooded figure standing just a few feet away. It was still dark. You felt your usual strength rush through you and you sat up to look at him and sign, wide awake.

*What is it? Its still dark.

You were a bit irritated from being woken up like this, but the skeleton monster simply put his finger over his strange white lips and made a motion with his hand to follow. You sighed and signed to him that you would come. You followed him, curious, and he started walking outside.

You were surprised, but you didnt object and just went after him. Apparently what he had to show you was important if a lazy monster like him would stand up at, what, 4:30 in the morning when it's still partly dark? 

There was a cold wind blowing through the streets and you shivered, but you clenched your teeth together and wouldnt let it show. After a few streets, sans looked up at the sky and slowed down a bit. He sighed.

'heh, sorry to get you up so early, but its just something i do. i want to show you something awesome, and although you already know it, i just felt like its worth standing up at any time of the day to see it'

You were confused what he was talking about, but you just slowly nodded and continued following him. It didnt take too long for you to arrive at something like an entrance to some woods. You were unsure wether this was the best idea, but sans didnt hesitate a second, so you had no other choice as you went in after him.

The walk through the damp forest didnt take long, and you actually spotted a lot of beautiful flowers and heard birds already starting to chant their morning song. It was quite relaxing. There was also a faint hint of fogg and dew around the ground and everything looked a little bit like in a fairy tale. You smiled.

You were so enticed by your surroundings that you didnt even notice sans turn around every few minutes to see wether you were still there, and his own smile grew wider when he saw how much you enjoyed the forest view.

The forest walk didnt take long and then you found yourself on a strange ledge from which you could overlook the entire forest and also the city in the distance. You gasped at the beautiful sight of the sky covered in stars on a blue, purple and pink background that was slowly growing lighter every minute.

Sans sat down on the ledge, his feet dangeling over dangerously, but he didnt seem to mind. You sat down beside him but kept your feet to yourself. You looked out into the sky, watching the stars slowly fade into the he heavens.

'this is actually similair to what we first saw when we came onto the surface. i come here nearly every morning to watch the sunrise. sorry for gettin ya out of bed so early, humans are probably used to this, but i just thought you might like it'

*This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for taking me here. I never saw the sunrise like this before, to be honest.

When you looked back, the sun was already starting to come out, and you gasped at its sheer beauty.

He smiled even brighter and then fixed his gaze on the gigantic flaming ball that was slowly emitting from the horizon, coating the clouds in pink and orange, tainting the sky in all imaginable colors and making the entire horizon line flame up yellow. The colors of the mezmorising sunrise mixed perfectly with the green of the forest and the light grey of the city. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen and you knew you would see for a while.

While you were gazing off into the distance, you didnt notice sans cheeks growing blue for a moment when he saw you happily watching the sight before you. He quickly turned his head back and knew that he had no way out of this. He had a major, unexplainable crush and there was nothing he could do about it.

You both just sat there, absolutely enthralled by the wonderful scene before you. Only after the sun had already risen far above the line where land and sky met by a good bit, you were snapped out of your daze and couldnt help but shiver. The wind had picked up and you didnt have any proper winter clothes.

Sans was quiet for a moment, but then you could hear him move and turned to see him unzip his jacket and before you could object, he had draped it over your shoulders. You wanted to tell him that you couldnt possibly accept that even for a brief moment, but your hands were shaking from the cold and he wouldnt give in, so you had to accept his kindness once more.

When you started to walk back, you felt much warmer and kept thanking him for lending you his jacket, but after the third time, he told you that you didnt have to thank him anymore and that if you would, he'd have to give you more things, and you both laughed at his oh so great threat. You found yourself thanking him only once more after that.

When you arrived back... home, you immidiently gave him his jacket back, as comfortable as it was. He yawned.

'wow, i dont think ive ever been there this long... im just gonna get myself some sleep so my brother doesnt think i stopped being lazy while your here, heh'

And with that he vanished into his room. Your heart felt like it was whole again after seeing him and it was wonderful, being able to lie down on something comfortable with a smile all across your face. It was the best feeling you had experienced in ages, and for these few moments before you fell into a deep and peaceful slumber, you could forget your past.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

 

You felt something soft and big gently shake you and you opened your eyes, sitting up immidiently, looking at Toriel. She was smiling.

'Good morning, (Y/n). I hope you have slept well! The others will come down for breakfast soon, I was just about to go wake them'

*Morning. I slept really well, actually, thank you for asking.

'That is good'

She said and hurried over to the kitchen before calling something to you.

'Oh, and (Y/n), do you like toast and eggs? And is there anything else you would like with them?'

She came out of the kitchen with a few plates, each with two toasts and fried eggs in the shapes of hearts on top of the perfectly made toast. You signed yes to the first question and no to the second and sat down on the right corner of the couch, subconsciously relaxing more than you usually would. 

Toriel went and came back two more times to put all of the plates down, the glasses, and more plates with extra things like tomatoes in slices, meat in pieces, etc., Juice and Milk.

You smiled and thanked her, and then she went to the hallway connected to the main room. She came back with a sleepy looking Frisk and a quite tired looking Asgore. She told them both to sit down and then went upstairs. 

Frisk greeted you and you did so back, also greeting the King, but he didnt take much notice as he looked like he hadnt slept in hours. You snapped your fingers to catch his attention and asked him whats wrong, and he simply said that he had some papers to finish up last night. You nodded and didnt keep asking.

Frisk sat down on the royal chair close to the couch, theoretically sitting next to you, while the King took the other one. Toriel hadnt even come down yet when you started hearing Papyrus talking. Or rather, shouting, actually. 

'NHEH! SANS! WAKE UP ALREADY! DONT MAKE ME DRAG YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STAIRS! MISS TORIEL WOULD VERY MUCH DISLIKE YOUR LAZINESS, YOU KNOW!'

You cracked a smile as you heard the smaller brother reply.

'i dunno. i dont really trust the stairs, their always _up_   to something'

'NHEEEH! NOT YOUR STUPID PUNS AGAIN! DONT EVEN START!'

'why not? i think their _humerus_ '

'OH MY GOD SANS STOP!'

'awww, dont you have the _guts_   to stand through my puns?'

'THEIR NOT FUNNY, SANS! YOUR GOING TO MAKE ME YELL AND CARRY YOU DOWNSTAIRS!'

'pfft, dont lie to me, your smiling. besides, i think their pretty _punny_ '

You couldnt hold yourself as you snorted when Papyrus let out a battle cry and came down with his brother in his arms. When you saw sans lying there, you were fully aware he just liked to show that he was lazy, and you started laughing as you saw Papyrus' determined face and the way sans was leaning back into his brother's arms comfortably. 

Papyrus set his brother down on the couch and you smiled at both of them when you calmed down. Papyrus let out another 'neh' and sat down across from sans, who was slumping back into the couch and starting to snore loudly. You knew that sans didnt snore at all and you were close to breaking into laughter once more when Papyrus gave him a dissaproving look and sans opened one of his eyes just a tad bit to see it.

Toriel stepped to the table and sat down as well, and told everybody to go and dig in. The breakfast topped everything else you had eaten so far (except the chocolate pie maybe) and you werent very surprised. You found the hearts absolutely adorable.

'hey tori, why does each plate have two hearts and not one?'

'What? Well... I thought two would be better than just one. Why do you ask?'

'welp, i was just wonderin who stole all these hearts. cuz honestly, i think that mine should be on the plate to my left'

You looked at him for a moment, not knowing what to say, before you broke into a fit of giggles. Was he... _flirting_ with you?!? You felt heat in your face and you knew you must be blushing, but he was aswell, so it wasnt completely out of place.

The others giggled as well, all except Papyrus, who spoke up as soon as Frisk, Asgore and Toriel had calmed down.

'NHEH, SANS, YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU FLIRT WITH (Y/N), YOU WILL HAVE TO GO ON A DATE! AT LEAST, MY HANDBOOK SAYS SO! AND YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO FOLLOW THE HANDBOOK!'

Seeing Papyrus so serious and sans' face growing completely blue made you laugh again as you heard the short brother beside you stutter.

'u-uh. paps, i d-dont think thats how it works. look, i got my very own handbook, and it says differently'

'A DIFFERENT HANDBOOK? WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN IT THEN?'

'cuz its aaalll in my head'

He said and tapped at the side of his skull with his gloved hand.

'UGH! SANS, YOUR HEAD ISNT A PROPER BOOK! YOU NEED A REAL ONE!'

'nah, id be too lazy to read it'

'WELL, I THOUGHT AS MUCH'

Papyrus sighed and continued eating, and everybody laughed again, but soon settled down and continued eating as well. You felt your stomach flutter and a big smile sticking in the middle of your face from what just happened. Sans didnt look too bad when he was blushing...

Actually, who are you kidding.

He looks absolutely adorable.

And cute.

 

When you were all finished with breakfast, you insisted on helping Toriel with the dishes so you could tell her what happened while sans was having another nightmare. Toriel explained that the lamps were special ones to keep his magic contained, and that Papyrus actually had one similair just in case, only that his was blue. She thanked you for the information, even though you left out the part where you hugged and cried and the part about the sunrise. She didnt have to know.

You also asked her where all of the cleaning supplies was without telling her why. She showed you and you just told her you had wanted to know, but you were actually planning on just cleaning the entire place when they were gone one day to make up for at least some of the things they did for you.

But that plan had to wait for now. You sat down on the couch again, not exactly knowing what to do. Asgore and Toriel went to another meeting, Papyrus was off training for the royal guard again and sans was just watching TV. You watched with him for a while, but he kept switching channels at a frustratingly quick pace and never dwelled on anything, but you were too shy to say anything.

So you were just sitting at the table, occasionally glancing over at the wide screen flicker, but mainly just looking outside and watching some light rain patter on the windows. You were letting your thoughts drift away to a different world until you suddenly felt a tug at your sleeve.

You snapped out of your trance and looked at Frisk who was standing there with Paper and a pen in their hands. You smiled as they climbed on the couch to sit next to you and then asked you in sign language wether you could draw them an elephant.

*Well, I can try.

You signed and they immidiently reached you all of their 'art supplies' and waited excitedly for you to start. You began recalling your days of endless drawing, doing nothing more but creating and creating and creating even more to keep yourself distracted fro the dark around you and the tasks behind you. You made a few swift motions over the paper to test the pen. You couldnt rubber it away, but you accepted the challenge and went ahead.

One big circle for the head, two for the body, intersecting with one another. Connection lines, softening ones, a little trim here and there and then main features. Light hints to textures and face expression, wide eyed and smiling with a small trunk going up to the front. You began working out a few more details. It felt wonderful to have a pen in hand and some free paper again after so long and you enjoyed every line that you set.

Then you began thickening a few lines significantly, trimming it up a bit at the edges and on a few details before you handed Frisk the picture. It wasnt your best, surely, you could probably do much better, but you werent too dissapointed in the result.

*I can keep it like this if you want to color it in?

Frisk was absolutely frozen for a moment, looking at the picture, then to you, then back at the picture. When they lifted their head once more, they beamed with the biggest smile you had ever seen and hugged you.

When they pulled away, they immidiently began signing quickly, and you were able to read it this time because you had been becoming better and better at it.

*Thank you so much! It looks really good. I would love to color it!

Before you could sign them anything, the kid ran off to get some coloring materials. You heard sans move over to you and showed him the picture. He was obviously surprised at what he saw.

'holy shit! this _is_   really good! wait, can you draw other stuff like... space, maybe? or the stars? or a galaxy?'

His eyes were absolutely shining and he seemed more excited than ever.

*I dont know. I never tried myself at galaxies, their one of the hardest things to draw, actually, and I would need more than just a pen. But I can draw the sunrise?

Sans actually gasped and jumped up.

'be riiight back!'

Aaand he zipped out of existance for a brief moment only to return with some more paper. Frisk came running with the coloring things and sat down to color their picture, tediously trying to make every line absolutely perfect, determined to not make any mistakes or go over the lines you had set with the permanent pen.

You took the paper sans had handed you and looked over to see that you only had the basic colors to work with from a set of twelve coloring pencils. Picking up one, you started drawing a few contruction lines, thinking back to that one heavinly moment you were trying to capture on paper.

You started drawing by pouring your soul out into every stroke and line, knowing that it would make sans happy. You took a few moments to hesitate every now and then, planning out your next few moves and then continuing to bring the colors to life.

Your memory was working surprisingly well and you could remember enough to recreate the very moment, taking your most time to complete the details, shadings and and make everything seem as real as possible.

When you were finally done, you frowned. You could have done much better, and you werent satisfied with the result. The lack of complete perfection bothered you and made you frustrated, but sans was amazed. 

'damn... that looks amazing! ive never seen anything like it! i didnt know you could draw this well!'

His eyes were shining and he had the biggest sile on his face. You tried to smile too and then handed him the picture.

*Here, you can have it. I have no use for it.

He gasped, then put it aside gently as if it was a thin pane made of glass and then hugged you tightly. You were surprised, but returned the hug and smiled brighter. It didnt matter as much wether the picture was perfect or not. He seemed to love it, and that was all that mattered.

Just when Frisk was about to make some embaressing comment, the door swung open and Toriel came in. She closed the door behind her and came over to you.

'Good evening, sans, Frisk, (y/n). I hope you werent bored while- Oh goodness! Did... you draw that?'

She had seen the picture and you nodded. She beamed.

'It looks truly beautiful! I do not know anyone who can draw this well! Now. I do not know wether you are aware, but sans asked me about something earlier. He told us that he had seen you... live there'

She trailed off for a moment and you pushed back the instinct to flinch back and sans continued for her.

'we're going shopping!'

 

 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

 

As soon as you approached the large building, your mouth fell open as you gasped. It was the second most expensive and the biggest shopping mall in the city, and it looked much better in reality than from reports and...

You pushed your memories down once more, even though you were aware you could not keep doing this forever.

Despite your protests, the two monsters had insisted on taking you here, and you eventually had no choice but to come along with them. You had come here by car, the driver being toriel. You had gotten a few weird looks from others and you realized that it was because you were around monsters, which filled you with even more disgust for humanity.

When you entered the place, warm air surrounded you and you glanced around, the sheer variety stunning you, leaving you dumbfounded. Sans chuckeled and Toriel took your hand, leading you to one of the escalators and smiling reassuringly at you.

None of this was new to you, but it was still strange stepping into such a place. When you were at the proper section of the mall, you were still unsure about accepting their gifts, but they assured you that it was fine and you had to start thinking of what you would need.

Immediataly going over to the hoodies, you picked out an ink blue one, a black one and one in a rust red. Satisfied with your choice, you only picked three pairs of normal jeans your size, being careful to pick out the cheaper ones, some underwear, t-shirts in black and some blue ink colored socks. After that, Toriel managed to also get you a very pretty looking, white blouse, some black pajamas covered in little aqua flowers that seemed to glow and a skirt in raspbery that you doubted you were ever going to wear. You hated exposed skin and the color pink.

After you were done, you spotted a blue dress from the corner of your vision in a different aisle. You stopped in your tracks and stared at it. It was beutifuly cut, looked extremely elegant and expensive. The top was a light blue that gradiated into black. The black parts had some sparce, silver glitter over them and made it look like a clear sky was fading into the night's heavens. It was the most stunning thing you had ever seen.

Making sure that none of the two monsters were looking, you walked over to the small, white podestal and you backed away immidiently when you saw the price tag. This wasnt something you wanted them to get you, and as much as you loved it, they had other, more important things to focus on than what you wanted.

When you left the mall, you still felt like you could have taken less, and even though the others kept reassuring you that everything was fine, you werent convinced. How much more did you owe them now? You already owed them everything. What now?

It was still troubeling you somewhat when you came back... home? 

Yes, home. It was still troubeling you when you came back home, and you werent really sure what to do. It was beginning to get late and you would have to stay on the couch again, obviously. You didnt mind much as your thoughts were more troubled by the fact that you had another guilt-headache.

Toriel showed you a place in her closet where you could put your new clothing, where she did the laundry, how the washing machine worked and that you could change in the bathroom. She also gave you your own personal towel in light blue and some bathing lotions and shampoo. You couldnt thank her enough, but she just brushed it off.

You could see the others beginning to settle down, Asgore, Papyrus and Frisk came home and started to go to bed as well just like Toriel and sans. Everything was becoming quiet until only you were left with your own thoughts, your new set of pajamas on and the couch. Slumping into it and trying to get yourself comfortable, you tried to find sleep, but you couldnt.

All sorts of thoughts were nagging and annoying you, and at one point you felt like screaming for them to go away, but you knew that that wouldnt have done much. You knew your past was slowly coming back, and you fought it with every little bit of your being. You didnt want to remember... It had taken you so long to forget.

It took you ages to finally fall asleep, only starting to even close your eyes at 3 am, but you patiently waited for sleep to take over and eventually, it did.

 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

 

When you stood up the next morning, or rather, a few hours later, sans was just coming down the stairs when he spotted you in your pajamas. You didnt feel like changing yet, in fact, you didnt feel like doing anything, but you knew you had to. For them.

'hey bud, did tori pick those?'

He made a gesture towards you outfit and you nodded, sitting up and turning on the TV, unwilling to do anything.

'heyyy, im usualy the one to be at the screen first! looks like you beat me to it though'

You didnt react as you started switching through the channels, giving up after a few minutes and just throwing the TV remote to the other end of the couch. You didnt feel like doing absolutely anything, you were tired and just wanted to sleep. Or die. The latter would be better.

You closed your eyes and then heard sans walk over and sit down beside you, switching to some documentary and then turning to you.

'is somethin wrong? are you feeling okay? i hope you havnt forgotten that its friday. today at 5 is that party again'

You looked up. You really didnt feel too well, but hearing about the party made you a bit happier. You stared off into the distance for another moment before answering in sign language.

*I forgot about that, but Im glad that you let me remember. Is there anything I could help with?

'nah, leave that to the magic type of people. are you sure your fine? you look a bit pale today'

*Im fine. Maybe I can still help though.

He sighed and looked away, not answering, until the fact that he could see wether someone was lying jumped into your mind and you hurried to apologize after getting his attention.

*Im sorry, I forgot that you can tell lies. Im just feeling a bit down, thats all. I should still help.

'the lyin aint even that big of a problem, its just that you use it all to cover up somethin, and that something seems to be pretty big. you dont have to talk about it though. and you are _not_   going to lift a finger, you dont have any magic to make work easier'

*Thank you for understanding. Also, just because I dont have magic doesnt mean I cant help.

'yeah, but it would be better if you just stayed this way. maybe you can help next time, but right now, i think its better if you just live yourself in, enjoy yourself. you seem to need it'

He shrugged and pretended to not really care, but you could tell that this wasnt the case. Your mind had already been able to figure out a few things, one of those being that he was hiding something as well. Well, he was hiding a lot of things, sure, but mainly something big that he didnt want to share with anybody.

*Im fine! I dont have anything to do anyways. What am I supposed to do with my spare time? Stare at a wall?

'eh... good point... but you can always draw? space, maybe?'

You sighed and then laughed. You knew you would need watercolors and a highlighter to draw a galaxy or just stars in general, and you didnt know wether they had these things. It was still somewhat funny how they all thought you were an artist or something. Your drawings werent really that good, the world held far better.

*Alright, but I will help as much as humanly possible next friday, okay?

'yeah yeah, we're gonna deal with that then. you should really just take a load off though'

*Im okay, just tired since I didnt sleep too well. I guess I have no choice.

You sighed, gave a little laugh again and sat down at the table, reaching for the stack of papers and beginning to scribble something on them. You werent really sure what you were drawing yourself, you didnt have any ideas at the moment, so you were just starting to sketch random things.

You spent most of the evening just sketching and then ripping the sketches apart because you didnt find them good enough to even look at. Each time you saw a sketch, you just felt anger rise up in you. Anger at yourself. That you werent perfect, that you couldnt get an idea on paper properly and just anger at the things you created. They were never good enough.

Sans never stayed too far and even tried to convince you to keep some of your artwork, but you were raging at your mistakes and didnt listen most of the time. The only two pictures he could save was one where Toriel was standing in the kitchen and flipping pancackes and the other was a rather detailed image of the moon, both were made entirely in pencil.

You didnt want to ask Frisk for the coloring things, you didnt want to bother them because of all the perperations that they were doing. Sans made absolutely sure that you didnt do anything but what you wanted to do, and you couldnt make him listen to convince him otherwise. When Toriel was done with cooking and came with the first plates, you put away all of the drawing material and suddenly remembered something.

You lightly tugged at Toriel and she turned around, smiling. You began to sign.

*If Mettaton will be here, then where will I sit?

She seemed conflicted for a moment when she looked over at the big table but then had an idea.

'How about we set Flowey on the table so you can have his place? I do no think he will mind. He does not seem to like these dinners very much'

You shook your head immidiently.

*No no, Flowey has to attend the dinner too. Maybe I can just spend my time upstairs?

'I do not think that would be the best idea. I can tell you liked the last dinner very much, so I will simply get another chair. By the way, you sound a lot like Frisk when you talk about Flowey'

She added the last part a bit quieter and finished it while she was already hurrying away, getting another chair. She put the extra extra chair on the side where your back would be turned to the TV and placed it next to Alphys' after she pushed the three chairs to the side to make some room.

You wanted to help, but a look from sans who was just lazily sitting on the couch made you act otherwise. He had been there in his spot for the entire day and didnt bother going. 

'Alright, this will be your seat. Now, how about you get dressed? Alphys and Undyne should be here soon'

You nodded and realized that you were still in your pajamas. They were just too comfortable to change, and you loved their dark color scheme, but you knew you had to wear something else. You picked out the blue ink colored hoodie, one of the t-shirts and one of the darker jeans. When you were done, you looked at yourself in Toriel's mirror and smiled. It didnt look that bad, actually.

Sure, your face looked kindof ugly and your figure still looked weird, but otherwise, the clothing choice for example, was fine. Putting your hands into the pockets of the hoodie, you came out of the monster's room and headed for your chair.

Sans was gone from his spot and you wondered where he went, but he was just coming down the stairs. 

'pfft, oh my god. did you copy my clothing or what is that supposed to mean?'

He was laughing and you gave out a slightly offended huff when you signed to him.

*No. I always wore these kind of things before, and their my favorite colors.

He didnt question anything else as he sat down on the couch and you sat down on your chair. When everybody started arriving, you greeted them along with Frisk and they all seemed happy to see you. Mettaton came as well and he was clearly anoying the hell out of Flowey who was barely containing himself from anger at the boasting robot, but the entertainment star seemed fairly nice and take a liking to Papyrus, whom he talked to most of the time.

You were sitting next to Alphys during the dinner and you actually got into conversation with her at one point.

'H-hey, (y/n), I know it m-may be weird to ask, but... You know how Im a scientist and all?'

You smiled.

*Your the royal scientist, not just some scientist.

She blushed before she continued talking. She really seemed to need the motivation and self-esteem.

'W-well, yeah, and you know how Ive been building all of these soul diagnosis machines? I-Ive been searching for volunteers for really really long, but humans are just too scared of monsters and the unknown, and Im not f-forcing you to do anything, but maybe you can consider helping me? Just maybe? It wouldnt hurt or anything like that, it can feel weird and you would probably be scared and nervous but there is nothing to be nervous about so... yeah'

*Its okay. Id be happy to help you. I dont have much to do here anyways.

'R-really? Thanks, (y/n)! I can pick you up at 2 o'clock tomorrow, if you like'

You nodded and signed that you would tell the others later. You talked more to her and noticed how she was actually pretty smart, but that shouldnt be much of a surprise. She was shy, stammered a lot and truly liked Undyne for more than just strength. You didnt even have to try to pick up everything you could. She could lie, but wasnt too good at it, was insecure, easily touched, but also quite loyal and obedient.

It was surprising what a small conversation could teach you.

When everybody was putting the furniture aside again to watch some other movie, you sat down on the ground next to the couch and leaned against it. You were a bit tired already, the toll from having not slept enough getting to you already. 

The others sat in their normal places and you thought about just dozing off right from the start when you heard somebody walk and then sit beside you. Lifting your head, you saw sans sitting there. 

'hey, alph told me about, you know, that you would be okay in helpin her with her diagnostics and stuff, and thats fine, i guess. i also told her she didnt have to come, i could drive you there'

*Thank you. For everything. 

He fell silent and just nodded, his gaze drifting off.

*What else did you want to say?

He looked at you fairly surprised, and you knew he had every right to be. He couldnt possibly know or understand your ability to read people like open books. It wasnt a very pretty ability, but a useful one. Most of the time, that is.

'i dont know if it would be rude to ask or somethin, but... you have working vocal chords, i can tell that you can give sounds from them just fine. your obviously not deaf either, so... why dont you talk?'

*I dont like talking.

'why?'

You lifted your hands, but then hesitated. You felt memories pressing at the back of your mind and just tried to shove them back, but it didnt work too well this time. you felt like you would be getting a headache from thinking about this later on.

*I dont want them to snap.

He still seemed confused, but he saw that you didnt want to talk about it and decided to not push it. You thought of one of the true reasons you had stopped talking and shivered as cold ran down your entire body. You hadnt been talking for years. Just because you made that one self-promise didnt mean that you were actually ever talking before. You had stopped a quite long time ago... 

You had stopped talking when you started forgetting.

You looked down at the floor, absentminded, the sounds around you growing quiet and your head feeling dizzy. You leaned against the couch and closed your eyes, hoping that it would pass, which it did after a while. When you opened your eyes again, sans was gone, probably sitting in his place on the couch again, having fun with the others.

Your tireness was mainly gone, and this time everybody was watching a Mettaton movie. You didnt think it was made too well, but considering that it was released only a few months after monsters came to the surface, you were impressed. The robot sure knew what he was doing. And his acting wasnt all too bad, even if the story line was a bit... sloppy. It was okay though.

When the movie was finally over and the credits were flashing across the screen, Undyne jumped up to run into the kitchen and be back with some alcohol. Things werent too bad as last time though, as only she, Alphys and Mettaton got a little bit tipsey, but the rest stayed fairly sober and played spin the bottle once more.

They all told you to play and tried to convince you in every way possible, but you refused every time. You didnt like this game at all and didnt have any intentions of joining them. The game wasnt too interesting as you sat on the couch, watching them all play. You were thinking of your own things.

You were wondering wether you could even willingly remember your past at this point. You didnt want to, but did you even have control over that anymore? Was it your choice to begin with, or did you have to go through certain experiences or talk about certain things with people in order for you to remember?

And what even was this great something that happened? Your pushed up memories began to resonate and you decided to think about something else. Space for example. Or drawing, or... or your friends. Friends... Were they friends? 

You looked to the window, listening to their conversation, thinking about each and every one of them and listing the things you knew about them. Yes, you decided and smiled. They were your friends for sure.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

 

The next day, sans drove you to alphys place in order for you to help her like you had wanted to. The monsters only had one car, but it was not a very cheap one. They all only needed one car, and you werent one to question their posessions. It was red and a quite shiny looking BMW. The others had all left earlier that day for different reasons. They all had their locations in walking range, so they didnt need the car.

You didnt drive for long, and you just kept staring out the window, remembering what had happened last night. It was raining lightly again, but the air had gotten somewhat warmer than before. You watched the droplets fall against the glass and all of the gray, dark colored and black houses pass you by as you both drove. You were sitting in the back seat, since you had refused to go to the front for reasons you werent really sure of yourself, but your past seemed to somehow be connected to it again.

When sans finally let the car park in a very important and expensive looking part of the city, it took you a moment to realize you had arrived. Your hoodie fit perfectly for the weather as you put on the hood and walked alongside sans as he lead you past some big entrances just to stop at a gigantic one that read 'Humain Monster Laboratry' in huge glowing letters above it.

You had to keep your mouth from falling open, but your eyes still widened as he lead you inside. You had to take a tunnel that lead you right into the middle of the complex. You entered a nearly completely white, main room with chairs and more automatic double doors lining the pristine walls. There were a few people walking from there to here, some sitting, others going across the room to a different entrance.

There was a very modern looking reception and you followed sans to it. Most of the people walking around had either lab coats or were dressed very formally and you wondered wether you would get kicked out for wearing a hoodie to a place like this. You had taken the hood down, but still.

When you approached an empty desk at the reception, a lady greeted you and looked at you sourly, letting her gaze go up and down, and you thought she was just about to stand up and guide you outside when she started talking.

'Good afternoon, Doctor Sans Gaster. I assume that this is (y/n). Have you brought the official papers?'

'no. doctor alphys said that she would hand them later, didnt she?'

'It appears so... Alright. Do you know your way around, Doctor?'

'yes, of course. in what room is alphys running the experiments?'

'Lab B. She is already awaiting you. I will tell her that you will arrive shortly'

'yes, thank you'

And with that he actually grabbed your wrist and pulled you to one of the doors before you could say anything. Had the receptionist known him by appearance? And called him Doctor Sans Gaster?!? So his last name was Gaster, but that still left an information gap around 'doctor'. Did he work here? And how in hell did he have a doctor title? At what?! And if he did, why did he barely ever leave the house?!?

You couldnt ask anything as you hurried to keep up with his steps as he lead you through a big door with 'Lab B' written atop it. When he pushed the double door open, he did so with his magic and shut it with it as well. You stumbled inside and sans immidiently turned to Alphys, who had been rearranging something on a tray. 

'alph. tell me, and be _honest. did you tell her to call me by full name?'_

Alphys whirled around and there was fear written in her face for a moment. 

'What? N-no! O-of course not! I-I d-dont know wh-what y-your... t-talking... ab... o-out?'

He had taken a step closer and seemed furious as Alphys voice grew quieter with every word. After looking her up and down, he sighed, seemed to relax and just turned around to you again. You were completely confused of what just happened, but you had gotten some more proof that sans wasnt to be messed with for some great reason. But what was it that made everybody not just respect him like someone who knew a lot, but basicly fear him completely, especially when he got mad?

*What was that?

He didnt answer as he just looked at you for a moment before turning back to a very nervous and disturbed looking Alphys. 

'come on, lets get on with the tests. we only have an hour before the others need the lab'

'O-okay! L-lets go. This way, (y/n)! And dont be scared. Its nothing out of the ordinary, just a few basic tests and diagnostics for some boring old statistics. I will explain more in a moment'

You were still very mind-set on finding out what the receptionist had been talking about, but you decided to properly form a plan to find out and followed Alphys through multiple rooms and to another set of double doors. It didnt open automatically and they didnt have any see through glass in them.

'O-Okay. Do you have any objects on you that may glow or emit any kind of light?'

You shook your head and she continued to explain. 

'The next room is completely dark, and it has to be for the sensitive machinery in it. When I open the doors, just take one big step inside and sans will close them with his magic quickly. There is still some very very faint light in there so you can make out some silhouettes of big objects after you have gotten used to the lack of light. So as soon as we enter, we will stop, and wait until your eyes got used to everything. When they do, just tap my shoulder, okay?'

She stopped to make sure you followed, and you nodded. Things werent as complicated as you expected them to be.

'Right. Then I will take you by your wrist again and guide you to the machine. You will be able to make out more by then, and see that there is a pad with buttons for me to use not too far away. I will put it on the default settings and then return to you. Sans will stay with you the entire time, and when I come back, I will have to pull out your soul, okay? You may not know what that means directly, but I can explain everything a bit more in detail afterwards. Then I will make it hover to a small soul-shaped container and put it in. You may feel a bit dizzy or uneasy, but thats normal.'

You were beginning to think that it may not have been the best idea to come here, yet you werent going to back out now. You gulped and nodded.

'Your soul is going to be shining brightly, and it may emit enough light for you to sign, although I am not sure about that. The machine will take 20 minutes to analyse your soul, and then I will give it back to you and look at a few things such as stats and LV manually with a few small tools. Nothing will hurt, just feel uncomfortable at the very most. Although we have had the strangest reactions from humans, none of them were ever injured. However!'

She stopped for a moment and you noticed her look being firm and strict.

'Your soul being exposed like that is not without danger. Humans have an instinct to protect their being physically, but that is wrong. If you feel like touching your soul... DONT. It could harm it. Not too much, it wont be enough to kill you, but you can get injured deeply with magic. I will try to interfere if something like this happens, and if you begin to panic, press into one of our shoulders or sign, if we are able to see it in case your soul is bright enough. Did you get all that?'

You nodded one last time and she reached out to gently take your wrist. You hurried to step into the pitch black room and get far away from the door as it was shut as swiftly as it was opened. Everything was black, and only Alphys touch was giving you enough orientation not to panic. You just had to wait and get used to the dark, thats all...

It took you a few minutes, but when you could make out some of the room enough to find your way, you tapped Alphys, you saw her nodd a bit and then guide you further inside. The machine looked quite differently than what you expected, but fitted Alphys' describtions.

She went over to the pad and started pressing some of the hundreds and hundreds of white colored buttons, her claw like hands perfect for the job since they didnt leave any chance she would hit a wrong one. You were looking around, a bit lost of what to do. Sans was standing right next to you, his hands still firmly in his pockets, his white pupils giving off a faint white glow, but not enough to illuminate his skull or anything that came near them, but enough to be noticable in the dark. Just like little stars.

You ripped your thoughts away when Alphys came back with a satisfied look.

'Alright, just stand still, okay?'

She ordered and you were scared for a moment, but then pushed your fear aside and closed your eyes as her claw rested on your chest for a moment. Then there was a strange feeling in your chest is if your heart had been moved outside, you slowly opened your eyes to see a glowing, dark aqua heart hover in the air. It wasnt giving off too much light, but enough to make out your suroundings very clearly. 

This glowing heart seemed to have veins filled with black blood going through it and some even sticking out, and you had to wonderhow they would feel to the touch as you shivered. It looked like a bodypart that had caught a disease that made it distort and grow completely black.

There was a pulsing heartbeat inside the hovering being, and all of the black veins moved to it in unity. There were also dots and weird looking wounds all over it, a black mass leeking out of some but never dropping to the ground.

It also looked like it was gradiationg from a dark aqua at the top to completely black at the bottom of it. The top was shining much brighter and more than the sickening black below, and you could see Purple and crimson red flash by as tiny dots like from a disco ball for brief moments sometimes.

You focused on ypur soul more, and you suddenly saw parts of your own thoughts, emotions and bits and pieces of your memory flashing by. It gave off something like a heart beat and looked blurry from time to time. There was definitly a lot going on at once.

You looked at the other two monsters nervously, wondering wether they could see the same, but they didnt seem to as they were uninterested in the contents of your soul, or it was just a normal thing and they didnt really care.

Alphys noticed your conflicted look, or rather the confliction in your soul, and began to talk.

'Dont worry (y/n), only you can look inside your soul. We can only see that its... well, surpsisingly... dark'

She was tiptoing around the word before she spoke it, and you felt a twinge in your chest that made your entire soul flash nearly black for a moment and darkness pulse inside it at a quicker and more intense pace. There was a gasp from Alphys as she looked at you, concerned.

'A-are you okay? That looked pretty bad... D-didnt that hurt? Like, a lot? Im sorry, I didnt mean it to come over that way, I just... Im so sorry!'

You shook your head at her and began to sign. It sure was bright enough to do so.

*Its fine.

Your soul twitched, twisting and turning at the lie and becoming dark once more and you frowned. It really was impossible to lie while you had your soul out.

*I dont like this.

Alphys just nodded after a moment and then used some of her magic to slowly and carefully move the soul into the now open container. You didnt feel dizzy at all. Just like the thing in your chest that caused you feelings was missing and over at the machine, but that wasnt anything too surprising.

  
There was a low hum as the machine began to work. You stared at your own soul, seeing your thoughts reflect in it like in a mirror. There were a few steps behind you and you turned around to see sans having put down two chairs. He sat down on one and offered you the other. You wanted to refuse, but he just made a motion towards your soul and you sat down. Your gaze immidiently went back to it and you felt the protective instinct that Alphys had mentioned before.

Your gaze didnt leave it still when sans spoke up.

'okay, so alph told me to explain some stuff to you while we're waitin. you listenin?'

You nodded and he continued.

'ok. so she wants to maually mesure a few more things: your at, def, hp, exp, and lv. ill explain what those are. so at stands for how much damage you can do while touching another's soul. def is how much your own soul can take, hp is how many hitpoints your soul has to spare before it dies. now, those were the basics. getting to the slightly more complicated stuff'

You nodded to show that you were listening even though you werent looking at him.

'exp is the emount of pain or death you have inflicted on others, and you gain lv by reaching a certain amount of exp. it takes more each time, smilair to what you call... levels in a video game. alhtough its nothing to be proud of, really. also, the thing i can do when i know wether your lying? i can see your soul become dark sometimes. not all monsters can do it, only very few can see one's soul'

You nodded, slower this time. And you knew that you couldnt let Alphys check your 'stats'. No way in hell would you show them... that...

...

You flinched as you pressed your negativity and memories back, using your last strength to forget again. Sans noticed and your soul began pulsing rapidly, the dark seeping into the bottom of it as it had just been coming to the top. 

It took your soul-, or... well, it took you a while to calm down, but everything looked relatively normal after a moment. Well, as far as normal goes. You could see your soul more clearly now, and there were black tendrils all over it, digging into it and zapping it's energy as it pulsed like a heart. But its rythm was steadier and more powerful.

That didnt stop patches of extremely dark aqua lingering all over it, and you wondered what it would look like if it were pure and rid of all that black and dark mess. How bright must it be then?

Alphys stepped over to you and told you that eveything was ready. You stood up and watched her pull your being out of the container and give it back to you. The glowing heart hovered just above your palms and you felt like you were holding your entire self in your hands. Which, in a sense, you actually were.

Alphys stepped up with a metal toll in her hand and you took a weary step back.

'I-Is something wrong, (y/n)?'

You nodded and focused on getting your soul back inside your chest as you used your hands to sign.

*I dont think this is a good idea. Can we just end the experiments and tests here?

She looked surprised and then looked over to sans, who just shrugged.

'W-well, what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable? Unless you had ever killed anyone, there's nothing to be afraid of! Wait... Y-you never killed anyone, r-right?'

*Of course not. Why would I?

She gave a sigh of relief and you turned around, glad that you didnt have your soul out while signing that. You turned to see sans looking at you, somewhat tense, but trying to hide his discomfort. He knew that you lied. He didnt need to have your soul out to look at it to be able to tell.

The glow of your soul was gone, and you needed Alphys to lead you out of the room again. When you were out, you needed a moment to get used to the amount of light around you again. They both waited patiently and then sans led you through the same confusing corrdors after saying goodbye to Alphys and tugged you outside.

Once out, you both walked to the car in silence and you sat at the back again. The entire time, none of you said a single word until you arrived back home and sans went into his room without saying anything. You didnt want to disturb him so you just sat at the table and felt horrible.

You hadnt asked for something like this, but your deep sadness, your fears and worries were taking over you once more, drowning you in self-doubt and guilt, unimaginable amounts of guilt. You felt absolutely horrible. Like somebody had taken you and stomped you into the ground and put you to complete shame. You couldnt hold back a quiet sniffle as you felt tears in your eyes.

**You pathetic whelp! Now your going to cry, too? Why? For what? Self pitying yourself again? How stupid.**

You felt like screaming out, but held back.

**You cant do anything! All youve ever done is fail everybody. Your a terrible being that doesnt deserve to exist! Your an idiot, a stupid attention whore. Why do you even fucking try?**

You shakingly stood up, found your pillow and pressed your face into it to muffle your sobs. You hated the way you cried. And you hated the way you showed weakness. The way you decided to wait out your problems or hide from your resposebilities. The way that you had no way to show them how much you really cared. The way that you couldnt get anything right and how you werent worthy of anything anymore, only torture. That was all that you deserved at this point.

 


	5. Family and Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme song: Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k94-dwsNUe0 )
> 
> Also! There is a small skip included. The particulair skip will have more information on what it is. ^^

Steps ripped you from your thoughts and you wiped away your tears, your face immidiently relaxing on instinct as you tried to hide the fact that you were crying. Toriel was coming out of her room and heading towards you. You tried to calm yourself down as best as possible, but your eyes were red, your hands were shaking and you were sitting in a crouched position near a pillow full of tears.

'(y/n)? Is everything... Oh goodness! (y/n), what happened? Are you alright?'

She hurried towards you and you couldnt help but let out a quiet sob, failing to press everything down again. It didnt matter how hard you tried, when she came up to you, knelt before you and hugged you, you couldnt help but let your tears fall freely.

She started calming you down and you gladly cried into her shoulder, hugging her back tight. You were unbelievably glad to have her here. She continued being there for you until you had somewhat calmed down. It didnt take too long to cry yourself out, but it was longer than one could comfortably remain in one position, and yet she did.

She stayed, waited until you couldnt cry any more, then picked you up and seated you on her lap again, waiting until you calmed down completely before she spoke.

'(y/n), you do not have to talk about it if you do not wish to. But know that we are here for you if you need help. Would you like to tell me whats wrong?'

You felt happyness and relief in your chest when you heard her words and hugged her again, nearly beginning to cry once more before you could answer.

*Thank you, Toriel. Thank you so much! I am very glad that you helped me. I dont want to talk about it right now though.

You made sure to spell out her name, she sure was somebody to give respect to.

'That is alright, (y/n). It is your choice. Do you feel better now?'

*Yes, I feel much better. Thank you again.

'It is quite alright, you are very welcome. I am sorry to bring this up in a moment like this, but I had come to look for you because of some papers that Alphys needs'

You nodded in understanding.

*Its okay. What do you need from me specifically?

'Well, things like birth date, your age, your full name and some other minor things. Would you like to fill them out now?'

You nodded and she handed you a Paper and pen. You actually had to stop sometimes to think, and you left the family name gap open.

*I do not know about my family name, I do not want to fill it out.

She just nodded, smiling, understanding, and looked over the papers in general.

'Oh. You are aged 17, correct?'

You signed quickly to her.

*Yes, at least, so I counted, but Im pretty sure thats it.

'Oh dear... Then the goverment and the rules will require for you to have at least one person to be your legal guardian, my child. At least, until you are 18. Do you... know anybody... who...?'

She trailed off, leaving her question unfinished on purpose to not touch on anything too deep. You shook your head and she seemed in thought for a moment.

'Well, then, would you like one of your friends to be your legal guardian? It can only be something on paper, of course. You would not specifically be bound to anything, and we can change it if things get complicated. Or I could find you a kind human to care for you as well, if that would be what you wish'

You shook your head and began to sign to her, a smile on your face. You felt your heart beating in your chest confidently as you remembered how much you cared about all of them for not only saving you, but for being there for you, for being kind and generous, for sparing and saving you.

*Would it be too much to ask you to be my new legal guardian? To be a mother? Your really good at it already!

'O-Oh! Well, if it would make you happy, then yes, I would love to take care of you!'

You felt happyness fill your entire body as you hugged her tight again. She hugged you back and told you that she would take care of you as best as she could. You thought back to one of your self promises, pulled back and whispered a hearable thank you.

She was surprised, but then she just beamed.

'You are very, very welcome, my child'

When everybody else came home that day, they found you and Toriel playing a board game on the floor and you smiling until your face hurt. Toriel was taking so much time for you you could hardly believe your luck to be around her. She had sent the papers to some office supervisors who were making you a passport.

Youd have to get a picture of you taken later on, but that was scheduled for monday, so you didnt have to worry about that now. You officially had a new mother to care and love you and you couldnt thank her enough.

Everybody, especially sans, were pretty confused until toriel told them the news because you were too excited to sign slowly enough for them to understand. Everybody was extremely happy and Frisk decided that they had to throw a party for their 'awesome new sibling'.

You felt like a child again and it didnt bother you in the slightest. It felt so increadibly nice to have a proper family you couldnt stop smiling and laughing out of pure joy. Asgore, Papyrus and sans joined your board game and Frisk ran off to start planning a 'welcome to the family' kind of party for you. You kept thanking them and you felt like the luckiest person on earth.

Sans kept making family puns (You didnt even know those were a thing. They were mainly mom puns though) and Papyrus was annoyed as hell. But he stopped yelling after a while to give sans and you the chance to breathe as you were both laughing over his reactions.

Later that day, when it was already becoming dark, Toriel called Mettaton, Alphys and Undyne and told them of how she now had a new child to care for, and the monster couple immidiently wanted to come over despite the time, so you ended up spending the evening with them as well.

When Undyne went into the kitchen to get herself a drink, you snatched the bottle of whine away from her, ignoring her protests, and put it back. You gave her a firm look, she sighed, then shrugged and went back. You werent going to let things go out into embarressing heights again.

Undyne and Alphys had to stay overnight because it was too dark for them to go home. Undyne actually brought sleeping bags and they both stayed in the living room, positioning themselves between the TV and your sleeping place. You offered them the couch, but they werent taking it and even said it was more comfortable in their sleeping bags, so you let them be.

When you had all lied down, you were about to just start falling asleep when you heard them both whisper behind you, but before you could tell them anything, Undyne spoke up.

'Hey, punk, wanna play truth or dare for a bit?'

You turned around and wanted to decline. The two monsters were sitting in their sleeping bags and looking at you.

*I dont know. I dont like the game very much.

'Why not though?'

*I just dont like being embarressed.

'You mean just like sans hated to admit that he totally has a gigantic crush on you?'

Your face grew hot and you turned around immidiently only to hear the two giggle.

'And its pretty obvious you like him too, (y/n). But look. There is one problem'

You didnt want to turn around, so you stayed where you were. Undyne knew you could hear her though.

'Lately, there has been an open discussion wether human monster relationships should be allowed. And things arent looking too great right now. Just keep that in mind, okay?'

Your face had calmed down and you turned around to look at them.

'AND NOW! All you have to do is kiss him!'

You flinched back at her yell a bit before turning around again with red cheecks. You were _not_   facing them on this topic. You had your own emotional life, and you wouldnt let them interfere with it. Yes, maybe you liked him somewhat more than you should, but that didnt mean he had to know about it or that it was anything important. Or worth embarressing you about.

There was another fit of annoying giggles and you groaned and thought about just telling them to shut up when you realized that you didnt know how to tell them that in sign language. Frisk hadnt taught you any swears or anything rude in general, and you probably shouldnt be surprised about it.

The two monsters had caught themselves again and stopped laughing. You heard shuffeling behind you as they both crawled into their own sleeping bags.

They whispered quietly for a bit longer, but eventually went to sleep as well. Your last thought was how Sans would have laughed if you told him that you liked him.  
  


\-------------------------------------------------  
  


When you slowly began to wake up, your mind drifted back to your dreams, and you suddenly realized that Sans had been in it. Only minorly, but he was there, and you werent too sure what to think of it. The thought of lucid dreaming crossed your mind, but you quickly discarded the option. You were most definitly not going to let things go overboard like that.

Rolling over and spotting two empty sleeping bags beside you on the floor, you started stretching and thinking about what you could do today. And what you would be doing in the future in general. You couldnt just be here and enjoy yourself on their costs, you had to do at least _something_   to help them.

You tugged at your pajamas to make them sit right when you went into Toriels room to pick out your clothes for the day. She was already awake and making breakfast in the kitchen. Once you were dressed, you went back and started folding your sheets, making the couch look like a proper couch again and folding up the sleeping bags of your two friends, putting them to the side to make some room.

When you entered the kitchen, you came in just in time to catch a pack of milk from falling over the edge of the counter. Toriel thanked you and you didnt let her object as you patiently persevered your goal, and eventually, she let you help her make breakfast. It took you about 30 minutes to learn how to make the dough for pancackes, flip them, serve them, cut up 5 different fruit in about 3 efficient individual ways for each, how and in what order to put down plates and silverware and where everything was stored in the kitchen.

Toriel was extremely surprised about your quick progress and kept telling you that you had a talent for cooking, but you kept telling her you were simply a slightly faster learner than most, that it was nothing big. That didnt stop her from mentioning how you helped her later on though, where everybody gave you a round of applause for how delicious everything was. You could hardly stop blushing and thanking everyone, not being used to compliments still.

You helped Toriel wash the dishes as well and she seemed very grateful for the helping hand, since she didnt get that too often. But after that, she told you that she had to leave for work. It turned out that she worked at a monster school (of which only two existed so far) as a teacher and at the same time as the head master of both since she was the one who made all the monsters donate to build both buildings.

When she saw your expression as she was about to leave, she looked up from her packed bag and turned around to you.

'My child, how would you like to accompany me to work? You may be officially a minor, but you can help me as long as I am there. I am sure that would be better for you than just staying here and staring at the walls?'

Your head shot up at her words and you nodded gleefully. Practically hopping back inside, you got your only jacket just in case the wind picked up and gave her a thumbs up, to which she laughed and then closed the door behind you two, leaving a woried and clearly annoyed sans behind at the top of the stairs without noticing.

 

You were able to walk there as Toriel said that it wasnt too far. You werent too surprised, since you were basicly in the middle of the monster part of the city and it was more crowded here. Approaching the school building, you let your gaze go over every window and every door you could find, stopping for a moment to try and make a mental map of the place in your head in case you had to navigate around it.

Toriel stopped as well, waiting patiently before you went over to her and continued walking alongside your new mother. You still kept casting accasional glances to the building though, and after a few moments, you were already able to make out it's basic layout.

The building had mint colored walls and silver details, even though the mint was kept a warm color and a bit too green in some places. The windows were all clean, and various artworks like paper butterflies, pictures, transparent Flowers and 2D rainbow colored houses made of special tinkering materials for children. You smiled, looking over all of the work that had gone into making everything look so friendly and welcoming.

You were approaching the front, so you couldnt see the playgrounds, but you were sure they must look just as lovely as the school itself. There were also some golden details from time to time, and you spotted flower patches made up of all kinds of beautiful colors right and left of the big entrance doors.

When you came in, you noticed how even the cream white walls were decorated lovingly, and your smile only grew when you saw a huge board on one wall with all of the species of monsters drawn on paper and pinned to it. The ceiling was unusually high, but that was understanding since many tall monsters would have to fit through as well. It gave you a very comfortable and free feeling.

The Floor was all kinds of colors as well, varying from room to room. The hallways had a typical, warm orange and yellow carpet, while the halls had some light blue stone flooring with wonderful patterns and the classrooms were always completely different. There were carpets in all colors and patterns, floors made up of all types of minerals and stones, all sorts of wood and there was even one rubber floor which Toriel commented on, saying that is was the one the children loved the most. She was smiling widely the entire time.

The classroom Toriel stopped at after walking through plenty of hallways had a coral carpet with small lime dots every now and then spread on the floor. The tables were made of bright birch wood and so were the chairs. The room was filled with young monsters, talking and whispering to one another. The tables were arranged in something like a 'U' shape. The walls were white, but there were plenty of pictures of grass, other monsters, fruit and other plants filling up the white space.

As soon as Toriel came in, the monsters fell silent immidiently and looked at her. There was no fear that made them go quiet, it was deep respect, awe and anticipation, and you felt how you respected Toriel much more now. She truly was good at what she did.

The monsters were many different types. You thought of the species you knew and recognized a Vegetoid and a Froggit, but not much more. They were all sorts of shapes and sizes, some reminding you of plants, some of cartoon drawn insects and some reminding you of birds, but also some you could not compare to anything. Every monster was unique in it's very own way, even if it was the same species as another.

You smiled at them and Toriel sat down at the front desk. There were two chairs and she motioned for you to sit as well. You had already been thinking of how you would communicate with them on the way here. They may be teaching sign language in monster schools, but that didnt mean you could use only that and that they would all understand what you had to say.

But you still wanted to help Toriel, and you felt proud that you got over that damn stubborness of yours and you were now willing to speak. It would be quiet, but still. You could grow used to talking again, even if you still prefered sign language.

'Good morning, children. Today, as you can see, I have brought along a guest. Meet (y/n), everyone. She will be helping me for this class. Shes my official daughter, actually'

Your heart warmed at the word daughter. How in hell did you get so damn lucky to be called that by the kindest and most motherly person in the world? You blushed a bit and smiled brighter as a choir of happy children answered their teacher.

'Good morning, Toriel and miss (y/n)'

You lifted your hands and signed a 'Good morning to you too'. You would only talk if necessary, and the young monster sprouts clearly understood what you had signed as they all smiled back as well.

'She will use sign language most of the time, but can talk quietly as well, if needed'

You nodded and Toriel told them to start with their work and then turned to you to tell you what this class was about. It was an afternoon free working class, so most of the students will be working on homework or just some quiet activity like reading or drawing when they were done with that. You could just help Toriel in going around and clearing up questions. If they were something you did not know the answer to, you could just call her or catch her attention some other way.

When you had understood your task, most of the monsters already had their things out and some had lifted their hand, branch, leaf, paw, claw or whatever was equivalent in functions to a human hand. It was still clear wether they were asking for help or not though, and it was surprisingly quiet. Usually the teacher had to scream and yell for silence for the first five minutes for everybody to just stop running around the room for once.

You started walking over and helping some students who thankfully all understood sign language better than you had expected. They all whispered or talked quietly, and you were just teaching a cute and absolutely adorably innocent bird monster how to draw some realistic grass, when a loud, childish 'NO!' made you look up for a moment.

Toriel was standing near a young vegatoid with thin, orange arms and very ruffled leaves. She was taken back and obviously trying to be patient with the child, although that didnt seem like it was working. You signed to the monster that you were helping that you wanted to help Toriel for a moment and they nodded understandingly.

When you came over, you could see the problem: There was a drawing on the table of the kid that was completely crossed out. It was a started house, but a line went clearly against perspective. You signed to Toriel that you would handle this, and although she seemed unsure, she nodded and went to help the others.

'How do you wanna help? You cant help me!'

*True. I cant help you if you dont explain the problem.

The child looked at you for a moment before blurting out everything.

'I started this picture in class and everybody said it was really good and I want to finish it now but I did it wrong and now its not perfect anymore but I want it to be perfect!'

There was frustration and annoyance in their voice. You nodded at them to show them that you listened. You knew a way out of this situation, and although it didnt seem like the kindest answer, you had to try things your way. You went, got yourself a stack of paper (Although it was only about 5 sheets pf paper) and put them on the student desk with a loud thud. Instead of signing, you quietly talked.

'If you want things to be perfect, you have to try again, and again, and again'

Hesitantly, the kid took another sheet of paper and began drawing. But they hurried too much and one of the lines went oddly to the side.

'Ugh! I cant, I cant, I cant! I cant do it!'

'Then you have to continue drawing the old picture'

Casting a glance over to the original, you could see stubborness in their eyes as they started again. Just when the monster wanted to go even quicker, you put your hand over theirs and slowed it down.

'Dont hurry. If things have to be perfect, then take your time. But it doesnt always have to be perfect, you know. Everybody is going to like the picture any way it turns out'

You stood up, cast them another smile and turned around once more to look at them.

'Oh, and one more thing. Dont ever tell yourself that you cant. Tell yourself that you can'

With that, you went back to the birdlike monster and continued to show them how to draw, while the other kid had calmed down and was quietly and slowly drawing on his sheets of paper.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

When you finally opened the door to home, you left it for Toriel to close as you went and slumped yourself onto the couch. You were completely tired out after helping all of the children do their things, provide them with a few ideas, teaching them how to draw and figuring out their homework to efficiently help them. Toriel laughed and closed the door gently, putting the keys away and then hurrying into the kitchen to make dinner. Asgore, sans and Papyrus were playing cards behind the couch near the stairs, and you cast a quick glance towards them to see that sans was winning by a mile. Not bad.

You decided to scribble about a bit before Toriel served dinner. You all ate in comfortable silence. Asgore asked about the school a few times, and how things had been, but that was just about it. Your friends went back to playing their game, and Papyrus seemed pretty serious about winning this time. They all stood up to walk over back to their cards.

Leaning back into the couch, you closed your eyes for a moment before getting up and preparing the couch for the night. As soon as you were done and already dressed in pajamas, the three monsters took their game upstairs and Toriel went to sleep as well.

It didnt take you too long to fall asleep, but you were glad you came with Tor- ...Mom today.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

 

A few weeks had passed now, and you were really living yourself in. You even started warming up enough to call Toriel 'mom' from time to time, and the 'welcome to the family party' went great. Frisk was truly a born party planner. You had learned how to cook so many more things and you were close friends with everyone now, even though you didnt manage to get too much closer to sans. You wanted to tell Toriel about the thing with him today though.

So right after you helped her clean up after dinner and everybody went to bed, you signed to her that you wanted to talk. She led you into her room and sat down on the bed before gesturing for you to sit down next to her. You did and turned towards her.

You wanted to think of a way you could get all the advice you needed without mentioning why you needed it, but you knew deep on the inside that that probably wouldnt work too well.

*I need some advice, actually. How do I approach someone who

You hesitated for a moment. How would you phrase this?

*How do I bring something like a message across without saying it? Or maybe

You tried to get your brain to think of a way to put this so Toriel didnt guess right away, but you werent having much luck.

*Maybe get to know someone more or just be better friends or maybe-

Toriel put one of her paws up, faced to you, telling you to stop. Your arms sunk and you folded your hands on your lap. It was something only Toriel did, but after being around her for some time, you had grown to use this gesture as well.

'(y/n), let me guess. You need to know how to tell someone that you like them a lot? Some monster called sans, perhaps?'

You felt your face start to heat up and cursed yourself for it as you buried it into your palms. Was it really that obvious? After a moment, you nodded, still not looking up so she wouldnt see you blush. She let out a soft laugh.

'It is alright. I had noticed something has been troubling you, my child. And usually, I would say to simply put all of your strength together and tell him, because I am sure he feels the same. But how things are right now, and with what research Alphys is doing... In just about two days, we will have a very important conference. During that, we will decide wether human and monster relationships and lovings should be allowed'

Her face was somewhat sad and deprived of hope as she was forced to add the last part. She was keeping her voice low and soft, but you couldnt help but ask her something, even if it meant she would see your embarressment. When you signed, you specifically went away from the word 'relationship', since it didnt seem fitting. It was nothing more but a crush, right?

*But why? Do humans still dislike monsters so much?

'Not really, that is not quite the problem. But during some reserach the royal scientist team and the human scientists have been doing, it is found that these relationships might be dangerous for both participants, both mentally and physically. And humans are very much afraid of that'

You nodded slowly, understanding that there was nothing your legal guardian could do about that. Humans were always like this. They were terrible and cowards, yes, but you couldnt just make them act differently. And what if it wasnt just a tad bit dangerous, but really dangerous? What could those dangers possibly be?

'Do not worry, (y/n). Alphys, Asgore, sans, Undyne, Frisk and I will do our very best to go against this rule and convince humans that there is nothing to fear. I cannot guarantee success, but I am sure we will not fail at this. Now, I think it is best if you rest now. Its already very late'

*Okay, Thank you. Goodnight!

'Goodnight, my child'

And with that, you stood up, went through the door and got to your sleeping place. Asgore and Undyne had offered to free one room completely to make it yours or maybe even have the house extended, but you assured them you didnt mind being where you were and that they should worry about political negotiations and not about where or how exactly you slept.

It took some time to get them away from the idea, but they eventually gave in and left the question open, which you were glad for. You didnt want to cause too much trouble for them, after all.

 

The day that they all had to leave for the meeting, you were left alone with Papyrus to play card and board games, but the waiting was still unbearable. The air was thick and neither of you talked very much. The skeleton tried to cheer you up from time to time, but it didnt really work as your stomach just churned in anticipation every time you thought about what was happening at the moment not even half a kilometer away.

The clock in the living room was ticking awfully loud and you felt strangely numb, but also extremely jumpy and nervous. Every sound seemed much louder than it would usually have to be and when the clock struck 5 PM, you jumped up from the loud noise.

Quickly calming down, you turned back to your board game and rolled the dice weakly before taking your figure and making it walk four spaces forward.

'LOOK, I KNOW THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHEER YOU UP BECAUSE OF WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, BUT ARE YOU SURE JUST SITTING HERE IN SILENCE IS THE BEST IDEA? IS THERE NOTHING ELSE TO DO, MAYBE SOMETHING THAT COULD HELP YOU CALM DOWN?'

You shook your head and continued to play, still trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. It shouldnt affect you, you werent in any kind of relationship, and why in hell should sans care about you? It couldnt possibly be true. It would be too good to be true, it seemed like a fairytale or a badly written fanfiction, so there was most likely something wrong with the rumor of him possibly liking you.

There was a ring at the door and you stood up, rushed over and opened it to find a troubled looking Toriel with all of your other friends behind her. Before you could do anything, a mixture of blue, black and white rushed past you as sans pushed you aside roughly, his hood over his skull as he went up the stairs and dissapeared.

You could feel Toriel put a hand on your shoulder for a moment before she sighed and then went upstairs after him. You stepped aside so the others could come in, and they cast you some strange glances as they were coming in. Undyne and Alphys said that they could only stay for some short tea, and you told them to sit down and went into the kitchen to make some.

When you came back, you found that Asgore, Papyrus and Frisk were nowhere to be seen, so you assumed that they were in their rooms. When you gave them their cups and sat down as well, they both stared silently into them. You snapped your fingers.

*What is it? Is something wrong?

Undyne cleared her throat and began speaking.

'(Y/n), are you sure you feel okay right now? I mean, you cant tell sans that you... well'

She went silent and you looked at her. No, you didnt feel okay at all. Your chest was hurting and twtching, but you just tried to smile weakly while waiting for Alphys to speak up, who obviously had something to say but took a moment to start.

'Y-you know, there are courses for soul debonding? I-I mean, you see, when two monsters like one another, their souls get to know one another as well, and if th-they, well, start liking one another r-romantically, their souls slowly start exchanging magic with every word spoken and every touch made, and then bond. B-bonds can be n-naturally broken, too, b-but there is a method thats faster and... less painful th-than just sitting it out'

You flinched at the words 'sitting it out', because it was exactly what you were planning on doing for the next few days, or even weeks.

'B-but, well, both the monster and the human have t-to be present'

Your gut twisted and you felt like you had to vomit when you thought about going up to sans and just saying, 'Hey, I know we never spoke about it, but I actually have a huge crush on you and our souls may have kind of bonded, wanna go to the Lab and debond em?' Definitly not.

*Im fine. I dont think our souls started bonding, so everything is fine. Besides, I told you already that I dont like him that way.

Undyne nearly leaped out of the couch when she saw your signing.

'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? You blush like mad every time we mention his name! And you never said anything against it before, you were always silent in wordless agreement!'

*What if it was wordless disagreement?

'WORDLESS DISAGREEMENT!?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS? You werent saying anything because you were stammering and becoming red all over your face!'

*So?

You felt stubborness and pride make their way into your heart, blinding your logical sight and making you angry at everything.

'SO? SO YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM! A WHOLE LOT! VERY. VERY. OBVIOUSLY!'

Undyne was clearly loosing control and was already standing in the small gap between the couch and the table, staring down at you with anger written all over her face. Oh, and across her entire body gesture, too.

*You cant prove that.

'I-I dont think you sh-should anger U-und-'

Before Alphys could finish her warning, there was a tug as you clearly broke her patience quite easily and she grabbed you by the collar to lift you up. You hardly bat an eye as anger was writhing inside you and turning into pure, cold calmness, making the blazing winter in your heart more than just cold. You were freezing from the inside out.

Undyne's face was just an Inch from yours, and you could feel her body radiate with heat as she looked absolutely _mad_. After a moment of staring at you, seeing that you didnt react in any way at all, she breathed out and set you back on your feet.

You cast her another glance, then turned around on your heel, beelined to Toriel's room and slammed the door shut behind you. Toriel had been sitting at her desk and putting her signature on some papers when you stormed in. She immidiently stood up and stopped mid-signature (and you were pretty sure the paper had been an important one) and walked over to you.

You both sat down on her bed and you cried yourself out. You told her about how you didnt feel a thing when you were being cold, how you didnt know how to live with the pain of loosing someone so close because you never had anyone that close, even if it wasnt really that close at all, how you felt like you failed everyone for not being strong enough to take this and how you had to put up the facade of never having liked him at all.

She listened to your endless ramble, never stopping you or growing bored of what you had to say, and when you were done, she started ensuring you that you hadnt failed anyone, that you were still strong and that everything would be fine. It calmed you down, even though you knew that not much of what she was saying was true. Of course you failed everyone. You always did, and whatever you did was never going to be enough.

'It is alright, (y/n). Everything will be alright'

You kept worlessly crying for another 5 minutes, but then you calmed down and Toriel asked wether she should tell Undyne and Alphys to head home already so you could get some rest, and you nodded. You didnt feel like facing them right now, but you told Toriel to say sorry to them for you and she smiled as she hurried out.

Your eyes were dry, you had calmed down and you decided to prepare for bed, so when Toriel came back, you had already dressed so you could go to sleep. It wasnt too dark outside yet and the clock read 8 PM, but you felt tired enough to go to sleep early. Toriel also told you that your two friends had accepted your apology and wished you a good night, wich made you smile despite the circumstances.

When you went to your usual sleeping place, you found that the blanket was different. It was a night dark blue with yellow cartoon stars and silver smiling moons all over it. You gasped and ran towards it, hugging it tightly. You turned to see Toriel standing there, a happy expression on her face.

*Thank you so much for this! I love it!

'Haha, I am very glad you like it, my child. I thought it might lift your mood!'

You huddled into the blanket once more before you laid down and Toriel came over to you to wish you goodnight once more before leaving for her room. You turned to face the back of the couch, closed your eyes and let your thoughts drift off.

You remembered the one time Toriel had kissed you goodnight, but noticed your reaction soon after. You felt terrible, but you had to explain to her that you were extremely sensitive to touches, and she understood completely. She still cared for you in every way possible, and it warmed your heart to see how much she _truly_   cared. It was the most in depth mother-daughter relationship you ever had or could think of.

You sighed as you pushed the part of your thoughts that was unpleasant away, trying to think of nothing more but how you were safe now, how they all cared about you and you cared about them. You would absolutely destroy anyone who would try to hurt them at all costs, and you knew that they would protect you just as fiercely.

You smiled when your thoughts slowly faded into nothingness only to come back in the form of pleasant and wonderful dreams.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

 

You stared into your mug of orange juice as if searching for answers in it's rough texture. About a week had passed, and it was saturday, the morning after the weekly friday get-together. You had helped Toriel clean up everything and thought about what the main topic had been that evening.

Your monster friends wanted to go on a camping trip into Mt. Ebott, as they said, to 'recover memories' and 'remember old times'. They began talking about who would come and who had to stay behind, and you naturally thought you would have to stay since you didnt have any kind of connection to the Underground at all, yet they insisted you to come.

The plan was to leave behind Toriel, Asgore, Frisk and Papyrus and let you, Undyne, Alphys, sans, Mettaton and Flowey go on the trip. You felt a bit uneasy being the only one in unfamiliar terrain, but they all assured you that they were going to have a lot of fun together, except for Flowey, who just sat there and grumbled something about 'stupid useless trips'.

You furrowed your eyebrows and took another sip of your juice, then licked your lips in thought as you began to stare out the window. It was a clear day outside, but you never really felt like going anywhere, not to mention a camping trip. You just werent much of an outside-person.

But you knew that you couldnt deny the offer, they had all been so happy when Mettaton suggested to take you to the trip as well. Mettaton wasnt someone you personally liked too much, but he acted quite okay with the others around. There was obviously much more to him than just a boastful, ignorant and greedy media star.

He seemed to like you and kept pretending that you had been friends for years, which annoyed you a bit sometimes, and you werent too fond of how he carried himself, but it was really okay. You were a bit unsure why Papyrus ad Frisk couldnt come, but Undyne whispered something like it being for the 'adults' to take some time off, and you had to agree that classifying Papyrus as an adult was kindof hard at times.

You gushed down the rest of the orange juice and put the glass in the sink, then hesitated for a moment before washing it right away. You didnt want Toriel to have any extra work when she had to manage politics all on her own with Asgore for three days in about a week.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

 

'ALRIGHT! Got some clothes, basic stuff, some paper...? Aaand your flashlight too, I see.  Wait, WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A BOOK?'

You snatched your bag away from Undyne, giving her a displeased look about her searching your bag like that. She just shrugged.

'Hey, we're gonna throw everything together anyways'

You didnt exactly know what to do about that and you were increadibly nervous and on edge about this trip. Sans hadnt left your mind, and you still felt a bit strange around him. Despite everything your rational and logical mind was telling you, you kept trying to find ways of how he was perfect for some reason...

You sighed. You HATED having a crush. It was one of the worst things to have because it only feels good at first, just to scoop down low after you find out that the other person cant stand you. It had always been that way.

You put your bag over your shoulder and went over to Alphys, who was standing over some indestinctable lumps, one purple and the other light blue. 

'(Y/n), which tent color do you think is better? The p-purple one also has some yellow details, while the other one is just plain. What do you think?'

You looked over the two tents and set your bag down to look at them a little bit closer. You were about to sign blue, but then remembered who this color reminded you of and told her that the Purple one would be better with it's details and such. Besides, it was fitting for a girl tent.

Flowey, sans and Mettaton were sleeping in one tent, while you, Alphys and Undyne had your own. Undyne was also going to carry most of your stuff, and you were going to help Alphys carry a small bag with delicate tools that used a lot of magic to work and were going to be extremely useful.

You technically told the others you wouldnt bring them along, but Undyne had a pretty big prank war planned and you couldnt go without them, so you just pretended that they were your things so nobody would look inside your bags and Undyne would just say that she brought a hella load of anime stuffs.

So when Undyne had all of your bags, you picked up the second one filled with tools and Alphys picked the first. Just as you were about to go out the door with them, there were multiple 'thud's from behind and you whipped around just in time to see sans falling to the floor. Had he just tumbled down the stairs like that?

You let out a snort and he looked up, clearly pissed.

'yeah yeah, go on and laugh at my misery. fact is i have some metal butt to not only kick, but break completely'

His magic flaired up and you jumped out just in time to see Mettaton being levitated downstairs and then slammed against the floor with full force. You quickly closed the door and hoped that they would be alright as you made your way to the car.

The 'girls group' would use the car first and get to the camping site, and then one of you would drive back and get the others. You all made out for Undyne to go because she had the least chance of spilling something about that prank war.

The drive wouldnt take too long, so you would have to hurry to have everything built up by the time the male group arrived, a hard task without Undyne. You didnt want to leave open any weak spots, after all. You usually werent much for pranks, but when you have a team to play them on and a team on your side executing them with you, you couldnt think of anything more fun.

You got in the car quickly and took the back seat while your two friends took the front seats. Undyne started driving like crazy and you were really afraid the car would just roll over any moment, but she explained that if she hurried now and went slow when driving the others, that would give you and alphys more time to build up your things.

Mt. Ebott had gone through some restaurations in the past years and had both a driveway, sealed off areas and, obviously, plenty of camping areas. Toriel had made sure to reserve a huge area to give you all the space you needed, and you were really thankful for that.

Looking out the window, a thought suddenly crossed your mind and you wondered how you could sign to Alphys with her in the front seat. You tried snapping your fingers, and to your surprise, she actually turned around to look at you.

*Shouldnt we have a team name?

There was e moment of realization before Alphy's face lit up and she turned around to Undyne, excited.

'Hey, undyne, (y/n) signed that we need a team name!'

'OH MY GOD YES! Why didnt we think of that? WE TOTALLY NEED THE MOST BADASS NAME IN HISTORY OF PRANK WARS!'

You had to snap your fingers again to sign, and you were glad to have made them so happy with your spontanious idea.

You spent the rest of the car drive signing names and Alphys telling Undyne what you were signing, and eventually, you settled on 'The Daredevils'. You personally thought it was an amazing name, and Alphys and Undyne mentioned something about anime, but you didnt really care where the name came from as long as it sounded worthy of your group.

When you arrived, you were pleasantly surprised at the camping site. It looked a lot like the surface, and Alphys explained that it was where Snowdin had been with it's constant snowing, but after the Core didnt need any more cooling, it was turned into a summer forest where you could camp all year around.

You listened in awe as you began setting everything up and Undyne helped you with the tent before she had to leave to get the others here as well. Getting everything done didnt take as long as you thought it would, and you and Alphys were done fairly quickly.

The tent covered a square area and had a fairly high ceiling, probably due to Undyne having to be able to stand in it. It was bigger than any tent you had ever seen, and there was enough room for all of you to sleep in it very comfortably. The ground was laid out with tons of air matresses and the first thing you did was fall into them and look up at the sky through the small hole at the top.

From your perspective, the place looked a bit like a kathedral. It thinned out towards the top and had a hole there in case you wanted to make a fire or grill in here, which apparently was also an option in case it rained. And it did rain frequently enough even though it was Underground. Probably Magic.

You had the chance to talk with Alphys one on one, and you only gained even more respect for her when you realized just how much of a genious she really was. You enjoyed listening to her explain various things about the Underground and how it worked, and she was pleased to see that you werent bored by her in the slightest. It was far more interesting than anime stuffs, if you were completely honest.

When the others came and started setting up, you found out that the tent even had windows and peeking holes so you could spy on them. The first prank was going to be toothpaste along their tent zippers. Their tent was just a tad bit smaller than yours and had a gigantig MTT brand on it, and you had to smile as you thought just how much that brand must be annoying Sans already. Actually, all three of them should be pissed at one another right now.

 

In the evening, you all gathered in the girl tent and Undyne started giving out beer. You kindly refused the offer and went on to just watch the others talk and enjoy themselves. Everything was actually going pretty great until Undyne jumped up and yelled,

'EVERYBODY! LETS PLAY TRUTH OF DARE!'

You began getting up to sit in the corner once more since you only intended on watching as everybody else began sitting in a circle. They all tried to get you to join them, but werent able to convince you in the slightest. Undyne started and dared Mettaton to do an ugly pose, and he was very displeased, but he had to and then everybody laughed and after a moment of embarressment, Mettaton laughed as well.

You smiled, seeing them laugh like that together. It was really all you needed to be happy: Seeing _them_   happy. Mettaton then dared Alphys to reveal a secret, and only after a lot of motivation and a suggestion whispered in her ear from Undyne did she comply.

She said that she actually made an anime figure of Undyne a long time ago when they werent together yet, and seemed embarressed, but everybody just found it cute and Undyne hugged her girlfriend until she was red like a tomato.

Alphys was about to ask Flowey something, who hadnt been doing much at all yet, when Undyne looked over to you.

'Hey, (y/n), you sure you dont wanna join? Come on. If somethin is too much of an uncomfortable request, we wont force you to do it'

You looked at her with curiosity. She was obviously planning something, judging by how much desperation she had to bring you to play as well. But what could it be? And if you could really just deny or even lie, what was the harm?

*What are you planning?

'Whaaat? Im not PLANNING anything!'

You raised an eyebrow at her and she just shrugged. And either everybody was in on it, or they really had some burning questions, because everybody started urging you to play. They didnt force you, but you didnt have enough willpower to resist their pleads, so you gave an annoyed sound and sat down next to Undyne in the gap between her and Mettaton.

The round kept going as usual, nothing particulair happening, until is was Undyne's turn. You had already thought about what to say incase she asked something like to reveal your feelings, because you were definitly lying at that point, and you didnt even have to fear confusing sans, because he could see your soul and would know that you lied.

'Truth or dare, (y/n)?'

*Truth.

'ALRIGHT! (y/n), do you have a crush on sans?'

You knew it. It was nothing you shouldnt have expected, so you were completely prepared, calmly put on your very best poker face possible and shook your head, casting a glance to sans who had a similair expression, but you could see him give a quick look over your body and blush just a little faint bit. To him, and only him, you had confessed, and just confused everyone else. This was really something you could have fun with in the future.

'OH COME ON! FINE! THEN I DARE YOU TO HOLD YOUR FACE ONE SINGLE INCH AWAY FROM HIS FOR A WHOLE MINUTE TO PROVE IT! EYES OPEN AND AS SOON AS YOU TOUCH YOU LOOSE AND YOU OFFICIALLY ADORE HIM!'

There were 'ohhhhh's going through the room and your face froze. You didnt know what to do, not having calculated such a reaction from Undyne.

'oh come on undyne, thats hardly fair. it isnt even your turn!'

You nodded your head at her and wondered wether your soul was dying or reincarnating itself right now, but judging from sans' glance, it was probably the latter.

'WHY? Are you scared you wont be able to resist and KISS?'

There were giggle and whispers across the room and you felt anger boil inside you as you let your coldest glance go across the room, meeting every single one of your friends' eyes and making them go silent in an instant.

*You said that if I didnt want to do something, I didnt have to. I only joined the game under those conditions.

'FINE! ITS NOT A GAME ANYMORE THEN! Its an official dare from a WARRIOR! NOW COME ON! Or are you scared you wont be able to resist hiiiiiim?'

Your face had alredy been on the verge of breaking, and now you couldnt hold back a blush and buried it in your hands.

'Or just answer the question correctly: Do. you. have. a. crush. on. him.'

You looked up at her, feeling as stubborn as ever. You knew it was a stupid move to make, but you shook your head firmly and everyone gave a resignated sigh, while sans gave a light chuckle that made you whip around to shoot him an angry glare that was close to turning into a smile.

Your heart was fluttering and you were pretty sure he could see that clear as day. But after a moment of staring off into the distance, his expression changed completely and he had his void eyes again that made you shiver and look back to Undyne. Big mistake.

She had her eyebrows raised and was challengingly looking at you. Suddenly, something strange sparked up inside you and you felt determined as ever to make her believe that you didnt like him. Your face went back to the perfect poker face and you cast a glance over your shoulder at him for a moment as if not being able to care less before looking back at her.

*Im not scared of anything! I would just feel uncomfortable!

You nearly facepalmed yourself because you indirectly accepted her challenge, but then only crossed your arms over your chest and looked at her like with a slightly lifted nose and a squinted gaze.

'Prove it'

Before you could do anything, you felt magic fling through the air and you were suddenly whipped around and found yourself sitting infront of sans. He had used his powers to move you to a proper spot, and then he took his hand, grabbed you by the collar and pulled you close to keep an exact, agonizing inch distance.

'Starting the clock already!'

Alphys called out towards you two and you heard some metallic clicking. Your gaze couldnt escape anywhere and you felt heat all over your face. His eyes were still voids, and when his pupils slowly came back, he had an extremely determined look on his face to go through this challenge with flying colors. He wasnt even blushing yet.

The way he looked at you with cold eyes made you shiver and his grip tightened when you tried to pull away a bit out of instinct. You were feeling extremely tempted already, and you kept thinking how impossible this was. How purely impossible it would be, and you hoped that sans had his magic to back things up.

Even if that would be considered cheating, you didnt care much for that right now.

After a moment, his face started significantly softening and a blush creeped into his face as well, getting worse every moment. You made a mental note to play the meanest and biggest prank on Undyne after this.

You were both clearly bothered by the distance, and you knew that even if you made it, it would be hard to pull away and everybody would know by your state and your faces that you didnt have to fail the challenge to prove that you liked one another whole lot.

You were getting together your last scraps of willpower to keep yourself in the same position, and it really didnt help to see sans with the most adorable blush ever on his face, and 'right infront of you' would be an understatement. You were just waiting for Alphys to tell you that the minute was over and-

'Alright! Your thirty seconds in!'

You took a sharp, small breath in and bit your lip. This was much harder than you had thought, and you knew that there was no way out of it. You werent going to make it at this rate...

You felt some pressure loosen and you heard some shuffeling as sans' hands left your collar and he shakily clenched them together to not do anythig stupid. You had both your hands balled to fists and were already really loosing it.

'Twenty more seconds!'

You bit your lip harder and felt like your soul was dying from being so close and not touching him. Your stomach was wrenching and there was desire taking over your mind, slowly surpressing your willpower as you felt how you gave up. They could punish you, make you go through soul-debonding over and over again or call you a monster lover for your entire life and it would be worth it. Your ears went deaf and all you could see was his face.

You gulped and felt yourself shake, your face coming juuust a quarter inch closer. You werent able to take any more of this torture. You let your gaze rest on his moving pupils, and he looked back at you, before a small smile stretched across his face and a hardly noticable nodd came from him as you felt him lean in, letting his lip-like white protective mass very similair to human lips slowly touch yours, but only barely scrape them, resulting in the worst teasing method you could think of.

You threw any remaining self control out the window at that point and let your hands reach out to take the back of his skull and press your mouth onto his. His sortof lips were a little bit tougher than a human's lips, but your mouths worked together perfectly as you couldnt help yourself and sank in deep enough to melt into a tongue kiss.

He let out a noise of surprise before sinking into the feeling as well, one of his hands on your waist and the other at the back of your neck, gripping your hair and pressing on as well. Your arms were around his neck and you shuffeled in your position to be closer.

It felt amazing. Purely amazing. You were happy, excited and hopeful at the same time. It felt like stepping into heaven and being welcomed with open arms by angels. It felt sweet and delicious, like licking on Heart Frosting.

You were both running out of air to breathe, but you kept at it for a moment longer before having to pull away. Your mind began thinking straight again and you looked around to see your monster friends staring at you. You felt embarressment all over your face and hid it in your palms, taking them away from sans. 

And the only thoughts that kept crossing your mind were... _Why had that felt so damn good? Why did it feel better than winning in the Lottery, fixing the world single handidly put together, and then some?_

Sans had a smililair reaction, getting his hands back to himself and hiding his blush in his hoodie. Then, slowly, there was _clapping_   from the others as they bagan to laugh and whisper. You didnt care as you just sat there, your mind already making a plan on destroying Undyne's reputation for good as a punishment for destroying yours.

You instinctively pulled your own hoodie over your head and hid in it, hoping that they would all keep their mouths shut about this in the future. Hoping... for _them_ , and _their_   safety.

You felt cramped and claustrophobic with everybody around you all of a sudden, an unexplainable feeling telling you that you needed space and air. You just wanted to get away from here.

You let a growl from your throat and your gaze shot up to meet Undyne's. She was _smiling_. Abruptly standing up, you went over to her, stood before her for a moment before reaching out with your hand and bitch-slapping her across the face. A red 10 bounced up and dissapeared.

You knew enough about HP and also were aware that Undyne had plenty of it, and sans only had 1. You didnt want to actually hurt them, just show how pissed you really were.

'OW!'

Undyne stumbled back a bit and you rushed past her, running out of the tent and hoping to just get lost in the woods for good. They sure were big enough for that to happen, and you didnt care about anything. Blindly rushing past the trees and bushes, you remembered what way the main area was and went exactly into the opposite direction.

You heard some steps behind you, but you didnt care as you continued to run further, tears pricking at your eyes, and you only stopped a while after you quit hearing steps behind you. You sighed, looking around the place. At least you didnt have to feel bad about crying here.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

You had cried completely through the night in guilt and fear and used your for once good memory to return to the camp in the morning, and everybody was extremely relieved to see you and didnt mention sans once. The rest of the camping trip went okay, but the prank war hadnt been as intense as everybody would have hoped.

Still, you all had fun, but you refused to talk a single word to sans in fear of what he would say. You didnt join any more rounds of truth or dare and often times just found yourself staring into nothingness in thought.

When you were back home, you tried to put up a facade that you were fine, and everybody had promised to not mention what had happened to anyone, and Undyne had admitted it was stupid of her to force you into something like that.

You forgave her, it wasnt her fault that you liked sans still. Sure, she pushed it, but she was somewhat drunk and had only wanted the best. Besides, it was you who kept provoking her, so you were kindof to blame for what had happened as well.

 

It was just one entire night and day after the trip and you were trying your best to fall asleep. Everything you could think of was how good that had felt, how heavinly and at the same time slightly sinful that feeling had been. You wanted to do that... to kiss him again like that. These thoughts kept paining your head and you tossed and turned a lot, but eventually, as the clock struck about 3 AM, you found some rest.

 

 

\----------------------------------------

 

 

_The sky was pitch black, or at least you thought so at first for some reason as you looked around and saw that everything  was pitch black. Was the sky even anywhere near you? You tried to turn around, but then there was suddenly some pain in your neck and all over your shoulders and you couldnt move at all._

_The world started forming around you as if it were being made out of black goo and you started to panic, frantically trying to move, but you couldnt. Then you suddenly were able to move again as you fell to your knees when the world tilted from side to side._

_Then you heard it. Laughter._

_It came from everywhere, and instead of the strange black mass becoming objects, it formed into people with horrible faces. They looked like straight out of hell and were screaming, laughing and making the entire world spin._

_You wanted to tell them to stop, but for some reason, you couldnt. You didnt have enough strength to do anything, not even stand up anymore. You wanted to scream so badly, but you just couldnt as they all seemed to come closer and closer, moving around you in a circle, their smiling and screeching faces spinning around your vision._

_They were circeling even closer now, and you could see their gigantic hands stretch forward, their mouthes opening wide and drooling. The hands started touching you everywhere, and just as one was about to grab your neck and then move closer to stretch his head out towards you, you saw that his eyes were an auborn brown and had murder written in their pure, black pupils._

 

You sat up immidiently and found yourself covered in sweat as the image of that black, dripping face wouldnt leave your mind. You shivered and felt fear in your chest as you were on the verge of a panic attack. Your breathing was irregulair, you felt like you werent getting enough air and that you were going to burn alive or your heart was randomly going to stop.

Your chest felt tight and was hurting, and you buried yourself under your blanket and waited your panic attack out. It felt terrible, like you would die at any moment, but after a while, it got better and you were brave enough to look around the room.

You didnt spot anything and tried to tell yourself that there was nothing there. You felt memories in your chest and you tried to push them back, but your mind wasnt having it when exhaustion took over you and you fell asleep forcefully, falling face first into your pillow.

 

_You heard them. The screams._

_They were coming not from too far away, and you were crying. You felt small and completely helpless as the terrible screams continued. They were from one single person, a woman._

_You tried to move, to help or flee, but there was absolutely nothing you could do. The screams continued and you felt pain hover in the air. You looked around and stared straight into the face of a hurt and absolutely horrified young woman that you felt a strong connection to. Your... mother._

_You felt yourself stumble up despite this power pulling you down and you screeched something. Only after you did, did you realize what you had said._

_'Dont hurt her! Ill do anything you want me to, just dont hurt her!'_

_There it was, this terrible laughter again that you had heard a million echoes of in every single one of your Nightmares._

_**Anything, really?** _

_You felt yourself nodd and start pleading, and the voice just laughed again._

_**Alright. How about you come with me, for starters!** _

_You knew that it didnt mean well, but you looked at this woman who had a kind, yet also cold expression on her face. You had a feeling that the cold never left her, and it never could, either. And it wont ever leave you._

 

Jumping up from your nightmarish flashback, you felt your soul press on in your chest and you groaned as your vision flickered once more and you were thrown back into the hellish world that you had just escaped out of through your fear.

 

 

_You were standing there, in a dark, small room. It wasnt funished at all and your sight and control were a bit better. You felt your face as if it were a cold mask, unable to change or express any emotion at all. In the middle of the room was a dark silhouette that you couldnt make out exactly, but you knew what, or rather who, it was. She had her head lowered._

_There was this terrible laughter behind you that made you grip the object in your hand tighter. You looked down to see that it was a metal knife, and you knew exactly what you had to do. What you had, what you just had to do. There was no way around it._

_You heard his voice in the back of your mind as it was seeping in and making you go insane. Taking a step forward, you heard somewhat of a whimper and then the lights were suddenly turned on, and you could see the woman from before tied frimly to a chair._

_She was hurt and bruised, a whimper, whisper or a plead coming from her every now and then as you took another step, hearing a growl come out of your chest. You didnt want to, but there was no way around it. The cold and the voice were continuing to push you forward to the inevitable._

_Lifting your hand, you saw her lift her face just a bit to make you see how terribly hurt she really was. You felt anger rise inside of you. Not even at anybody specific, but at yourself. After all..._

_**You werent worth anything, nothing more but a tool .** _

**_Everything was always your fault. You  hurt her,  you  hurt  them ._  
**

_**You were the reason everything was happening. You always fail everyone and at everything.** _

_You didnt notice the two tears that came out of your emotionless eyes as you launched forward with your weapon, ramming it into your own mother's chest and twisting it around to make a gut wrenching sound._

_There wasnt even a scream, all she did was give a last smile, a gurgle and then her eyes fell back in her head. You felt relief wash over you. It was done. Your weapon fell to the ground with a loud clatter and you collapsed before the lifeless body. You whipped your head around to hear that cold sound again._

_More... Laughter._

 

When you woke up this time, you were gripping your blankets and crying violently as your entire body shook, but your soul wasnt done yet. You let out a plead, but nothing was working to keep everything down. You had one more vision to go.

 

_Slash._

_Blood. It started dripping and staining everything._

_Slash, crack, slash._

_More blood, a distorted limb._

_Crack, wretch._

_Nearly there._

_Wretch, wretch, swump._

_There it was, your bloody trophy laying calmly in you hand. A wretched out arm. You swung it around, but it wasnt worth anything anymore, so you threw it to the ground. Your head jabbed up as a gray door opened and a dark figure stepped in._

_He let his gaze wander across the mess inside the room. There were three human bodies spread out, all lifeless. One had a chopped off head, the other had lost both his arms and the third had a cut open stomach with disgusting intestants slowly sliding out._

_There was a purr from the silhouette as he took a step forward and growled,_

_**Perrrfect.** _

_**Now THIS!  
** _

_**is** _

_**My** _

 

_**~Daughter~** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im really sorry for this chapter. I just. Im a sadistic murderer, I know, I know. But hey, I wouldnt be called 'ScrewYourHappyEnding' if I wasnt.


	6. Face your Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme song: Meiko - Leave The Lights On (Culture Code Remix) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk2WL8nLPZY

'(y/n)? (Y/N)! Please, calm down. It is alright, see? I am here!'

Your mind was numb and the cold creeped in from all sides as you started kicking around yourself, screaming and crying out in agony of all of the impossible to handle guilt that was absolutely destroying you.

'Please, calm down. It was just a bad dream, and you are awake!'

Your violent cries and screams continued, soon turning into a mixture of the words 'Im sorry' and 'Please kill me'. You felt like your soul was absolutely dying.

Just when you thought that maybe, just maybe you were grasping your reality a bit better now, you felt pain like you had never before in your chest as the very top of your soul. There was small scream from Toriel as you felt a tug in your chest and could make out a dark aqua glow before you.

You were still struggeling against powers you did not know, but knew were bad, when suddenly strange magic gripped your body and you gasped as you were unable to move at all.

You tried your best, but you just couldnt move and you spotted the most beautiful shade of blue radiating off your skin. Seeing it, your normal memories came flooding back, but the pain in your soul was still killing you.

You could see it from your half-sat up positon and you saw a big, fluffy white paw come near it and let glowing green streams of green magic sicker into the black crack coming from the top of your soul, and you were pretty sure it was where all of your pain was coming from.

The sensation eased after a moment and you took a deep breath of air as the magic that had been paralyzing you let you move again and you began to shiver before starting to say the words 'Im sorry' over and over and over.

They began to mumble together and you felt Toriel embrace you, the effects of her healing your soul setting in and calming you down enough to think straight, and you realized they had just heard you talk for the very first time.

Wait... _they?_

You pulled away softly and looked around a semi-dark room, to see a hooded and clearly pretty worried figure standing there. But a moment after your gazes met, his pupils vanished and it grew to a face of anger as you stared into two complete, dark voids.

Had he seen _all_ of that?

You shivered under his cold stare and looked away, hurt in both your soul and your heart. You decided to embrace Toriel again and process everything you had just dreamed about, or, more accuratly, remembered after so much time of pushing everything down.

You closed your eyes and tried to make everything sink in. The magic from your new mother was definitly helping a lot, and you hugged her tighter. You werent sobbing anymore, but you still felt absolutely miserable.

You were pretty sure that her magic was the only possible way you were staying sane right now, and you even felt this strange type of insanity and pain come up sometimes, but be pushed down right away.

You cast a worried glance over to sans once more who stared right back, his white pupils still absent. When you heard his voice, you flinched back in shock.

' _the more you know..._ '

Toriel spoke up.

'Sans, we do not know what happened in her recollection dreams. It could have been anything'

'except it couldnt. i can see souls, remember? and look into them at will'

Your stomach turned and another sobb escaped your throat as your soul began to hurt more than ever. He hated you. He would never forgive you, and much less would you forgive yourself. 

Even if you were forced to do what you did, it was still unacceptable and unforgivable, even if it happened so long ago and you were young. Still.

'Its alright, (y/n), shhhh, my child... Would you like to talk about it?'

'i dont think you want to know the truth, tori. the less you know, the better you sleep at night'

You just nodded as you tried to scrunch together in a tight ball and turn away from both of them. Pulling away from Toriel, you hugged your knees, hurt and disgusting sobs coming from you, the pain you were feeling carrying on in the sound.

'Oh dear, my child, please. I only wish to help you, and shutting yourself away from everyone is not the right way to go about things!'

You just shook your head, unable to sign or speak. You felt her put a hand on your shoulder and you flinched, but the movement was hardly noticable through all of your shaking and hurting.

'tori, i thi-'

'QUIET'

You whinced at Toriel's harsh tone as she silenced sans and turned to you, trying to get you to open up, but you couldnt. All you could think of was how Sans hated your guts. How they all will hate your guts when they find out, and how they will wish you just died in that trash dump from the very start, or that you hadnt even been born in the first place.

And you kept sobbing. After a while, you noticed sans leave, a partly pained, but at the same time angry expression on his face. Toriel couldnt get you to open up at all, you didnt even want to face her. And despite everything, she too was scared of what you had seen in your flashbacks, of what you had done in your past, and after a few hours, she left as well, probably to get some rest.

**See? Everybody left you. You were worth nothing after all. They cared about the person you never truly were, the person you pretended to be.**

You were still sobbing, but your tears were getting less and less frequent because your body wasnt hydrated enough to keep them going. When you stopped crying, you were able to shakily stand up, your only goal being a glass of water.

When you finally reached the kitchen and let the cold, soothening liquid gush down your throat, you heard steps coming from the living room and step to the entrance of the kitchen. Setting the glass down and letting out a few shaky breaths with closed eyes before turning to the monster standing there, you couldnt help but wonder wether all of your friends would continue to let you stay. If they even classified as friends anymore.

Sans was standing there, his hood casting a shadow on his face. His head was lowered and you couldnt make out his expression. Then he suddenly looked up, mainly looking neutral, but you didnt believe that for a single second. 

Suddenly, there was a strange flash before your eyes. It was like somebody had put a picture into the movie or video that was your sight for only a few frames in about the spot where sans' chest would be. The image had been an upside down, bright bright blue colored heart that was clearly in pain, writhing and fighting against what was being done.

You realized that you must have seen sans' soul for a brief moment, however in hell that was possible. It shouldnt be, yet you had seen it clear as day, and although it looked a bit better than yours, it didnt look too healthy at all. 

What could he possibly be struggeling with that bad? You knew why _you_   felt guilty. But what could he had possibly done or what in the world would make him feel this broken down? Surely he was too perfect to make any big mistakes that could break him like that?

You shook your head when you realized you had been staring. You looked at your glass again, hesitated for a moment and then put it away to face Sans once more.

*What is it?

He seemed lost in thought, but he picked up your signing and sighed.

'i gotta show you somethin, but you'll have to get dressed for it'

You sighed, and then nodded and smiled. The picture of his soul growing darker and twisting more and more filled your vision for a brief moment. Last time he had shown you something it was the beautiful sunrise, so you trusted him on something like this. But why did he innerly seem so pained by the situation?

You walked past him and heard him go up the stairs as you picked out your clothes from near the couch. Toriel had probably prepared those for you before she went to her own room and you made a mental note to apologize to her about earlier. She probably felt horrible and it pained you to think of it, since she had saved your soul from being shattered in two just a few hours ago.

When you were dressed, you noticed that it was already slowly becoming dark outside, so the sun had already set some time ago. What could he possibly want to show you? Maybe he wanted to explain something, or just talk in private somewhere outside on a walk?

You decided to just wait until you found out. When you approached the stairs, sans teleported right infront of you and you jumped a little, but quickly caught yourself and then felt him grab your wrist tightly and tug you out of the house.

You already had your jacket on you and it wasnt too cold outside. It was dry, but not too dry, a nice temperature for a walk, actually. He didnt talk the entire way and didnt let go of your wrist either, grabbing it tightly and walking very quickly, his grip becoming rougher with every step.

You didnt know what to make of the situation, and you felt uneasy, but you had no choice but to trust him. He had saved your life plenty of times, after all, and you still owed everything to him, so whatever it could be, you werent going to complain.

Sans suddenly stopped abruptly and you nearly bumped into him, but were able to catch yourself just in time as he slowly let go of your wrist. He turned to you and you immidiently began to sign before he could say anything.

*Why are we here? What is this place?

You felt especially uneasy because it reminded you of your time on the streets, and for a moment, you wondered wether he wanted to return you where he found you back then, but you knew that the others wouldnt allow it as long as they didnt know the full story. But what if he really had seen everything and intended to tell them? Would they still want you back? Probably not.

Tears of fear pricked at your eyes and you saw a flash of his soul being near completely black and you held back a gasp at how terribly hurt it looked. Then he shut his eyesockets, turned around and left you where you were. You were about to go after him to ask what he was doing, when something blocked your path.

You were staring into the eyes of a human who had stepped between you, and a quick look around made you see that he wasnt the only one there. Most of them were males, but there were some females as well, all young adults. You hadnt seen them coming because you had been so worried about sans' soul. You began to panic as they formed something like a circle around you, and something strong in your soul resonated as you felt your heart urge you to focus, to concentrate.

And so you did, shut your eyes tight for a brief moment, making a mental note to keep a knife with you from now on at all times, following these strange new instincts and focused on a small spot on the ground, until a satisfying, but also strong and light feeling told you you had done right. Casting a look down and taking a step further to the middle of the strange circle of danger, you saw a bright blue, snake like being sitting there, it's eyes a deep, dark crimson and patterns purple. 

More strength was sparking from your soul, increasing every second as you felt strong willpower flurish within it and more and more of these snakes appeared out of nowhere, they were surrounding you and facing towards the threat all around you.

Even if they were behind you, in some way, you could also see what they saw and you could feel them like a still alive, trimmed off body part. They were yours through and through, had a mind of their own, but also shared all of their power with you as you felt them hiss and lift their heads to defend you, opening their red mouths with their ice colored teeth.

You closed your eyes once more and you reached out further, deeper into your soul, feeling more power there than you thought you had ever possesed, and you reached out your hands to find extremely thin, but strong, sky blue strings attached to your fingers. It was easy to move them and you followed your instincts once more as you were able to get a hold of one of your attackers.

The feeling was extremely new, but it felt amazing to have so much power at your disposal and be able to use it correctly, as well. One of your snakes was already preparing itself to launch at one of them, but the humans were backing away, two having already dropped their weapons in defeat.

'B-boss, you didnt tell us she had MAGIC!'

You whipped around to stare at one of the humans, his eyes wide in fear as he kept casting glances to a shadowy figure not too far away. 

Focusing your energy on a small point just beside it, a small spark lit up and you could see for a brief moment that it was sans, standing there with his void eyes and hood over his head. Had he organized all this? Had the guy just called him Boss?

You felt your energy weaken and you had two specific options: Either play dirty and risk seriously hurting him, or give up and guilt trip him. You couldnt bear the thought of hurting him, so you let two more small sparks flame up right and left of him, and then let your fighting magic dissapate.

*If this is really your work? 

There was another moment of silence as he just stared forward, clearly pained. You found yourself reaching inwards again and then saw a flash of his soul. He was clearly hurt by the situation and didnt want to do this. He wanted to be anywhere but here, do anything but this. 

*Its okay. I still owe you my life, so you could have just asked.

He let out a sound of surprise as he flinched back, pain across his face. His hands were shaking, but there was something making him keep going. Some fact that you did not know about made him do this. 

Your magic was completely gone, and you could see your attackers closing in. They were extremely weary at first, but then quickened. You didnt object or resist as they turned your hands on to your back, disabeling you from doing anything. 

You looked over at sans and decided to take your last chance by using your voice.

'You know, you should be proud of yourself. Isnt this what you wanted, after all? You did it. You gained my trust, and I played right into your hands. You captured the 'slicing shadow'. Your going to be able to punish me for everything you saw me do.'

You felt your chest writhe in pain when you used your old nickname, but you had to. It was the only way to show him that he shouldnt hesitate when punishing for murder. He turned away from you and made gesture towards the humans.

You knew you could still partly use Magic, but you werent going to. You deserved whatever the world gave you, and you felt like now was time to pay up for your mistakes, crimes and your mere existance. When they pushed you past sans, you just cast him a glance with a weak smile and he flinched back once more, but then just shook himself and followed the humans.

You couldnt tell how long you were walking, and after about a few streets, you met up with more humans that blindfolded you and made you completely unable to see. None of them had gagged you yet, and you hoped that if you didnt say anything else, they wouldnt.

You felt yourself being dragged into a strange building as you felt the air around you change temperature and shift. You heard more voices from further away and you could sometimes feel some wind from what you presumed to be doors. 

The blindfold was forcefully ripped off your head and you whinced. You felt someone tie your hands behind your back with a tight knot and rough rope, then give you a shove and you stumbled into an empty, dark room. 

The walls were a dark gray and there was only a little bit of light coming through a tiny window just below the ceiling on the opposite side of the door that was now shut tight and locked. You made your way closer to the window so you could see as much as possible in case the door was opened once more and then just leaned against the wall, thinking.

You thought about the entire situation and about how much pain you had caused them, and after a while, you started crying again, guilt making your heart ache and your soul started giving out a dark aqua color that shone from your chest.

You couldnt hold out for very long before you were able to cry yourself to sleep. Using all of that strange power before had taken quite a toll on you.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

 

Near unbearable pain in your stomach woke you up. 

'Wake up, BRAT. Our Top-Boss wants to see you!'

You bent over and started caughing, your stomach turning and you were just barely able to hold back the urge to vomit. You were lying on your side and memory of what had happened flashed back into your mind as you slowly opened your eyes after you had calmed down.

Before you stood another human. He looked well trained and was a bit older than the ones who had captured and taken you here. He seemed to be about 40, and he looked mad.

'Come on, or do I have to give you a bit more... motivation?'

You shook your head on instinct and fought your way up despite not being able to use your hands. Once on your feet, you saw that he was accompanied by two more men, and one of them stepped forward and blindfolded you. You didnt resist as they began pushing you towards the door and began leading you through some hallways and to a different room.

You had already been remembering the turns before, and now you knew enough to make out that you only partly took the same way that you came here, so you could assume that your room was located at the back or at least the less used part of the building, and that meant that accidental exits were more common there.

You were pushed through another door and there you were met with a room that made your stomach churn. It was a typical police interrogation room, but with a few... changes. 

It was the atmosphere. It was nearly completely dark, and you could make out weapons not too far away. You were tied tightly to one of the chairs at a table, but still didnt do anything about it. You deserved this, you kept telling yourself, and you had no right to fight your punishment. Besides, you wouldnt even be alive without sans having saved you, and if he brought you here, as painful as it was, you had to obey. Even if his betrayal made your soul ache more than anything.

A dark figure was not too far from you sitting at the opposite side of the table, turning and playing with a knife in his hand, but the room was too dark to make out anything specific. When the lights were turned on, you closed your left eye and squinted the other to see a sturdy and menacing looking man sitting there with green eyes and black hair. 

So this was the one they called their Top-Boss, you thought as you wondered what he could possibly want from you. Just punish you, maybe?

'Alright, lets put this simple. You tell me how many you killed, and Ill put the proper punishment on you, alright? And be honest. If your not, Ill double your pain'

You shivered at the cold smile he gave you and cleared your throat. You would have to talk for this.

'Wh-Who are you? And... how can you possibly know?'

'I have my own ways of finding things out. Now, answer my question. I am not patient with murderers'

You shivered once more in pain and bent over a bit, doing your best to force your tears away.

'I-I... I DONT KNOW! I... I dont... r-remember! B-But...'

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself before you continued.

'I know it was m-many, so... I dont care what punishment it is. I-I deserve a-anything'

'Im afraid that wont do as an answer. I need to know how many'

'I dont... kn-know'

'Listen here, you may not be able to count too well with a brain like yours, but how about you at least try to estimate?'

'shes saying the truth. she doesnt know and cant remember'

You turned your head to be faced with a familiar skeleton in a hood, who, oddly enough, had just defended you. You just let out another sobb as you used your newfound powers to see that his soul was close to dying. 

'Ugh, fine. Well just assume 30 by your reaction, then. Dan? DAN! Get over here. Just 30, kay?'

Another man walked towards you with a baseball bat in his hands. He stood before you and blocked your sight, so you just closed your eyes and waited for the hit to commence.

It wasnt as bad as you expected it to be as you felt your head getting flung to the side with force. You felt like it could explode at any moment, but you had already faced worse, so you only flinched and whinced a bit as you felt hot liquid pour down from the new wound at the side of your head.

 

This procedure, from your room to there and back just before you could die, repeated itself too many times for you to count. Over and over did you have to be hurt there, and soon your pride faded and you stopped holding back your screams and tears, just letting pain consume you over and over, every night.

Sans was always absent and had only appeared that first time, yet not stayed to the very last moment. Then the person across the table was always somebody different as well, but you didnt take much notice of it as your world view began to crumble once more.

And yet still, not for a single moment did you think about how it was unfair, or how you could escape using your powers which you figured must have been Magic. Your guilt was slowly easing with every bit of pain you got, only to double when you were alone again. You had no hopes of ever getting away. 

You were in the type of hell you deserved and it pained you to know that you belonged here and nowhere else. How could you have possibly thought you could live with your monster friends? It was just life giving you one tiny sip of water in the desert just to burn you alive afterwards in your own personal hell.

You became broken. You never resisted, your tears kept flowing like rivers at any possible chance and your guilt consumed you whole. And thats when you felt it.

The chance to give up and go. There was a moment when you realized that you could use your own magic against yourself, and that you could dissapear if you wanted to. You didnt even have to manifest anything, it was just a choice to make.

And you really wanted to. You wanted to just kill yourself to end this and finally move on into the real hell, because that was definitly where you would be going as your Afterlife. If hell even wanted to take you in at this point.

 

You wanted to, but you couldnt yet. You were too weak from last time. You had to wait until after you slept in order to kill yourself and shatter your own soul with your Magic. So you were lying there on your side, not bothering to move an inch as you just waited for your wounds to stop hurting enough so you could sleep.

The sound of steps made you open your eyes again and look up without moving your head to see someone familiar standing there. Despite everything, you managed to smile a little. He had tears in his eyes and he fell on his knees before you. You looked at him. Your entire body and soul were numb.

'D-dont cry... s-sans, whats... w-wrong?'

Your voice was shaking and weak, barely hearable.

'whats wrong? _whats wrong?!? look at yourself!_   you look terrible, your bruised, hurt and broken, and _its all my fault!_ '

You wanted to say more, but you were so weak already and you didnt have anything else to say. You didnt know wether it was true or not, and you didnt really care as you just closed your eyes. And now life was showing you an ocean _while_   you were burning alive. Your chest was hurting more than anything else, and you wished your soul would just finally shatter once and for all.

'l-look, i know you probably cant stand me right now, but... just, let me get you out of here, okay?'

You didnt do anything but keep your eyes closed and do nothing. You were mentally too weak to think of anything, not to mention answer or give him any kind of reaction.

'you know what? im saving you from this, wether you want to or not. i dont care what youve done in your past, i cant watch them do this to you anymore'

You felt him carefully turn you around so you laid on your back and then look over your wounds. It was never anything truly dangerous, just stuff that hurt the most. Apparently, it wasnt in their interests to kill you, just to make you suffer.

Then, to your surprise, he freed your wrists from the ropes and then carefully and slowly picked you up. You felt the world fall around you as you two teleported somewhere else.

The new surroundings werent too different, it was a different room simply with more Interior design and furnishings. Your wrists and arms felt weird from finally being free after being tied up for so long. You felt him lay you down on something soft and you were reminded of the very first time he had saved you.

'Y-you dont... have t-to... s-save me again'

Your voice was still extremely quiet and he had to lean in to hear it, but as soon as he understood what you had said, he pulled back and wordlessly started applying bandages, caring for your wounds and trying to get you to talk or care, but you didnt, you couldnt. 

One cant just slam two halves of a borken vase together and expect it to be whole.

Once you were bandaged up, he let you drink and then told you to rest, and that everything would be fine. It didnt take you long to fall asleep, and you didnt think of anything before you did.

 

 

\------------------------------------------

 

 

When you woke up, you were still in the same room, in the same position and nothing seemed to have changed at all. You were staring at the ceiling, feeling how your soul had grown numb. It still hurt, but in a completely different way.

You didnt bat an eye when you heard a door being opened and sans step inside. He made his way over to you to see that you were awake.

'oh god, your okay. did you rest? can you stand up?'

You didnt move. Nothing seemed to matter. Your thoughts were gray and meaningless and you thought of nothing but how it would feel to die.

'come on. i need you to try and stand up. ill help'

He reached one hand out to you, but you didnt make any attempts to move. Instead, you closed your eyes and spoke. Your voice was much louder than before.

'Sans... I... I dont care'

He flinched at the cold in your tone, but there was also frustration and worry. You couldnt care about anything because you were broken, and he knew that. He had seen it.

'come on. just try once, okay? you can do it, im sure'

'I... cant. I cant care'

'look, dont do it for me, do it for them. toriel still cares about you, and so does undyne, and alphys, mettaton, papyrus, asgore, frisk and even flowey. just... try your best, okay?'

'But... I cant!'

You were beginning to sound like an irritated child, a small whine in your voice. You really couldnt. Half of you wanted to, but you couldnt. And the other half didnt want you to even try.

'please, just _try!_   is there anything, _anything_   that could make you feel better? anything you remember, or anything that you would want?'

There was desperation in his voice, but your soul was too sore and hurt to notice the twinge of guilt you barely even felt.

'I want to die'

He let out a sigh, he was on edge and extremely worried and down.

'that wont do. anything else, please...'

'I dont know'

There was a moment of silence and you felt something inside you spark up. It was small and insignificant, but it gave you enough energy to grasp the situation. You didnt want to, but you had to try, and keep trying as good as you could.

'Tell me about them, Sans'

Sans let out a sigh of relief and started talking. You felt a bit better, listening to how they worried about you and how they were all doing. You were surprised to hear some of the things he said as he described situations from his own point of view, and the thing that caught you the most was how he said that everybody was always much happier when they were around you and how most of the time, he commented on how much they cared.

After he had said everything he could come up with and described every single situation he could remember, you nodded, gathered all of your strength, took a deep breath and attempted to move.

He was immidiently at your side and helped you sit up completely. You let out your breath and closed your eyes again. 

'okay. now you will have to hold on to me so i can teleport us both out of here, 'kay?'

You slowly nodded and he picked you up to embrace you. You used your last bit of motivation and strength to hold on to him as tight as you could manage, burying your face in his shoulder. The scent and the warmth reminded you of the one time you had opened up to tell him about your nightmare, and he had listened. 

From the point he brought you into this building up until now, you had thought that everything had just been pretend. That he had only meant to gain your trust so you would follow him that one time. 

But right now, he was proving the opposite. He was caring for you in depth and trying to truly save you this time, and he had never been forced to wait as long as he did. You would have followed him anywhere about the time where you admitted that you were homeless, just like you hadnt questioned where you went when he took you to see the sunrise.

He had done much more than he had to, and the fact that everybody was worried sick about you gave you the little bit of strngth you needed to hold on. The world began spinning and falling around you and you grew dizzy, but only gripped him tighter in the small twinge of fear that you felt for a brief moment. 

Then you were there and you felt him carefully set you down onto some pavement. The fresh air and the massive amount of light told you that you were outside. You wobbled a bit, but he steadied you and you were very glad he did.

You felt better than before, and seeing the outside was giving you enough strength to care enough to follow sans as he helped you slowly move across some space to get to a familiar red car. You smiled as soon as you spotted it and sans set you on the front seat and then went around the car to take the driver seat.

Sans started telling you how everybody had gone absolutely crazy after you went missing, and that he felt absolutely terrible about it. He had locked himself up in his room and not come out at all, only being able to think of how badly he had actually fucked this up.

Undyne immidiently put together a searching party and they ran across the entire city. They didnt give up and Undyne was searching together with Papyrus 24/7 for an entire week. Toriel had cried a lot, and Asgore had always canceled all meetings and been at her side.

Alphys had led in a group of monster and human detectives to find you, but to no avail. She was able to find out quite quickly that he should technically be the one to have seen you last, and he kept telling everyone that he had seen you at home, asleep, and felt terrible while doing so.

You didnt have enough energy or mental strength to do anything but listen, even though you would have liked to cast a glance at his soul. You were facing away from him and just stared out the side window in silence and watched small rain drops fall against the glass, creating a quiet, empty melody that fought against the noise of the car engine.

When you saw the house that you had spent the past months in, you couldnt help but smile a little. Sans parked and helped you out. You had no idea how you would be able to face them all after being gone for so long, but having sans at your side somewhat calmed you, even though you were aware that he was breaking on the inside from pure guilt as well.

When he approached the door, he hesitated for a moment and then quietly told you that he had told them all to gather today without saying why, and you just nodded. You were standing on your own, but you kindof wished that you could hold his hand for some reason.

You quickly banished the thought and braced yourself as sans ringed the doorbell. There were heavy steps and the door flung open.

'SANS! What took you so long? You-'

Undyne looked at you for one moment and then picked you up under your arms and lifted you up into the air.

'HOLY SHIT (Y/N)! YOUR STILL ALIVE! GUYS! GET OVER HERE AND LOOK AT THIS! TORIEL, FRISK! SHES FUCKING ALIVE!'

Undyne turned and walked inside the house with you and set you down on the ground and you were immidiently hugged from all sides as everybody gathered in a big tear-filled group hug, forgetting what they had been doing before Undyne came in with you.

'GEEZ, PUNK! We were so worried, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Where the hell have you been?!?'

Undyne.

'My child, it is so nice to see that you are alive... I will tend to your wounds in a moment, I just... *sob* Im so happy to see you...'

Toriel.

'(y/n), y-you have no idea how worried e-everyone was! W-were so glad your back!'

Alphys.

'NHEH! YOU EVEN GOT THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO CRY HIS EYES OUT WHILE YOU WERE GONE! DO NOT SCARE US LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE!'

Papyrus.

'Darling, you cant simply dissapear like that! You know how much it hurt everybody that you were suddenly gone!'

Mettaton.

'I am glad you are back. We all care a lot about you, you know'

Asgore.

You felt tears in your eyes, and after another good minute of hugging, they all stepped back to look at you and then let Toriel properly heal you. When she was done, you cast a glance to all of them and smiled.

'I... I-I didnt know that... You all r-really cared so much about me'

You had tears of happyness in your eyes and your friends were surprised to hear you talk. You hugged toriel and things nearly ended in another group hug until Mettaton suddenly gasped dramatically and jumped up.

'DARLING! Your singing voice must be FABULOUS! I must hear it someday!'

Now you were blushing and you hid your face with your hands. 

'Mettaton, nooo...'

You murmured, but he was already making complicated stage and performance plans aloud. You heard... saw...? No, _felt_   sans take a step forward and turn to Mettaton.

'dont overdo it. (y/n) aint as big as an attention vaccum like you. some people dont like to perform infront of thousands of people at once'

You nodded towards Mettaton and he calmed down.

Then Frisk hurried towards you and caught you in a seperate hug, and you bowed down to pick them up. They were smiling from one ear to the other as they happily hugged back with tears in their eyes. They signed to you how happy they were, too.

The presence of your friends brought so much light into your vision and your soul. You still felt weak and broken, but much better than before stepping into your home. You still had to sit down on the couch after a few minutes however to not feel too overwhelmed.

'ALRIGHT PUNK! Now your going to tell us where the hell you went. AND I SWEAR, IF I CATCH THE PERSON WHO KIDNAPPED YOU IM GOING TO TEAR THEM APART LIMB FOR LIMB!'

Undyne had jumped up and was thriumphally holding a spear that she had just manifestated into the air. You had to smile at her warrior burst out. It took her a while to sit down, and when everyone was seated and Flowey on the table, you asked them how much they already knew. You had to tell them as much as you could... They deserved to know.

You found out that Toriel had told them about your outburst, and that sans had been the prime suspect for some time, but he had seemed just as worried and hurt, so the suspicion was quickly debunked. Toriel, Asgore, Frisk, Flowey and Papyrus didnt know about the kiss and you were very thankful for it. That... was one of the things they best not know, and you were able to quietly ask Undyne about it so they didnt suspect a thing.

You looked around to see sans standing near the corner. Apart from his comment to Mettaton, he hadnt said anything and he hadnt joined the group hug, either. You smiled to him and motioned for him to come as well, but he shook his head. You sighed.

'Sans, you have to come here too. I have things to say to everyone'

You hated to put him into the middle of attention like that, but you knew he wouldnt come over if you didnt. Everybody had their heads turned to him and he went over to take a seat as well. He was still a bit reluctant though and didnt meet your gaze.

'Okay. I... I will explain my past, as... painful as it may be. I believe that will also explain why I went missing and my... recollection dreams, alright?'

Your friends nodded and turned towards you to listen. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes for a moment and remembered everything you wanted to say once before opening them again and starting to tell your story.

'My father... Well, lets just say he wasnt the best type of person. He was known as the Leader of something like a fanatic Mafia group that exploited its members for money and power'

You had prepared what you wanted to say for a while now in case you ever had to tell them, long before this, and you saw horror on their faces. You felt Toriel put her arm on your shoulder reassuringly and you were very grateful for it.

'They... Sure, they were never good people. But... they got worse and... and...'

Your tongue didnt want to say the words. You didnt even want to think about it, but you had to tell them. After some unsure podering that they all patiently sat out, you continued.

'They got worse and started actually... killing. It couldnt get much worse than that, and all of these people were _pain fanatics_. They believed that their mistakes and sins were rightened when... they inflict pain on themselves or... others do so, and they go to heaven when they kill themselves or... their great demon did so'

You flinched at your own words and took a moment to recollect yourself. They were all clearly worried now, and sans had the expression of someone lost in thought deeply. You gulped at the next part. You were lucky to even know it.

'B-but my father didnt want his work to go to waste, so he sought out a highly intelligent, strong and determined woman old enough to reproduce and...'

You gulped again and closed your eyes, slowly sinking into your seat.

'H-He captured and basicly raped her over and over again, a-and... she became my biological mother'

You cast a side glance to Toriel. You had used the term 'biological' on purpose. You never actually had a mother-daughter relationship with her, and you wouldnt have considered her your mother if your genes wouldnt say so.

The air felt pressured and none of your friends were meeting your gaze except Toriel.

'Oh my goodness, that must have been a terrible childhood, (y/n). They did not hurt you, did they? You... ran away from them, did you not?'

You nodded and let your eyes stare at the edge of the table.

'Well, kindof. Let me explain. So after my mother was carrying me... my father started treating her like a Queen because he knew he had to to make me strong. But... she was patient and refused and kept fighting against him, so one day, _his_ patience snapped, he threw her in some guarded room and made others give her enough food and water. He made those fanatics think that I was their great demon. He called me slicing shadow before I was even born'

You took a few more deep breaths, tears already pricking in your eyes, but you told yourself to buck up, quit your self-pitying and continue.

'When I _was_... well. H-he... He f-forced me to... t-... to...'

You couldnt let out the words before you buried your face in your hands and a quiet sobb escaped your throat. You immidiently heard and felt all of them starting to try and help you. Toriel hugged you before setting you on her lap, the others were giving you comforting words and saying that you didnt have to remember if you didnt want to.

But you shook your head, pulled away from Toriel and finished your sentance with your head lowered, your voice cold and emotionless as you tried to shut out.

'He forced me to become like him by threatening to torture my biological mother, and of course, I complied. I did what he told me to, even if it took him years of my childhood to get me to follow his orders. He forced me to kill. He forced me to torture and to hurt. And the worst part? At that point... I was a bit like him. I didnt react like others and went mentally insane, I... I survived something like that and kept a clear head the entire time. I was bruised, but still whole'

You felt terrible. You felt like your soul could shatter any moment, and images of gore and blood flashed before your eyes every now and then, making you remember what you had done. You didnt want to look at their faces as you could see your friends shiver... All but sans, undyne, asgore and Flowey, and you had to wonder why.

You wanted to continue again, but suddenly guilt made it's way into your heart again and the feeling in your chest grew worse and worse.

'I-I... I can never... I can never forgive myself for what Ive done... Im so, so s-sorry, I just.. Im sorry, Im so sorry, I never meant to, I never... I never wanted to hurt them, I just... I dont deserve this. I dont deserve you all, I should have just died in that poor side street, alone a-and... abandoned...'

You were sobbing violently again and Toriel kept calming you down. When you had caught yourself again more or less, Undyne spoke up.

'Hey, (y/n). I think... I think some of use know how guilt like that feels'

You looked at her in surprise, confusion on your face. What could she possibly mean? Nothing was worse than killing, and none of them had ever done something like that. Undyne continued, avoiding your gaze.

'You know how to escape the underground, we needed seven human souls? Well... seven really strong, carefully persevered and captured human souls. And... It took us a few tries to get to six. And as you know, the seventh was Frisk. Most of them went to... Asgore, but the second spot was me. And as the captian of the royal guard, It was my duty to... you know'

You knew that they had needed seven human souls, but you had never thought of a scenario where monsters had to kill a human, much less where the human was as young as someone like Frisk. You couldnt help but shudder. No wonder humans were scared of monsters so much. 

'Im... sorry to hear that. But, well, you had good reason to. You had no choice. And I think if humans got to properly know you, they would give up their soul willingly. You have every right to be on the surface. I for example would have sacrificed my soul for something like that!'

'some did'

Everybody was startled at suddenly hearing something from sans, who had been dead quiet the entire time. 

'but some didnt. and you said it... no choice. and i know you havnt said everythin yet, but it doesnt sound like you had much of a choice either'

His eyes were black voids and you could see a flash of guilt seek his soul as you cast a glance at it. 

There were a few murmurs of agreement and you wanted to open your mouth to say something, but then closed it again. Why had you never thought of that? Had you really been this stupid to never think of that option? 

'Well... Anyways. Things escalated, and... he forced me to kill... my own mother. Its... one of the moments I saw in my dream flashbacks'

You shuddered and clung to Toriel. The others were still dealing with the information and most of them had very different reactions, but they all kept them silent. Their expressions varied from shocked and surprised to terrified to simply not knowing what to say.

'Things... went on like that. But I wasnt giving up hope, I always... I always tried to find such things as friends, trying to find someone to talk to. It didnt work. Every single time... They would betray me. Over and over. I grew tired of it, but I kept going. Something told me to be patient and to keep waiting for the time to come'

Your voice was steady once more and you were past the worst part of your story. You were already worrying of how sans would phrase his. He had to at least tell a small part, enough to make them and you understand why he did the things he did.

'And I found one friend, yes. One that was loyal, but also old. Old enough to tell me how I came to be. Its the only reason I know what happened because the person I was forced to call 'my father' never filled me up on any of it. This friend... Also helped me escape, and told me to not trust anyone or anything. To keep myself isolated until the storm was over, and I did. I... lived on the streets. But my escape came with the price of him being found out and punished, just proving that I was never worthy of a friend, because I failed him. Thats... all there is to me, really'

There was more, but those were just details. They didnt have to know every single thing. 

You had your shoulders tensed up and you felt the silence in the air. After a few minutes of this odd and pressured atmosphere, sans could be heard mumbeling.

'oh god, i really messed up now... geez. i saw your flashbacks, but i didnt have your memories or feelings, so i didnt understand what was going on, who those people were or... or... or why...'

He shook his head at himself.

'Its okay, sans. Im sure that they would forgive you for everything. They would understand'

'understand? _understand?_   there is nothing to _'understand'_   here! i fucked up and thats that!'

'Im sure you had your reasons to do what you did. We all have reasons and good intentions, even if the end product turns out to be bad and harming'

'i dont have a story like yours to tell. i literally just messed everything up and its all my fault'

'I dont believe that! You must have something there. And even if you did make mistakes, we all do!'

_'stop fucking sugar-coating it!_ _it was my fault you went missing_ _!_ _i could have done something and i didnt, i just stood there and watched them torture you!'_

Sans yelling startled you somewhat and you had flinched back. You wanted to reply something until there was a flash, a loud noise and then you saw Undyne standing there at her full height. She was holding sans by the collar and he was dangeling in the air. He had his hands out of his pockets, and because of the rushed movement, one of his gloves had fallen off.

You saw his hands in the light for the first time. You had seen them at night, but hadnt thought much of them. The handplates hadnt bothered you as much then.

They didnt look like something necessary for his hand structure, but they sure looked like they would be hard to remove. 

Your friends gasped and all stared at him. Undyne slowly set him down and then pulled out a particulairly big spear.

'So it wasnt just your fault, but also... You heartless being... You just delivered her to them, didnt you? And then watched them hurt her like that?'

Just when Undyne was about to reach her spear out to hit the cowering, sobbing and broken skeleton at full force, the fact that he only had one HP and wouldnt lift a finger to defend himself flashed before your eyes in his soul and you jumped up, screaming for Undyne not to do it.

She stopped last moment, and suddenly Papyrus recollected from all of his shock and jumped up as well to protect his brother, while the others sat comepletely still where they were. Papyrus was kneeling down to sans and tried to get him to stand up, but he didnt. 

You made your way across the room and went to stand right before Undyne. You could tell that she was still furious, but she wouldnt risk harming Papyrus or you. 

'Please, let him explain. I am absolutely certain he has his own story to tell. And whatever it is...'

You turned around and went to sit at his side. Papyrus moved back a bit to let you, and you hugged sans from the side, hoping to at least fix some of his soul by getting rid of his guilt.

'...I forgive him for it'

You felt sans move in surprise, but he was unable to pull away and eventually just hugged back. You could make out his soul giving off a particulair melody and you realized that he was crying. You sat there for another minute and then stood up, reaching your hand out for him to take it. He whiped his tears away and took it to stand up, mumbeling 'thank you's and 'sorry's.

'Okay. Now, Sans, please. Tell us all how things ended up this way'

You helped him to one of the chairs and he then nodded, starting to talk after another moment of calming down.

'fine... okay. so when we came to the surface... stuff was bad at first, ya know? humans seemed pretty scary at the time, but i guess they were scared of us just as much as we were scared of them. but i saw how terrible things were. i couldnt just watch everyone suffer like that, so... i got contacted by this group... that called themselves the 'judgement angels' or somethin. and they promised me to get monsters appreciated and respected, a shit load of money and influental power for me. so... i guess i took my chance'

His voice seemed casual after his breakdown, but you knew that he had a storm of emotions going on inside. You could feel it.

'but they set me these conditions... and what they wanted of me was... well, more than just 'not right'. they wanted me to... to use my magic to lure in humans they thought deserved punishment, to bring them there. and i can tell you, all of their top-bosses are completely crazy. they enjoy seeing others in pain. but they always only targetted people like... murderers, the mentally completely gone or those who had done a lot of bad in their lives. so i just... didnt mind'

You flinched at his describtions of their targets. You were rightfully one of them, one of those who deserved to be tortured and punished.

'they would calculate how many one has hurt... and then torture them for that amount of days, and kill them in the end. they even got money from the government for interrogations or capturing certain people, and its really, really disgusting. and i just... god, i saw nothing wrong with it, i just went with it, i cant belive that i... i thought that what they were doing to their own kind was only beneficial for monsters, but... seeing you, (y/n)... you didnt deserve that. any of it'

His voice was suddenly firm and he had both his hands on the table. He had ungloved the other one as well and your friends kept staring at them as he moved them a bit during his speech.

'they also gave me these... heh. their removable, dont worry. but they got me em so they know that im loyal and stuff. they know i cant run with these. its proof, its the one thing that could keep me from just running away or suddenly turning against them. it proved that i was no better than them'

He layed his hands on the table with the palms facing downwards, and you all stared at the pristinely cut hand plates. They were made of dark grey metal and had some inscribtions in them reading things like 'The Judgement Angels' with something like a logo or sign on it as well. They were quite thick and the four small dot like things in the corners told you that the plates must be screwed on, and you gave a sharp intake of breath when you imagined a human painfully screwing handplates onto him.

You had seen them before, the one night you opened up about your nightmare, even though only briefly. You were glad you didnt ask what they were back then, or it would have screwed up so much.

'so they told me to... *gulp* to... gain your trust. and that you did awful things in your past, that your the worst and most important target theyve ever had to eliminate. that the government and all of their sponsers wanted you'

You flinched and looked away, then shut your eyes tight. Of course you were.

'but you proved me wrong. not everybody who was done mistakes in their past is a bad person. i see that now, and... ive been so wrong, so awfully wrong. i just believed them and assumed the worst when i saw your flashbacks, and-'

'WAIT A GOSH DARN MINUTE! You looked into her flashbacks???'

Undyne didnt seem embarressed or sorry for interrupting at all and looked at sans with an intimidating look.

'yeah, i... felt like i had to know what was going on in them if she kept mumbeling stuff like 'sorry' over and over. i wanted to see whether what they told me was true, and at first, i thought it was, but... it wasnt true, and it never will be. i messed up... im so sorry, guys, i just... i dont know what i can say, i just feel like such a fucking screw up. i just... i just messed up so bad... you all have the right to hate me now...'

He let his hands suport his skull as he started to just stare at the table with his head down and quietly sob. You stood up and went over to him, telling him quietly and in whispers that he was forgiven, and that he had only had the better intentions as well.

The others were silent. They had a lot to chew up and digest and only kept casting glances at one another, yet never holding them for very long. After a moment, they started to slowly stand up one by one, and you looked at them confused. Then you felt them close in all around you in an even bigger group hug, and you happily hugged back, sighing. 

Everything was going to be alright. They would forgive you all eventually, and much more importantly, it was easier for you two to forgive yourselves if you already forgave each other. You smiled and buried yourself deeper into the hug. You felt warmth and safety radiate off of all of them, and maybe the ice in your soul had finally turned into something different. 

It wasnt paining, iced water anymore. Sure, there was still some of that left, but your soul was more than that. 

It wasnt a frosted heart anymore... instead, it felt a lot like...

Heart Frosting.

 

 

 

** END OF ACT 1: **

**So... CAN the past destroy the present?**

**The answer is simple...**

**Yes.**

**But ONLY,  
**

**if you let it.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Ive started uploading again, so just click next chapter to keep reading! This is the end of Act 1 and can be seen as its own book, if you want to. But the continuation is still there, I hope I dont dissapoint! I hope you enjoy! ^^
> 
> Alrighty, thats it for Act 1!  
> I have already started up on Act 2 a bit, but for now, Im taking a break. No idea with how long its going to last, and Im not making any promises whatsoever, but my brain seriously needs a rest and I just dont feel too well right now.
> 
> I may still write the one-shots in Black Spots from time to time, but that will update relatively rarely and only if Im in the mood for it. Right now, Im gathering my strength to continue writing Act 2 properly and getting down more than just 5 sentences a day, so Ill be takin a break! It will also give everybody who doesnt have that much time a chance to read everything in peace and quiet, so thats a plus for you! (Because the chapters seriously ARE pretty long)
> 
> Im still free to chat and such on Tumblr though, and I will still be online there most of the time. So dont worry, Im not dissapearing, just bein a bit inactive for now. Thats all then.  
> Have a fantastic day everyone! ^^


	7. Magical Connections

**ACT 2:**

**Together through the dark**

 

 

This was it. Today was the day!

Everybody was out and about, and the house was going to stay empty for another two hours, so you had all the time in the world to finish your mission: Clean the entire house in less time than anyone else before you.

Grabbing the cleaning supplies, your mind already began making the perfect plan on how to get everything done efficiently, and you had to thank your overactive brain for once.

You werent one for 'protective clothing' like aprons or anything, so you werent wearing any. You just had to be careful, and even if something got dirty, you could wash it yourself. You could do everything around the house that Toriel could, so you were very well able to take care of everything while she was gone.

Humming a happy and motivating tune, you began going from room to room, only stopping to get sweat off your forehead. You were determined and patient to persevere in your task, and you sure didnt feel like failing today!

A month and a half had passed since the 'great story reveal', and everybody had gotten used to things. You felt somewhat uneasy around sans the first few weeks, but quickly got comfortable around him again. You were patient with everyone and werent one to get a grudge. When you DID, however, you could be hellbent for revenge like you were towards your father, but sans? You could still forgive him. Maybe you forgave too easily, but that didnt matter to you. You had felt his regret, guilt and pain first hand and knew that he would never make the same mistakes again.

If they even WERE mistakes, though. Had you really deserved that torture, had you really deserved being broken? It didnt seem like the answer was an obvious yes anymore, and you were somewhat glad for that.

You still got weird looks from your friends or unnecessary pity in some situations, but that was fine. For example, one time, Toriel had asked you if it would be okay for you to cut the celery because she was afraid holding a knife would bring up memories.

Sure, you were reminded in some way, but you had dealed with more similair situations than cutting celery, and recently, the pity had been wearing off significantly, which you were also very grateful for.

Sans also kept giving you weird looks, and sometimes, you caught him staring away to somewhere, but you never bothered him about it, and he always seemed to have this weird expression when you talked. It made you a bit worried, but you were very cautious about looking into his soul, because Undyne had told you that powerful monsters who could were shunned for their ability and it was considered rude and embarressing. None the less were you around sans the most and you were often considered best friends. He was just nice to spend time with.

You had just finished off the hallway upstairs with one more room to go: Sans' room. You opened the door with a swing, continuing to hum, and began making your way around the room with a Purple duster.

Once you were done, you began washing any piece of furniture that could take water, rinsing off the mirror and then, when you just wanted to finish cleaning the top of the nightstand and move on to vacuum the place, you found that one of the drawers was sticking out oddly.

You tried to get it to close properly, but it seemed stuck. You furrowed your brows, slightly annoyed at not being able to fix things. You tried opening it instead to see if you could un-yank it that way, and when you did, you found that whatever was in it was covered with a white cloak unusually clean for sans usual posessions.

Curiosity was clinging to you, but you bit your lip and instead tried to see wether the other drawers also had cloaks over them. Maybe its just something he did?

They didnt. No more protective cloaks anywhere, and nothing near as clean as the one that you could see covering off something that seemed extremely important.

You closed the other drawers and stared at the cloak. Should you? You knew that its bad to snoop around like that, but your curiosity was really getting the best of you. As hard as it was though, you just shook your head at yourself and closed the drawer quickly.

Too quickly. A little bit of the cloak flung off and you noticed a spark of something gradiating from yellow to orange to red, with a hint of pink at the sides seemed awfully familiar.

Slowly, you began to open the drawer again, and you found that you had seen right. There, just where the cloak had flung off a bit, there was the corner of that picture you had given him. The one you were so unsatisfied with.

Looking around you guiltily, you felt fear and paranoia in your chest, but you were too far gone to turn back now. Carefully taking the cloak off, you blinked and stared at the sight before you.

The picture wasnt big enough to fill the entire drawer, and at the sides, you could see more objects. Lifting the picture, you put one of your hands over your mouth.

The place was full of your things. There was a folded, single sock which second, pairing one had gone missing in the washingmachine a few days ago, and it was a typical, ink blue. Only you wore the color. There was the notebook that you had written in with the 'Thank you's all over it, and all the things you had written apart from the very first one were still there as well. 

But there was more. A toothpick, some lint you had nearvously got off your clothing some time, the pen you had used and the sketches he had told you to not destroy and that he had kept, but also every single one you tore up, carefully stuck back together with glue and tape.

You didnt know what to do or make of this new information. Either he was trying to protect everyone from some disise you didnt know you had (which was quite unlikely), or he was... obsessed with you. And as much as you hated it, you didnt find it creepy at all. If anything, it just made your stomach flutter and your heart beat faster.

You took another look around and then started getting everything back into the drawer exactly how you found it, and cursed your curiosity for getting you into this. Just when you were about to put back the picture of the sunrise, you heard something behind you.

'well, look what we ha-'

You whipped around with the drawing still in your hands and he stopped mid-sentance. You hadnt thought of the fact that he probably teleported two and fro places instead of walking, since he had the ability to. You both stared at one another, dumbfounded, until you started blushing and turned away, embarressed to be caught snooping around red-handed.

You put the picture away and were about to open your mouth to apologize and explain that you had stumbled upon it while cleaning, but when you turned around to face him, he was already gone.

You groaned and cursed yourself for having let your curiosity take control. Why hadnt you just closed the drawer slowly and then walked away? And what did sans think of you now? Probably that you were a far too curious, snooping brat. At the very, very least.

You hurried to put everything back how it had been and closed the drawer. It wasnt stuck anymore, and you quickly got the vacuum to just pretend you never saw anything, but it was hard to unsee all of that.

Why the hell would he be collecting your things? Why were the drawings so important to him? And if they were, why hadnt YOU fulfilled his ONE request yet and drawn some space or galaxies?!

You sighed. You were still blushing a bit and really had no idea how to face him now. When you were done cleaning, you stored all the cleaning things away and just wanted to start watching TV to get your mind off sans and wait until the others got home, until a ring at the door made you jump up from the couch right away.

'Coming!'

You called across the living room and hurried to open the front door to be greeted with a happy looking Toriel.

'Ah, it is good to see that you were alright home alone for so long. You seem very hap-'

She stopped mid-sentance as she stepped in and looked around wide eyed.

'(y/n), a-am I seeing correct? D-did you...?'

'I cleaned the entire house, yes! I thought I should do you all a favor for once!'

'Oh goodness... You shouldnt have! You have nothing to pay up for, really! But I do have to admit that everything looks absolutely wonderful! You truly outdid yourself'

You shook your head and made a brushing off hand gesture.

'Nah, dont sweat it like that. It wasnt more than one and a half hours of work, its fine, really. Im glad you like it though!'

You heard steps from the door and then spotted Papyrus right next to Undyne and Alphys. You smiled at them and invited them all inside. They all greeted you and Undyne explained how she had a gaming evening in mind since they all hadnt done that in quite some time, which was the reason she and Alphys were coming over. You nodded and told them that you looked forward to it.

As they went inside, you automatically went to making them some tea, but before you could start, they kindly refused and you just shrugged and joined them at the table.

It turned out that Undyne had bought a new game she was really eager on trying out, and there were also quite a few collecting dust on some shelves in the house. You threw them all together, Undyne moved the table and chairs aside without breaking into sweat and then layed all the games out on the floor.

There were even more than you expected, and at first, you didnt even know where to start looking. They had 11 games in total, all individual best-sellers. They didnt notice the changes in the house yet until Alphys suddenly looked around and commented on it.

'h-hey, I dont mean to sound r-rude or anything, b-but does the place look c-cleaner than last time?'

You beamed at her.

'Yes, it does! I actually did a complete house cleaning all on my own while everybody was away!'

'O-Oh, wow! Thats really nice of you to do, a-actually! I bet Toriel is really happy!'

You nodded.

'She is. And because of that, Im happy too. Shes done so much for me, and I just felt like doing something else than just drowning in my own thoughts as usual!'

Undyne rolled her eyes at you.

'Sheesh, when did you become so cheesy? If I wouldnt know better, Id say you were a die-hard pacifist right now!'

Her comment wasnt anything unusual, and the first time she had mention something alike, you had been a bit hurt, but she told you to take it as a compliment that you were changing. You were used to it as of now and never thought much of it.

'ALRIGHT! But enough talk. Where is Papyrus and sans right now? They were supposed to join the gaming-evening, but their nowhere to be seen! Those lazy skeletons!'

You all had to laugh a moment after her comment, but you also cast a worried look towards the stairs. Was sans still not there because he had caught you snooping around?

But you had no time to worry as Papyrus came down the stairs. Undyne was about to say something when she burst into laughter instead, accompanied by giggles from you and Alphys.

'AHAHAHA! Papyrus, what the hell??? You look like a christmas tree!'

Undyne couldnt be more right. Papyrus had a deep green, huge christmas shirt with a red slash drawn across it that was far too big even for him. He also had a red cap with a yellow star on it. He had his 'battle body' underneath everything. He also had different shoes that were blue and gold. It looked very, very odd, but also extremely silly and goofy.

[I will praise the person that gets all three references in Papyrus' outfit]

'OH UNDYNE! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE ART OF PICKING PERFECT CLOTHING? THIS IS MY NEW GAMING-EVENINGS-WINNING OUTFIT!'

Undyne gave another snort as he posed proudly.

'Heh, yeeeaaah. Your gonna have to do more than just wear a goofy outfit to WIN against ME!'

'BUT I DO HAVE MORE! I AM SURE YOU WILL BE SATISFIED WITH SECOND PLACE THOUGH. AND IT IS ALRIGHT IF YOU ARENT, MAYBE YOU CAN WIN WHILE IM BUSY COOKING!'

'PFAHAHA! Dont get cocky, Papyrus. Well see who will win soon enough! Alright. What game should we pick first?'

'H-how about we pick something quiet for once? Like, a r-riddle game maybe?'

'HELL NAH! We need something REAL! Hm... what about this one? Mario cart... something? Its the newest one of em all! What do you say, (y/n)?'

You pretended to have no idea and just shrugged, holding back a smile. They were all in for a surprise, and you couldnt wait to see their faces. Just then, Frisk entered the room at just the perfect timing, and you hurried over to them while the others were discussing the game options.

'Hey Frisk, mind taking a few photos when I absolutely destroy these newbies?'

You tilt your head towards the monster group for a brief moment and Frisk gave a smirk.

*Not at all. What angle should I take it at?

You started showing Frisk the exact position, and they seemed extremely happy to be able to help you, and maybe even more excited than you for the games to finally start.

When you all sat down, each and every one of you with a controller in their hands or claws. They had decided to start without sans and wait until he came along. You let the device in your hands fall from one side to the other for a moment, then tested all of the buttons and looked up to the screen, smiling.

You didnt have to connect the devices since they were already logged in and Undyne started up the game. Anticipation was cursing through your veins, but with every second, it only made you calmer and feel more powerful, in control. You smiled a little bit wider, but you still had your normal and calm expression. They wont know what hit them.

Just as things were starting up (You chose a blue toad), you heard Papyrus fumble with his controller. He had read through the instructions on the screen a few moments before with much intensity, but didnt seem to be able to have the hang of things yet. He had chosen Luigi.

In the meantime, Alphys was being nice and slow and avoiding just about everything with her yoshi, while Undyne kept hitting the borders and slowing down because of it, having chosen Browser. You had to hold back a laugh. This was going to be too easy.

Speeding forward, it didnt take you two seconds to be first place. And after a few more minutes, you were a lap ahead.

Undyne screamed in frustration, Alphys didnt seem to mind and Papyrus was so focused on the game and his own cart he didnt even seem to notice at all. Thats when you gave a light laugh and finished first place.

Undyne threw her controller to the ground and stomped around, Alphys gave you a friendly thumbs up and Papyrus was completely distressed from his failure, while there was a typical crowd of cartoon characters cheering on a blue toad.

[Im sorry, I actually dont know shit about Mario cart. I just guessed from having seen someone else play it once]

'Aw, dont worry, paps. You got what, third place? At least you beat the genious Alphys to it, the great royal scientist!'

You gave a wink at Alphys and she nodded in understanding, smiling. She didnt mind being last at all, she knew that it would take practice to be better, and even she hated seeing Papyrus upset like that.

'NHEH! YOU ARE RIGHT. BUT I STILL WASNT AS GREAT AS UNDYNE, OR EVEN YOU, (Y/N)!'

You blushed a bit at the compliment and saw that Undyne had somewhat calmed down, but was still extremly mad at her second place.

'UGH! Your like, a professional player or something, but STILL! HOW THE HELL DID I LOOSE TO SOMEONE!?'

You and Alphys had to giggle and Undyne went on raging for a moment more until she settled down and was ready to try again. Papyrus had cheered up a bit too, and Alphys just seemed glad that the loud monsters of the group had both calmed down.

Just when Undyne, being the admin, wanted to start up a new race, sans appeared out of nowhere.

'hey, guys. what did i miss?'

'YOU MISSED THE ENTIRE FIRST GAME, SANS! (Y/N) BEAT US ALL BY A MILE, AND I GOT THIRD PLACE! NHO HO HO! BUT I WILL GET BETTER THIS TIME!'

You could hear the enthusiasm in his voice and Undyne murmured something while Alphys just gave a chuckle at the situation.

'I beat them by two laps, actually'

[There is a total of 3 Laps, right? Are there even any laps in the game? Im terrible XD Just imagine its a completely new version of Mario cart that aint out yet]

You tried to give your comment off as casually as possible, but you couldnt help but cast a glance at sans to see his reaction. He made the meme-face of 'Not bad!' and you doubled over laughing at seeing the expression on a skeleton monster.

They turned to see what was so funny, but sans was already laughing as well. You nearly missed the start of the race, but you quickly grabbed the controller and sped ahead once more. They hadnt learned much from their previous mistakes.

'oh geez. you guys are really bad at this'

Suddenly you remembered Frisk and gave a look to them. They gave you a thumbs up and a wink at the same time, and you gave them a thumbs up back as you refocused on the game.

'oh my god. undynes face was priceless! you sure caught a good angle for that, frisk!'

You had to chuckle as you thought of sans looking through Frisk's phone just to find the most hilarious pictures of your friends loosing to you.

After the round was over (You won first place again, naturally) Papyrus was already tired and handed the controller over to his brother. Sans actually gave you a challenging look before the round started. He hadnt played the game a single time either, and although he did good for his first try, he still lost miserably, and Frisk caught a good photo of his reaction as well.

When you saw the pictures, you burst out laughing. Frisk signed that they would print them out in the morning, but that they and Papyrus had to go to bed now. You told them it was okay and the tall skeleton and the sweet child both bid you goodnight.

When you sat back down, there was just a new round starting, and you felt calmness all over your body. You were going to win this, and there was no doubt about it. You hardly even had to try, anyways.

 

Five rounds later, you were still first place. They all gave grunts of frustration. While your place didnt change a single time, Sans had moved to second place, and Alphys was now on third. Undyne was left last, which left her quite frustrated.

Alphys would let Undyne get third from time to time, but Undyne told her to quit it and that she wanted to beat her girlfriend properly, but the warrior just didnt seem to have a talent in video games. After a while, she stopped playing and just watched, cheering on Alphys the entire time, who got a huge confidence boost and started getting significantly better.

Just as sans was getting too close to your position for your comfort, you (Undyne gave the admin rights to you) suggested to up the difficulty from easy to medium, and sans shot you a look, but didnt complain.

You won again, and again, and again, and eventually, Alphys grew tired as well. So the monster couple just sat there and watched you two. Alphys was cheering on you, while Undyne was on sans' side, and it amused you to see how that didnt resolve in an argument at all.

But he was getting much better, and you bit your lip. So for the next round, you chose hard, and sans gave you a shit-eating grin, knowing that you were close to loosing your position, and that you were uping the difficulty to make him learn slower.

And just as Alphys and Undyne wanted to leave, the inevetable happened. Sans came in first place just an inch before you did. As the screen was giving a slow motion recap of what had happened, you stared at it, dumbfounded, while sans jumped into the air yelling that he won. You hadnt heard him yell in victory before, it didnt seem in his nature, but his win got him quite energetic.

Undyne and Alphys clapped as they said goodnight to go, and just as sans wanted to go to bed as well, you raised an eyebrow at him, pointed at the controller and initiated another round. Your last game wouldnt be a failure.

Now paying perfect attention to everything that was happening, you two raced in silence, determination written across both your faces. You had muted the TV a while ago to not disturb anyone while they slept, and you bit your lip when sans came dangerously close to beating you.

You still won the round though and you let out a 'hell yeah!', while trying to not be too loud. You didnt want to wake the others.

Sans wasnt making any attempt to go, so you just started the next round. The TV screen was the only thing illuminating the room, but it was enough to see what you were doing.

Occasionally, you two would scrape shoulders when you leaned in seperate curves, and you really prayed that he wouldnt notice how close you had moved to him. But you just couldnt be an inch away and just sit there calmly. Besides, he didnt really _seem_   to notice or care, so what was the harm?

Just then, a small message appeared in the corner.

_Player 2 whishes to pause the game._

You cast a glance over to sans and pressed the button to pause. Setting your controler down beside you on the couch, you folded your hands on your lap and turned to look at him better. He slowly, hesitantly did the same, facing you. Only his hands were in his pockets once more.

He had unzipped his hoodie a while before because of the exhaustion and you could see his t-shirt. You were trying your best not to stare, and you kept telling yourself to quit your weird and out-of-place thinking. He probably only kissed you on that camping trip hat one single time and wont ever do it again. Why were you still thinking about it nearly 2 months later?

After all, you had been the first to start breaking the 'rules' or the challenge by leaning in, and who knew why he accepted? Maybe he just thought he had to so he wouldnt seem cold, or because his top-boss or whoever at the time told him to.

But that wouldnt explain the objects you found in the drawer, and still... What could he possibly like about you? It wasnt true, it couldnt be. Undyne, Alphys and Toriel must be mistaken. You were a nothing, and after he had heard, _seen_   you do those things? You were surprised he could stand you at all.

'(y/n), i...'

He slowly turned his head away, not being able to look at you while bringing up the subject.

'a-about those things, in the drawer... you know, the ones you found'

He cleared his throat and you immidiently felt miserable. You hadnt even apologized to him yet!

'Oh! Im so so sorry about that, by the way. I forgot to say sorry... I shouldnt have been snooping around in your room like that. I should have just seen that cloth and closed the drawer shut, like a normal person would have, but then I saw the glimpse of that picture and I just... Im sorry'

He listened to your ramble, still facing away. Why wasnt he looking at you?

'look... its okay. i actually wanted to apologize myself'

You blinked.

'For what?'

'w-well. i thought youd find that pretty... well, creepy'

He gave a little, nervous laugh, your stomach fluttered for some reason despite you hating the way you thought and you both settled into an akward silence. He cleared his throat again.

'so, uh, yeah... sorry for that, heh'

'Eh, its fine. I dont think its creepy, rather...'

You stopped, realizing what you had wanted to say. You werent going to finish that.

'rather what?'

He was looking at you now, but this time, you turned away to hide your obvious blushing. Why couldnt you think of anything else but how he looked incredibly adorable at the moment?

'Nevermind'

He gave a light laugh and stared at his controller, not making any attempts to pick it up. He seemed in thought, but then lifted his head again to see that you were facing him once more. You werent too akwardly close because your turning around to face each other had made you move in opposite directions, and you were truly thankful for it.

'oh, come on. id like to know wether that weirded you out... or at least to what degree!'

'What? No. You... Youll hate me for it'

'pfft, nonsense. why would i? were friends. besides, after you forgave me that easily for all the shit i did? its pretty hard to dislike you at all'

'P-Promise you wont be weirded out?'

'i usually dont make promises, but this time, ok. you heard me. you could even consider me in your depth for that forgiveness of yours...'

'Really?'

'yeah. now just spit it out, i wont mind anything'

'W-well... I actually thought it was kinda... cute'

You turned your head away, buried your face in your hands and wanted the earth to open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Why did you say that? Couldnt you just have lie- Oh. He could sense lies... right. So no chance on getting out of that one.

He chuckeled to your surprise.

'hehe. you know what? your adorable. especially when you try to hide your blushing like that'

You felt heat gush into your face and you tried to hide it with your hands. He had meant that platonically, right? Surely. He couldnt possibly...? But... wasnt that kindof illegal at the moment? Why was he risking it? Or was he really thinking of nothing but being friends at the moment, and you were just imagining things as usual?

He sighed and let his gaze drift across the room. You gave a grunt at him seeing you like this, but you had nowhere to hide, no room to dissapear into. Maybe the 'having your own room' thing hadnt been such a bad idea after all.

'look, (y/n). there was more of a reason why i wanted to talk than just... _that_. sure, it was embarressing for me, but only because i thought youd be mad or creeped out. cuz, well, you know... it kindof indicates that i... that i...'

There was a piece of you just raging for you to just tell him the truth and just get to know what he was talking about, and eventually, you sighed as well, putting your hands down and staring absentmindedly at the screen.

'That you what?'

You asked in a soft and calm voice, not wanting to rush him.

'oh gosh, you sure sound a lot like tori... but, uh... eh, nevermind'

You were looking at him now and raised an eyebrow.

'Hey, I said what I didnt want to after my 'nevermind', so now its your turn. It cant be that bad'

He gave a chuckle before answering, looking away.

'well... p-promise you wont hate me?'

You had to laugh at how he sounded shy and small with the exact same request.

'Hehe. Promise!'

'i mean. i thought you had already thought about it, but geez, your just too innocent, huh? well... wasnt your first thought that i was kindof... you know, obsessed? with...'

He was clearly blushing as he tried to hide his face in his own hands now. Alphys had successfully removed the handplates, and his white hands looked much better without them.

'Wait wait wait. Am I getting that right. Your actually obsessed with... _me_   of all people?'

He buried himself deeper into his palms and then nodded. Your own face wasnt much better. Did that mean he liked you?

You felt a voice inside you screaming 'YES! YES HE FUCKING DOES! AND MORE THAN JUST PLATONICALLY FOR GOODNESS SAKE!' at the top of its lungs, and you gave a chuckle. He probably did, didnt he?

[THAT VOICE WAS ME YOU DENYING GAL]

Your heart fluttered for a moment as you thought about it. The most perfect person in the world liked you back. Sure, you kindof werent allowed to have anything between you, and he probably didnt want to, either. Why would he risk his entire reputation for something small like this? It still made you happy though.

He slowly looked up and then stared into the dark, away from you. You couldnt help but wanting to move a tad bit closer. The feeling was getting unbearable, and you scraped together all of your ninja skills and moved juuust an inch closer, only creating a tiny bit of sound. Surely he hadnt heard it, and you werent touching or anything, there were still two inches of space left until you did.

He didnt seem to have heard or seen you when you slid another inch closer. Just one wouldnt do any harm. He wouldnt even notice, or think anything of it, right?

Suddenly he turned his head towards you and you nearly flinched back into your original position, but you held yourself. You were looking away at the floor to your side to hide your blush and you were just praying to all gods that he didnt notice the change. But you hadnt been able to take the distance, not after finding out that he might like you as well.

'hey (y/n). would... would you forgive me if... i did something really stupid? like, really really stupid, but not exactly harming of anyone?'

You snorted and looked at him to find that he had blue all over his face.

'Of course. Why wouldnt I forg- 

You were cut off as you suddenly felt his hands grab your face by the cheecks and his juuust an agonizingly small inch away. He was playing the game all over again.

You froze, and you caught yourself staring at his white lips. You wondered if it would feel just as amazing as the first time. You closed your eyes for a moment and you gave a look inside his soul just to see how increadibly happy and teased it was at the same time, but also haunted by fear of what you would say.

He slowly moved you closer, and you took one of his hands by the wrist and let it sit around your waist. His eyes were shining, and when you both slowly leaned in, you draped both of your arms around his neck.

And the answer to your previous question had been yes. Yes, it did feel just as amazing. Sure, this time you were a lot more worried about the consequences of being caught kissing on the couch at night, but anything would be worth it.

You moved together perfectly once more and you felt like an angel and a sinful demon at the same time, letting his tongue inside your mouth while exploring his. You heard him give a quiet moan, and you shivered as his hand gripped your waist tighter. Your arms were around his neck the entire time. You two didnt need any words, the kiss was more than enough to throw any doubts out the window.

You were extremely sensitive around the waist, your shoulders, neck and upper back, and you usually disliked any touches there. But if it was a touch from Sans, it felt even better than a normal touch as you pressed yourself closer.

There was a strange twinge in your soul, and it felt like there was a noticable magical force connecting yours to his, like there was a rope between you that made you be able to sense and feel one another by using a tad bit magic.

When the kiss ended, you two had two small strings of spit hanging there to still connect you. You gave a nervous laugh, yet not breaking them, and you felt pretty embarressed with your face blushing like mad until he suddenly moved his tongue out to lick the threads of liquid out of the air.

His tongue was one of the most beautiful shades of blue, just like his magic, and you felt yourself stare at it, mesmorized. Maybe, just maybe, you had seen the one thing more stunning and worth looking at than that sunrise. 

'like what you see?'

The tease caught you off-guard and you started blushing _even more_. You tilted your head down to hide it as best as possible, your mind already making up various embarressing, but in your head amazing scenarios. You just hoped that he would look into your sou-

'oh. my. god. _you_   are a fan of dirty talk?'

You felt your face grow even worse as you muttered his name and for him to stop. He chuckeled and let the hand that had left your face a moment ago stroke through your hair. You didnt complain at his distraction and suddenly felt like humming something, but were too embarressed and shy to do so.

'you can hum if you want to, you know'

'Saaans... Stop looking into my soul like that!'

'heh, sorry. it gets easier and more automatic the closer you are to someone'

You hesitated for a moment, but then just nodded, and you decided to test his 'soul reading'. You looked up to find him blushing wiht blue all over his skull, and it looked nearly as beautiful as his tongue. He chuckeled again and blushed more, obviously reading your thoughts like a magazine.

His hand on your waist was still there and refusing to let go, while his other hand was beginning to stroke through your hair.

Thats when you smiled, closed your eyes and called upon the memory of the past kiss, and then the first one. Reaching out to your own magic, you found that he was right: You barely had to think about it to see his soul. And you began recalling the first and second kiss perfectly and went a bit closer to him, but not leaning in any closer than that.

'oh geez... y-your r-really mean, h-huh?'

You opened your eyes and smiled with delight as you saw that he was blushing more than ever, even a light bead of sweat on his forehead, however that was supposed to work. Although, he was more of a monster that simply resembled a human skeleton somewhat, so it didnt surprise you.

'I guess so!'

And when your thoughts went further down the drain and more into your imagination, you smiled even wider as he groaned and cast you a warning glance, his hand stopping to play with your hair and sliding down to your shoulder.

'dont keep at that, doll. you really dont want to know what ill do if-'

His eyes widened as he read your thoughts and you stuck your tongue out at him.

_'welp. you asked for it'_

His voice was much deeper, and you felt your soul squirm in both anticipation, interest and also somewhat arousal. You wanted to know what he would do pretty badly.

The answer was a furocious kiss, as he tried to dig as deep as possible into your mouth. His kiss was filled with hunger and dominating power, and you let him prevail and didnt protest as the hand that had been on your shoulder pressed your head against his skull through your hair.

It was impossible for you two to move any closer than you already were, and yet you both seemed to keep trying to do just that, even though sans felt somewhat tense. He was holding back. When you were running out of air, wanting to pull away from the kiss, you felt him forcefully hold you closer still, and you began to realize what he was doing.

You had to breathe through your nose, and it was much louder. You felt embarressed, but you werent going to cut your breathing just because of it.

And just when you were getting panicked that you may black out because of your lack or oxygen, he pulled away and you leaned over in a few pants. You tired to muffle the noise with your hands, but he grabbed both your wrists and pulled them over his back once more.

That also left you exposed to the fact that your face was redder than ever, and you were looking down to hide it, but you knew that that wouldnt do much against his ability to read your soul. And judging by the way his pupils grazed all over you, you werent doing a very good job at hiding how good that had felt.

You couldnt think of any place you would rather be at the moment, and although you hated to admit it, you were enjoying the fact that what you two were doing was forbidden. It just added to the excitement so much, and it meant that you cared for one another and needed one another enough to be willing to take the risk.

After a moment of silence, you just leaned in again and put your forehead on his shoulder, sighing happily. You felt protected and important, maybe even loved. Like you made a difference for once, like you werent just the one holding everyone back with unneccessary requests and wishes.

There was a comfortable silence between you two as you just sat there, enjoying the moment, and you felt as glad as ever that sans spoke up about this and that you had been brave for once. After a while though, you felt something tug at his soul, sans stirred and you wanted to put your arms away so he could move, but he stopped and decided to hold them in place for a few seconds before actually pulling away.

When you looked at him, you nearly pulled him into another kiss at the sight before you. Looking at him from a bit further away resulted in the unzipped jacket also being in your view and for once, you werent afraid to stare a bit while blushing as he moved to lean against the back of the couch.

 

**[Skip over. Basicly they kiss a few times and find out that they have a soul connection meaning that when they are physically close, they can somewhat share memories and such]**

 

'sorry, i just... i dont know how much of that closeness i can take before i feel the need to jump you next morning'

He sounded sleepy, but the humor in his voice was hard to miss. You chuckled a bit and then nodded.

'Its okay. Its late anyway, you should get some rest'

'okay, okay, _mom_ '

You laughed and he winked at you before he dissapeared upstairs. You sighed once more and leaned back into the couch, closing your eyes in thought. You felt happyness deep within your soul, and your smile grew wider as you thought of him.

Opening your eyes and standing up, you shut off the screen and the gaming console and then sat back down for another moment to adjust to the darkness in the room. After that, you got everything ready so you could go to bed, and you immedietly fell asleep with a smile still lingering on your lips.

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The next morning at breakfast, you couldnt help but notice a completely new feeling in your soul.

You knew exactly where it was located now, and since you had found out you had magic, you were always wondering what kind of spells you could cast.

Nobody except sans knew of your magic, and you didnt even know where it came from in the first place. But you desperatly wanted to be able to control it better before you told them about it so they wouldnt freak out, and so you could show off everything you could do right from the start.

Juuust as a side bonus.

And since you were so aware of your soul, you had roughly devided your new powers into three types: Manifestating inanimate objects (MIO), creating animate living beings (CALB) and casting soul magic, (CSM).

All three types were mainly self-explanatory. You had also noticed how the last one took the least effort, while the second one took the most. But your soul always felt so filled with this strength you felt like you wouldnt ever run out of it, so you didnt worry about the usage of it too much.

You had just recently discovered soul magic, and it was able to do plenty of different things to souls and to your mind. Hell, you could even use your magic as a drug if you wanted to, or just as telepathy to someone else.

And ever since you had that time with sans last night (you still blushed at the thought), you were much more conscious of your soul, but also could... _sense_   his. When you looked inside it, you saw more than just its outer look, but you could read his emotions from it like an open book instead of having to guess what symptoms and colors in his soul symbolize what.

You had realized that you had slowly gained the ability over your time spent with him without noticing. Maybe this was even one of the side effects that were so dangerous that Alphys had been talking about. What if his magic influenced your soul in such a way that made you gain magic?

In any case, you also felt an extremely strong connection to sans now. It was more than anything youve ever felt before, and you knew your magic definitly had something to do with it. You werent sure just how aware of the connection he was, but you would have to ask him later, when you two were alone. That shouldnt be an all too rare occurance though since you both mainly hung out at home.

You had been staring off into the distance while eating, automatically putting food in your mouth. When you snapped back out of your trail of thoughts, you had finished your plate already, and you stood up to put your plate and silverware into the sink.

While washing the plates already in it, you suddenly remembered what you had been planning for today, and that you actually had to ask a favor of Toriel for once.

When she came in with the rest of the plates, you swiftly took them out of her paws and began washing them, humming some sad, but pretty melody you were just coming up with on the go.

[Yes, its 'his theme' that you, the reader, are humming]

And the longer Toriel stood there, a bit baffled, the clearer the sound became in your head until there was more than one party and you couldnt go any complexer with just one voice. You had noticed Toriel's look being a bit... off, and you stopped humming when you were done with the dishes to face her.

She immedietly went back to normal a moment after you faced her, and seemed to be a bit lost, but then caught herself.

'Ah... (y/n), you did not have to do that. I could have helped you with those dishes'

'Nah, its fine, mom. Oh, I just remembered... can I ask you a favor?'

'Of course, my child! What is it?'

'I-I... I wanted to buy some watercolors and a highlighter... Sans really wanted me to draw a galaxy, and I need those things to do so. I could also use them to draw a better sunrise. So... I thought maybe I can help you with everything for the day, and then we can go shopping? Its not going to cost much, actually. It should be rather cheap'

'Oh, it is alright, my child, I would love to go buy something if it makes you happy. You do not need to help me any more than you already have, though. It is alright. Now, when should we go?'

'Oh gosh... Thanks, mom! I dont have any plans, as usual, so whatever time suits you!'

'Alright! How about in an hour? I have to finish up some quick papers, and then we can go'

'Okay! Thanks again, though!'

'No need to thank me'

And with that, Toriel dissapeared into her room to finish up said papers while you went back into the living room. Asgore, Frisk and Papyrus werent there, only sans sat on the couch watching TV as usual. You sat down as well since you had to wait for quite some time anyways.

He was casually flicking through the channels when you suddenly felt a light tug, or rather, a signal in your soul and words that werent your own echoed in your mind.

~So, you can look into souls too, huh?~

You turned to him and raised your brow, and he just chuckeled at your face expression before continuing the mind conversation.

~Hey, we cant let them know about this anyways, so you might as well learn how to use your magic in some... useful ways.~

You nodded to him and didnt know wether to wait for an explanation of how to do it or just try some way. You got your answer almost immedietly.

~Just focus on your magic and... mind talk, I guess? Just try. Well get here from there on.~

You let your gaze drift off and then fixated it firmly on the corner of the television. It was a good point to focus on and you began reaching out to that power at the very bottom of your soul. It was like taking a penny from a gigantic ocean chest at the bottom of the sea, and when you had your magic ready, you just followed your stomach feeling and made a message.

-Like this?-

~Exactly. And now you have to get used to using it without trying so hard. Just... naturally talk through your soul~

-Shouldnt be too hard.-

You smiled at him as the information flowed from you to him fluently without you having to really try at all, and then you pretended to be watching TV again.

~Welp, that was a long and tedious training session... Hehe. Nice learnin there.~

-Thanks. Also, something about last night...-

~What about it?~

-Well... Like, you know more about politics than me, and if you have this 'doctor' thing, you should know about those 'dangers' that their all talking about, and what the punishment for being caught is, right?-

~Heh, I like that. Not some punishment for _doing_   it, but for getting caught... Anyways, well, the punishment would probably be somethng like soul debonding and enprisonment or just having the two being apart for some time, which would be around one month to a year. Then in some cases, there is also a fine, but most of the time there's not. And the doctor thing? I may tell you more about it later, ok?~

His soul darkened a bit as he continued after a moment of both physical and magical silence.

~The dangers? Well, for one, a human can develop magic, as you did. And not everybody is ready for the responsability of having such powers. Its usually much weaker, but... well, considering how bright your soul is and how much magic I have, I am _not_ surprised it turned out like this. But there is also something... else.~

More silence. You were beginning to get a bit uncomfortable in your sitting position.

~I just... look... It takes some time to explain, okay? Ill tell ya later. Toriel should be finished in a moment~

You didnt like his change of subject, but you trusted him. Even after what happened, you forgave him and trusted him. He forgave you, so you forgave him. Sure, that took you about a month, but you two managed just fine, and you were glad you did. Your friends had a harder time, and Undyne was never around him alone and tried to hide her discomfort pretty well, and they all admired you for being able to forgive so easily.

You wanted to spend more time around him, but then reminded yourself of your ultimate goal. To make him smile like that again, to see his pupils literally turning into hearts within stars. You smiled even more as you jumped off the coach. You were ready to fulfill your mission.

~Where are you two going, anyways?~

-Thats a surprise, silly. But you'll find out soon enough!-

You knew that he would want to look into your soul, but you pulled your power up and deflected his try to see inside your world. He sighed.

~Your really good at managing your magic, you know. It took me years to not blow up places when I was getting annoyed or irritated, and dont even get me started on being able to manage tedious and carefully studied soul magic!~

You chuckeled lightly at the image of a miniature sans throwing his hands up in annoyance only for the house he was in to be thrown up into the sky a few miles high with them. Blocking out the ridiculous image, you focused and gathered your willpower. You had to find something cheap, but you also had to be able to work with it. You wondered wether you would be able to find similair or even the same supplies you had _before_.

Just as you went to approach Toriel's room, she came out with a tired, but satisfied and decently happy expression.

'Are you done? If, uh, your tired, we can wait a bit more?'

She laughed and her face seemed to brighten up immedietly.

'Oh no, it is alright. Im actually in quite a good mood after seeing how supportive some humans have grown to the negotiations. Now, I just need a minute to get my things together, and then we cane go!'

'Okay then! Thanks again, mom!'

'Dont mention it, my child'

 

 

You never thought it would take you this long to find just what you needed.

You were in the third art store already, but you just couldnt find _exactly_   what you needed. You were going through the millionth shelf with a massive variety of highlighters, but nothing seemed to quite fit well enough.

You already found a few paper stumps in all sizes you needed for further pencil drawings, the perfect paper, thick and best for watercolors, but you still had to find a highlighter and the actual watercolors themselves. You also thought about getting some extremely easy to erase pencils, but you didnt want to strain your budget too much.

You were looking at one of the highlighters and trying it out, thinking that it should be fitting, when you spotted an odd looking shelf not too far away.

Your attention was drawn from your current task completely as you went to look what had caught your sight, and you found that it was a watercolor kit. But not just any.

It had 36 colors and it brought up a few memories: You had used a slightly older version of it before. The price tag worried you though. It wasnt as cheap as you would have hoped, and you didnt want to burden Toriel any more than you already had. She had spent so much time looking with you, you knew you would feel guilty for a week at the very least.

You wanted to step away and chose a different set of watercolors, but the shadow looming over you told you that your mother had seen you looking at this particulair kit for quite some time already.

'Would you like this one, my child? It looks quite professional, so I can imagine you would need one like this to draw so well'

'Wh-What? N-no, Its way to expensive! I cant ask you to buy something like this. Ill find something else and deal with it'

'Oh, no no. It is quite alright price wise. If you would like this one, I can get it'

'But... You all have already done so much for me, I cant ask of something like this. I just-'

'Thats it. I have heard enough'

And then, with a firm stature and without hesitation, she picked out one of the sets and put them in the bag she had brought along. You tried reasoning, arguing and convincing her, but she stayed firm and you just had to roll with it. You were quite a pushover at times, especially when it came to your friends and family. You sighed and went back to looking for proper hightlighters and ink pens.

You found what you needed soon enough, and you felt as guilty as ever as you saw how much it all costed. You promised yourself to make it up to Toriel any way possible. 45 Dollars were far too much to spend on you if you hardly ever even helped her. You were going to help her every time she went out to the school, as tiring as it was. You felt like you had to.

 

 

Back at home, you hummed happily, your guilt mainly gone for now. Sans was still on the couch and gave you a lifted eyebrow, but you ignored him as you took the things to Toriel's room. You had told her that sans didnt know what you had bought, and she offered for you to draw in her room and at her desk instead of in the living room so he would only see the finished piece.

You were already setting everything up, and your mom went to tell sans that he wasnt allowed to come in her room for now. You could feel how it got him really frustrated and curious, but he had to deal with it as of now.

Beginning with just staring at the wall to form a proper idea in your head, you then began trying out certain colors, the brushes, the hightlighter and everything else. It took you some time to grow confident enough to start, but when you did, you already had the perfect idea in mind.

You wanted to make a night's sky out on a countryside, the milkyway visible above the green and nature view. The sky would be slowly fading from dark blue into a medium purple, showing that the sun had just set. You thought about how it would be fairly easier with Acrylic paint, but that would cost too much. Maybe someday, though.

 

After a few hours of patient and tedious working, you were done. You couldnt have been happier with the result as you jumped up to clear all of the art supplies away. You cast out your magic to see wether anybody was in earshot since you had no idea what had happened during your time of working on that drawing, and when you found that nobody was there, you began humming again, which turned into quiet singing. You hadnt done that in a while.

'Red like roses fills my dreams and

brings me to the place you rest.

White is cold and always yearning

burdened by a royal test!'

Your voice was getting a bit louder, but nobody was in the house to hear. It had really been long since the last time you heard your own singing voice, and you smiled happily as you stored your art supplies away and put the finished piece of art in the middle of the desk to dry.

'Black the beast descends from shadows.

Yellow beuty burns -

GOLD'

[The song is called Red like Roses part 1 by Rooster Teeth, if anybody was wondering. Those are all the lyrics though. The song is amazing I command you to check it out]

You went into the kitchen, now in the perfect mood to sing your lungs out. Your singing might be terrible, but you still enjoyed it a lot. You couldnt recall any other songs to sing to at the moment though so you simply repeated what you had already sung.

You still kept carefully checking wether anybody was in earshot though, and as soon as the front door swung open, your voice died down and you pretended to simply be drinking some water in the kitchen as sans lazily came in.

'so, can i know what youve been doin now or is it still a dead secret?'

You smiled at him and forgot about your glass of water completely as you rushed out of the kitchen after grabbing his wrist and tugging him to Toriel's room.

'You sure can see now! I really really hope you like it!'

He seemed a bit puzzpled, but as soon as he saw the drawing his eyesockets seemed to widen and his pupils began to shine in literal little white hearts. You were beaming at having successfully completed your mission of seeing him so happy again.

'So? What do you think? Its yours as soon as it dries!'

'oh my frickin god... this looks amazing! thanks so much! how long were you drawing this?'

You cast a glance at the clock, still smiling brightly from seeing his pupils gazing over the picture on Toriel's white desk.

'About 3 hours nonstop, if you count the thinking then about 3 hours and 20 minutes!'

'wow... you really put some work into this. it looks really good'

'Th-thanks again. I hoped you would like it. I got all of this art supplies only for this picture that you had been asking me about for so long, so if you think its worth keeping, I have done my job!'

'worth keeping? seriously? this needs its own museum! i definitly have to repay you for this one somehow'

'Ohhh no no no no. You already saved my life three fucking times, thats enough'

'you should be glad frisk aint around. youd have to give a dollar for that'

'Pffft. I dont have any dollars to give, silly! Besides, its really fine. What made you think I could need something from you for the picture? I love drawing, so its a win win, really'

'oh? is there _really nothing_   you could need or want from me?'

The suggestive tone in his voice made you blush a bit as he turned around to you and took a step closer. You felt your soul flutter up and you let your eyes rest on his face, studying his expression and the matter on his head carefully, trying to take in every detail. Your gaze then stopped at his mouth and you bit your lip.

You wanted to kiss him right now, but were still shy about it, and you heard him chuckle as you felt him read your soul easily before taking another step and putting his arms around your waist. Your heart felt like it was melting as you slightly lifted your head to look at him and felt his protective grip around you.

It didnt take long as your lips met his in a loving and gentle kiss. The way he looked at you when he pulled away was making you feel like you were in heaven, and you let out a small laugh out of pure happyness. You knew that nobody could find out about this, that you were doing something forbidden, but you really couldnt care less at the moment. You just wanted to sink into this feeling of security and Happyness for once.

You both rested your foreheads on one another, and you had your ellbows on his shoulders with the rest of your arms on his back. You felt one of his hands slowly glide from your waist to your shoulder, not breaking the contact once, and you shivered at the tingeling sensation. You could feel him read your soul once more and you both held one another tight as you sunk into another kiss, your tongue happily playing with his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I started writing again! Im still writing though, so the next update will probably only be in a few weeks. 10k chapters are really, really big. Like, huge. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


	8. True Forgiveness? Why?

Your wonderful moment was torn apart violently as the door to the house opened and you both quickly pulled away, a somewhat guilty feeling in your chest. He winked to you one last time before teleporting out just before Toriel came into her room to look for you.

You smiled at her and told her you had finished the picture. She praised you as well, and you thanked her as good as you could, but the space around you felt... empty. You still kept the longing for sans' warmth, and it took you quite some time of talking with Toriel and trying to think of other things to stop you from wanting to squirm around.

You then went to help your mother make dinner, glad for another distraction. It was going to be rice with steamed carrots and steak, the latter taking the longest to prepare. You had learned a hella load about cooking during your time with your mom, so you had no problems taking over the majority of the tasks since she seemed a bit tired today. You couldnt take over the magic part of it though.

Halfway through the process, when everything relating magic was done, you told her to go rest and that you would finish the meal. She was reluctant at first, but realized that she indeed was quite tired and then sat down to rest. Soon after, You could hear Asgore and Frisk coming to sit at the table as well while the meal fizzled in the frying pan.

And despite everything, all you could think of was him. Wether sans would be there as well, wether he was thinking about you too. You stopped to stare at the walls from time to time, but the sounds from the food cooking always brought you back into the presence fairly quickly. When you were done, you were about to carry two plates inside when your soul resonated and you felt sans presence step into the living room. 

You gave a sigh, unsure what to do about the reactions of your soul and your thoughts, and carried dinner inside. When you were done, you sat down as well and dug in. It wasnt too bad at all, and you were satisfied with how things turned out. You blushingly brushed off the comments of your friends when they found out that you made dinner yourself, hoping that your mind would fall back into routine.

It didnt.

Your gaze constantly kept swishing over to sans, who had fairly little on his plate but still took a few bites from time to time. He usualy hardly ate at all, but today you were glad he'd get something into his... stomach? How the hell did that even work?

You really didnt want to be caught staring, so you tried to focus on other things from time to time, even though you knew that sans was aware of how you felt. He never hesitated to look into your soul, even after you stopped looking into his as much as possible.

The conversation was fairly peaceful and didnt involve you, which you were glad for. You could just sit there and look like you were listening.

~Thinkin bout me, I see?~

-Oh shut up and eat. Not MY fault that you look so cute!-

You smiled a bit more as you saw him blush lightly, getting himself a comment from Papyrus and Frisk. He just laughed it off, but it had clearly been embarressing for him.

~Oh you are going to pay for that!~

-Pay for what? For making poor sansy blush?-

~Your askin for it~

You smiled even brighter, your soul being clearly pleased by how you were spending time with him. Your magic was sure coming in handy right now.

Just then, the image of Papyrus being in his christmas tree outfit flashed in your mind, clearly not from your own thoughts. You had to snort and it earned you a few suspicious looks, but you simply waved it off, saying that you just thought of something funny. Sans seemed pleased by his work and let you wash the dishes in peace. You too decided to focus on your task instead of messing more with him, since that would most definitly bring even more unwanted attention.

When you were done with the dishes, Asgore and Toriel were discussing something in the King's room, Frisk was playing with Papyrus infront of the Tv and sans was trying to watch the screen. He chukeled from time to time when he saw them play pretend: Papyrus was the big and fierce monster while Frisk was the hero. The two looked absolutely adorable.

Flowey was not too far off, standing on the table in his pot and watching them as well. He looked rather annoyed, but was quiet and not causing any trouble, so you decided to talk to him.

You sat down on the couch, ignoring a look from sans, and turned towards Flowey.

'Hey, Flowey. Whats gotten you so down, huh?'

'dun worry bout him. hes always like that'

You shot sans a look before turning back to the flower.

~I usually call him pisspetals, but Frisk wouldnt be too happy about that.~

You supressed a snort at Flowey's nickname as you looked at him for an answer to your question. After a moment, he rolled his eyes and grunted.

'Ugh. Im fine. I know your trying to be all nice and stuff, but you really dont have much of a chance here'

'Why that?'

'Long story'

'Oh, well, I guess thats fine then. But that doesnt mean you cant at least talk to me'

'Why the hell would I want to talk to you?'

'Because I asked nicely?'

'Pfft, yeah right. Like that would get me to talk'

'Well, okay then. Just thought Id try to be nice to you, but oh well'

You shrugged a bit and turned to see Frisk looking pretty tired. Papyrus saw them being exhausted after their pretend battle and lifted them up to carry them to their room. You had to supress an 'awww' as he took Flowey with him and headed for Frisk's bedroom with them in his arms. It was absolutely adorable.

A moment later, Papyrus went upstairs as well and tried to get sans with him, but sans refused. Your soul sparked up with excitement and anticipation. You knew why sans was staying there and not going yet. When Papyrus was already in his room and the hallway where Toriels and Asgores rooms were grew quiet, you cast a quick glance to sans, who had turned the TV down a bit.

He looked at you and chuckeled.

'gee. you really cant wait to continue what we started after the picture, huh?'

His voice was lower than usual and a low whisper to not be noticed. You could feel a flutter in your stomach.

'Mayyybe~'

You didnt want to admit it out loud, but yes, you did want to continue that. Ever since it started.

As soon as he heard you, he reached out and gripped you tightly, kissing you aggressivly. You could feel that he was a bit tense again, as if holding something back, and a glance into his soul told you that he was.

None the less, his hands were travelling along your body, feeling your curves and making your face hotter than ever. His hands werent cold to the touch, nor was his skull as his fingers went along your waist and back. When he pulled away, gazing softly at you, one of his hands went up to run a finger along your jawline, and you felt a bit tickelish, but sunk into the feeling. You felt arousal cover you with goosebumps and you shivered.

'your really beautiful, you know that?'

You began blushing profousely, drawing your head back a little and then shaking it lightly.

'No Im not...'

'of course you are, dont be ridiculous. to me your the most beautiful and pretty thing to have ever crossed my path'

You were blushing more, hiding your face with your hands. You werent pretty, or beautiful in any way. Sure, he was being pretty sweet, but it still felt like a lie to you. And yet, you could see that his soul remained calm when he said it, so for him, it was the truth. You felt tears at the corners of your eyes. How in hell did you get so damn lucky to have him here right now?

'Noo, Im not... How many humans have ever crossed your path then?'

'enough to know that your the best of all of em'

'Saaaans! Thats not true!'

'why wouldnt it be? does it look like im lying to you?'

'No, but... but, Im not! Im sorry, I just-'

He let one of his hands lift your head to face him by your chin and the other gently cover your mouth. You could still move it, but you got the message of not talking.

'shh. you _are_   beautiful. never forget that, and dont you dare doubt it, either'

His tone was jokingly a bit threatening, and he let his hands sink to take your waist. Your hands were placed on his shoulders lightly as you tried to find the proper words to answer.

'Sans, I am absolutely certain that Im NOT beautiful. Im still too skinny, my limbs are thin and weak, I walk in a really ugly way, I-'

'what can i do or say to convince you otherwise?'

He interrupted your ramble, looking into your eyes deeply, as if searching for something that he couldnt read in your soul. 

'Nothing! Because its true!'

You heard yourself say, frustration and deep certainty in your voice. But a glow from your chest was showing you that your soul had something to say about it. You saw sans' gaze rest on the aqua glow, at the same time looking at a half-sensitive spot.

You were blushing a bit, but he didnt seem to notice as one of his hands went up to place one finger in the middleof your chest above your breasts, similair to how Alphys had done before she pulled your soul out. He hesitated.

'may i?'

You were a bit unsure as your concious mind had already completely forgiven him, but your subconcious still seemed to hold some sort of invisible grudge for what had happened, even if it was two months ago. But you slowly nodded before feeling the light tug, and your soul was floating there before you, brighter than ever.

The black tendrils, veins and wounds were still there, even if they seemed a tad bit... less severe, but hardly with any noticable changes. There was still the gradiating from the bottom to the top of your soul, complete black flowing up into a shining dark aqua. 

The main change was that it was a good bit brighter than before and had a spot of bright aqua in the middle. The entire room was lit up, specks of light dancing across the walls, floor and ceiling, reflecting off furniture and bouncing from one spot to another randomly. Sans pupils seemed to be glowing as well, firmly set on the culmilation of your very being, gazing into it with enough intensity to make it obvious that he was looking for something.

You could see your own thoughts and memories reflect in it. It was mainly about sans, but also a bit about your friends, with an occasional scene of violence and fear flashing through. You were feeling uneasy and let your hands take sans. He immedietly gripped your hands tightly, giving you enough comfort to stay calm.

'i can see why your soul wanted to be called out... you dont believe in yourself still, do you? you still think that you dont deserve what you get, that your less, your lower than everybody else. but look. thats. not. true. and i would fight anybody who would dare to object'

'Sans, I-'

'no, listen to me. your so much more than just barely good enough. you didnt deserve what your father gave to you, and neither did you deserve what _i_ did to you. its a miracle that you forgave me at all. they didnt see how much you were really hurt and forgave me, but i did. with my own eyes. you should just hate me right now, despise me for betraying you like that. you didnt deserve it, and i dont deserve you'

You fell silent, searching for the right words before answering.

'Sans, you saw what I did, didnt you? How I... What _I_ did was unforgivable, you just did what you thought was right and-'

'no, i didnt. i knew it was wrong, i knew pretty fucking well that it was wrong, but i did it anways. you were forced to do what you did. you didnt have a choice. its not your fault, it never was and never will be'

'Sans, I...'

You trailed off, not knowing what to say. Your thoughts were conflicted, arguing against one another in your head. One part of you didnt want to accept the fact that what happened wasnt your fault, while the other was following sans words. 

'look. i know that that kind of past scarred and bruised your soul like this, i can see it. it beat you down to the ground and made you believe you werent worth anything. but thats not true. and we will all be here to show you that'

You felt tears of happyness flood your vision once more and let your face rest in his shoulder, crying. He let his arms embrace you while being extremely careful to not harm your soul. It only took you a few minutes to calm down, and when you pulled back, you could feel your soul slowly slide back into its spot, resting deep within your chest, satisfied by how the situation turned out.

You whiped your remaining tears away and thanked him, unbelievably glad that he was there for you.

'its okay, im here. i still think your beautiful though'

'Saaans...'

'i should say it more often? okay. you look absolutely stunnin, ya know. with that increadible hair, those pretty eyes, that wonderful tasting mouth and uh, useful curves'

You couldnt help but snort. He just had to ruin the moment, didnt he? Your face was burning from never having recieved so many compliments in your entire life. You lifted an eyebrow at him.

'Useful, huh? I wonder for what?'

'yeah you really cant guess huh?'

'What if I cant?'

'whatever you say, babe'

Your face gushed with heat once again after only having calmed down a little, and you covered it with your hands again. You really didnt want to admit that you LOVED the new nickname. It made your entire being shiver with arousal. 

'ohhh, someone likes their new name? i wonder who it could be, _babe_ '

He spoke the last word in a much deeper tone, his voice dipping down, nearly a whisper and causing you to squirm. He had obviously just read your soul like a magazine and your stomach fluttered. He chuckled.

'hehe. you know, i could get used to using that... anyways. hate to spoil the party, but its pretty late. you should get your beauty sleep. not that you need it though'

You gave him a slightly annoyed, but at the same time smiling look in an attempt to be mad at him, but your heart felt light and happy, flushed by the compliment. You knew he was right that you had to go, but you didnt want to stand up just yet.

'Sans... One last kiss tonight? Please?'

You didnt have to ask twice as he pressed himself onto you, obviously wishing that it could last longer as well. And still... He was holding back.

You decided to ask him about it some other time and just enjoy the moment for now, to feel how he went deep, how his tongue and saliva tasted, how he had the desire to kiss you more and how he was a little rough to the end right before pulling away.

He looked bothered when you saw him and quickly turned away. It seemed to be pretty painful to stop your moment, but he had enough self-control to stand up and back away.

'right... good night then, sugar. sweet dreams' 

He quickly muttered out the last part before dissapearing into thin air, leaving you feeling all happy and giddely, yet at the same time a little bit empty because his familiar scent and warmth were gone. You smiled even brighter at him calling you sugar, having found another nickname for you. 

When you lied down to sleep, you felt relieved and calm. Everything was going to be alright as long as you had sans.

 

 

 

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A low, quiet voice not too far away woke you up.

'hey, (y/n). mind standin up to see the sunrise or ya rather want to sleep?'

'mHmmMm... Im cominn... Gimme a min'

You groaned as you hieved yourself out of bed, your senses immedietly fully awake as soon as you sat up. You sighed as you looked at the clock. It was 4 AM, and you were pretty sure it wasnt very healthy to be ripped out of sleep like that in the morning. You could have kept sleeping, but something told you that another reason why sans asked was to see if you would still trust him enough to follow him somewhere.

To be completely honest, you had a hard time forgiving at first, but seeing him broken down back then... made things a tad bit easier. You wanted to be there for him no matter what he had done, even if it was wrong. 

We all make mistakes to learn from them, after all.

When you fully stood up, sans was in the kitchen apparently doing something, but mainly giving you privacy so you could dress. When you were done, you decided to pay him back for those few times he had just teleported out just like that or tried to sneak up on you. You were as careful as possible and you saw him staring absentmindedly into one of the drawers when you came around the corner.

'Whats suddenly so interesting in the knife drawer, huh?'

He jumped and his hands flung up, emmiting an amazing blue glow, but he calmed down when he saw you. 

'god... dont scare me like that, (y/n)!'

He gave a nervous, small laugh, and you giggled as well before walking over to the door, sans close behind you. He seemed like he was... bothered by something in his mind, but you brushed it off. Probably none of your buisness.

'Its what you get for sneaking up on me those few times the past week. Now you at least know how it feels to be scared shitless!'

You both began to laugh again at your half sarcastic tone, sans opening the door with his magic. You breathed in the fresh, pleasant air, not really warm, but not too cold either. It felt perfect to you, and now that summer was finally there, you knew that your monster friends and family were going to get you out of the house far more often. Suddenly, you remembered something.

'Hey, sans?'

'yeah?'

'You know on that camping trip... What Undyne did?'

'uhhh... yeah... that was pretty mean of her...'

'Eeeexactly. Im planning to prank her somehow, just to get her back for it'

'oh... thats actually... not a bad idea'

'Sooo... You got any prank ideas?'

He chuckeled.

'you bet i do'

So you two spent the walk to Mt. Ebott's edge plotting and planning on how to properly get Undyne back for that embarressing moment. You exchanged ideas until you arrived, and when you did, you already had the perfect plan in mind. You two silently sat down, gazing across the sky in anticipation for the sun to start rising.

'you know, i was wondering wether you would even want to follow me after... that'

He made a movement with his hand towards the city far below you. You sighed.

'Sans, I forgave you a long time ago. Dont dwell on these things'

'but... how? how can you forgive me for something like that? i could have gotten you killed! i watched them hurt you, torture you! and i knew what was going on, but i didnt do a single thing! i was the one who lured-'

'Sans STOP. Stop blaming yourself. People make mistakes! Its okay, really. Just forget about it'

'forget about it? i cant just forget something like that! i just-'

'Sans! I mean it! Just stop thinking about it! Im fine with it, okay?'

'i can see your soul. _i know your only fine with it because you still believe that you deserved what you got!_   but you didnt! _i was the one who deserved something like that!'_

'Sans, nobody deserves anything like that'

You were saying it, it was coming out of your own mouth, but the words sounded empty and seemed to holler. Your tone was cold. It was obvious that you didnt believe what you were saying yourself, that you were just trying to get sans to calm down.

'you dont believe that, but you should. please tell me. what on earth, hell and heaven can i do to make you believe in yourself? make you see that your not lower than anybody else, that... that they and me truly care about you rightfully?'

You fell silent and looked out to the stars. Nothing, you thought bitterly, because it wasnt true, because they hadnt seen everything yet. When sans spoke, his voice was much softer than usually, so much so that you were surprised to hear him like this.

'what havnt we seen yet?'

You flinched and looked around wide-eyed as if a ghost had spoken to you. When your gaze met his again, you quickly looked away, not wishing to face him. He sighed before moving a bit in his position to take your hands in his.

'you dont have to talk about it if you dont want to, you know. but look. you were forced to do what you did, dont forget that. and i... i forgive you for it'

You froze in place. Sure, he had indirectly hinted at it, but he hadnt said it out loud yet. You turned to him, wide-eyed once more.

'R-really...? Sans, I h-have an LV of 23! Y-you cant just look over that! Th-the n-number wont ever change, i-it... it makes it e-easier to k-kill for me, y-you cant just-'

'listen, sugar. thing is... i dont care. i know where your priorities lie now, and i know that you wouldnt change them for the world. i... probably should have really said it out loud sooner, but better later than never. so yeah, i forgive you. even though you never conciously did anything wrong and shouldnt need forgiving'

'S-sans, I...'

Your sentence was broken by a sobb, and you felt sans come closer to embrace you. His warmth spread all over you and calmed your soul. You caught yourself fairly quickly this time.

'Thank you... Thank you so damn much, you have no idea... how much this means to me, I just... Im so happy right now, and you have full allowness to look into my soul to see just how grateful I am because I cant express in words, I just...'

'shhh, its okay, sugar. its okay. just relax and watch the rest of the sunrise with me, alright?'

You nodded and turned your head to see the sun starting to rise from the horizon line, coating the entire sky in the most beautiful colors. You were sitting on sans lap this time, and he had moved a few inches away from the ledge so you werent too scared. You smiled when you thought about how it was only the second most beautiful thing in the world.

'really, hun? now what in the world makes my tounge so interestin, huh?'

You giggled at the new pet name and cuddled deeper into his embrace. He was so warm and comfy...

'I dunno. It just looks beautiful to me... And pretty cool, too'

'was that an intentional pun? i assume no, but imma take it as one'

'Sans! Not everything is a pun, you bonehead!'

'that is though!'

'Well, kindof yes, but thats not my point!'

'yer point is just that you like how my tounge looks? but you know where it would look _even better?'_

His voice dipped down a bit and you shievered. Did this skeleton ever get his mind off of physical contact?

_'what if i dont?'_

NOW his voice was extremely low. You had forgotten he could read your mind like an open book. Arousal was making its way into your senses, and a small part of you wished that he would lean in closer to your ear when talking in that low octave. A chuckle told you you should have not thought of that.

_'like this, babe?'_

You shivered once more as you heard his breath swirl over your neck with his voice right by your ear. Your arousal climbed higher and you cursed yourself for your own thoughts. His voice was also extremely breathy, and it was turning you on far more than you wanted to admit to him, so you pulled somewhat of a wall up to shield your thoughts.

He immedietly pulled back and gave a dramatic sigh.

'awww, why the change of mind, sugar? didnt you think that was pretty... sweet?'

'Sans, what the hell does a sugar related pun have to do here!'

'hey, your officially my sugar, so any sweet related pun is justified in your presence'

'Says who!'

'definitly not the snobbish sugar on my lap right now!'

'Sans!'

'what? its true'

'Oh you!'

You laughed as you gave mit a playful push, and he laughed as well. You two spent the rest of the sunrise goofing around, joking and laughing. When you went home, there was comfortable silence between you, and he gave you another quick, daring kiss before entering home.

You groggily went back to bed after he had left for his own room, glee and joy filling your entire being and making you a bit too giddely to sleep, even though you were tired. Eventually, you still managed to fall asleep, happily smiling.

 

 

 

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Everything was set.

Undyne was having a sleep over at your home again, with her and Alphys sleepingbags in Toriels room while most of your other frinds were already gone for work. It had been two weeks since the planning and you had been extremely patient to catch just the right moment. But thats what you were both pretty good at, after all. Being patient and waiting for just the right moment to strike.

You knew Undyne fell asleep to music, so she had her earplugs in all night. Sans had been able to snatch her phone away once and make it so the next night, she would be woken at 6:33 AM, which, in itself, was already pretty mean.

But boy was it nothing compared to what you two had DONE.

You suppressed a snort as you heard cursing from a bit further away. You looked at sans. You were both sitting in the kitchen, waiting for Undyne to come in. You had front row seats to Undyne's complete demise.

She came in as planned, still huffingly cursing at her phone and headphones. She said a quick 'morning' and went on to make herself some small breakfast since nobody else was up and nothing was prepared. The face she made when she found that the insides of all the cupboards and drawers had been swapped was _Priceless_.

You gave a little snort as she began looking around to find her coffee, and when she did, she gave a relieved sigh, grabbing the electric kettle and turning the water on to fill it. 

Her FACE. When. The water. Splashed. ALL OVER HER.

 

'GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!'

She looked at both of you with the face of rage and made a look like she was going to murder you two this instant when there was a slight rattle and an open plastic jar full of syrup fell down from the top cupboard. She looked absolutely terrible, tired, confused, pissed, ruffled and messy.

'WHAT THE HELL, GUYS? WHYYYYYYY?'

She rushed off over to the bathroom while you and sans could barely hold your laughter. But it just got much worse when she grabbed the bathroomhandle to find it covered with peanut butter. Her swearing was loud enough to wake Alphys, who was groggily making her way to the kitchen only to find Undyne trying to at least whipe off all of the stuff from her.

The mirror had been replaced by a fake. Most of the lotions had swapped places. As soon as she opened the cupboard, a million golf balls came falling out. Alphys took a moment to get the situation, but she soon started cracking up as well.

You and the monster skeleton could hardly breathe, both rolling on the floor from laughter. It had been SO worth it. Undyne didnt come out of the bathroom for another hour after that, and you got sans to text her telling her that her soap was covered in nailpolish and that she should be glad that they didnt fuel ink into the shower. That just got you a capitalized 'FUCK YOU' message from her back, which nearly got you rolling on the floor once more.

While Undyne was washing herself, you all calmed down from your laughing and you explained to Alphys how this was for the dare thing that Undyne pulled. Alphys joked that everybody would have far more respect for you after they found out what happened, and that Undyne definitly wasnt going around and pulling anything of the sort ever again. 

When Undyne came out, she only had her Bra and underwear on because the rest of her clothes were completely destroyed. You were pleased to find that sans' soul didnt even move in the slightest at seeing her like this, and you both just continued laughing as she got herself some more clothes, having luckily brought some with her.

'ALRIGHT YOU FUCKIN PUNKS! _EXPLAIN! NOW!'_

Undyne sat down on one of the chairs in the kitchen, slamming both her fists on the table. Sans chuckeled before he answered.

'undyne, pal, did ya really think we'd forget the time on that wonderful camping trip? with, ya know, a certain... dare?'

His eyesockets were completely devoid of their shining white pupils for a moment, giving him a quite intimidating look. But after he finished, he just began laughing again. Undyne still looked pissed, but not as much as before. 

'Oh my god... I cant believe you did ALL OF THAT just because of some stupid dare I did when I was drunk... YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST!'

'Oh, dont worry Undyne. If we had more time, it would have been much worse, trust me... But at least we're even now!'

'yep. now we need to get to cleanin up before tori and frisk come back...'

'Oh shoot! I didnt think of that! We've got to hurry, mom will be back in half an hour and weve got a lot of shit to do!'

You jumped up and began putting all the insides of the cupboards and drawers back in place, having carefully remembered their place and order before rearranging them. Sans helped with his magic every now and then, mainly using it to clean various surfaces and the floor without standing up. You commented on his laziness shortly, but didnt dwell on it as you both cleaned up. 

Alphys still had to calm Undyne down from time to time, but the fish monster didnt do anything stupid and kept her anger contained as she saw just how much you had set up for her. You were done only a few minutes before the bell rang and you rushed to open it to see Toriel there. You smiled at your new mother. You all sure had something to talk about at tonight's dinner.

 

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

It was dinner, and Undyne was pretty embarressed as she explained exactly just how big the prank had been. Everybody laughed a few times through the short story and you got a good pat on the back from a few of your friends. Undyne was just continuing to tell the story when Toriel politely cut in.

'Im sorry to interrupt you, Undyne, but what exactly was so great that you had done that you got such punishment from these two?'

You and sans exchanged a look and Alphys cleared her throat nervously.

'well, ya see tori, it did have a specific reason, but...'

He trailed off a bit and Toriel looked at him, now rather interested.

'Oh? And may I know wh-'

She was cut off as the dinging noises from several phones interrupted her. Your friends made confused faces as they all reached out for their phones simultaniously, exchanging nervous glances. You looked at sans phone, whos expression changed quite a bit as he saw the message. The same message everybody got.

 **Unknown** : We know you've been hiding the slicing shadow with you. We need her with us, alive. Deliver her over to the harbour at 3 AM and spare yourselves the consequences.

You felt a light chill run down your back as you re-read the message over and over, then suddenly, anger rose in you and you felt like heading out to the harbour right now and ripping someone's head off. One couldnt notice that from the outside though as you just looked up and scanned the faces of your friends.

They were nervous and scared. Undyne slowly stood up and went to each and every window, using her magic to light the way outside a bit enough for her to see. When she was done, she sat back down, tension in the room. You had a sentence on your tongue, but your voice seemed like it was robbed from you. You didnt want to break the silence, so you carefully tapped the table and began to sign, not wanting to speak.

*Are you going to hand me over or?

'what? of course not! and dont you dare think that! your staying here no matter what. am i right, guys?'

'OF COURSE, PUNK! No way we're letting those guys get to ya!'

'We would always protect you, my child. There is no need to fear'

'W-we c-cant just hand you o-over! Y-your like f-family to us!'

'WE WOULD NEVER ALLOW SUCH A THING, (Y/N)!'

'DARLING we would be CRAZY to give them someone like you!'

'We will always take care of you, there is no need to worry'

You were close to tears again, hearing them so enthusiastic despite the situation, seeing them ready to face anything to defend you. Friends. Family...

'Th-Thank you... Thank you so much...'

You were nearly crying again from the joy of having so much support at your side. They were all so nice... 

'hey, its okay. we'll work through this, okay?'

You nodded towards them and took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Everything was fine. They werent bringing you anywhere, and those guys will probably be caught soon enough. After all, they had stated themselves that they would be present at 3 AM at the harbour, so the police shouldnt have a too hard time catching them. 

'I-Im just g-going to call the police, okay? I-Im considered a known f-figure, so it should be important i-if I do it'

The others nodded and Alphys stood up to pull out her mobile phone. She went a bit further away to talk to the officer on the other side, and your friends and Family all started discussing what to do now. Toriel wanted to plan a visit to the beach to ease up tension as soon as the first threats had passed, Undyne said that she and Alphys will lead the investigation. The knot in your stomach slowly eased and you felt relaxed and safe again, hearing them talk like this, even though you did have the small wish in your soul that sans could put his arm around your shoulders. He couldnt do that infront of everybody, though.

Sans didnt say much, just listened to them talk with one another. Asgore said that he would do an announcement, because he knew that humans who did crime feared an audience. Toriel agreed to work with him on that as Alphys was just coming back.

'A-Alright! Their on the case already. The o-officer said it was right to call him right a-away, so yeah! We're all good!'

The dinner continued once more, And Mettaton said how he would mention it on his next show saying how bad those people were and explaining why what they were doing was wrong, sure that his fans would have your backs. You thanked them all again and then Toriel started lively talking about the beach visit and how it would be the perfect oppertunity to calm down. Of course, it would only happen if the threats stopped completely and some time after this one, just so it was safe.

The rest of the dinner was just fine, and everybody relaxed. You helped Toriel with the dishes and then went into your room just to find sans quietly talking with Undyne. Toriel, Asgore and Frisk had headed for their rooms, and so had Papyrus. Alphys was already up the stairs where she was going to stay with her Girlfriend, and it seemed odd that she was still on the couch.

They both looked up to you when you entered and you gave them a questioning look. Undyne lightly shook her head and was about to go when sans spoke up.

'arent you going to tell her what you just told me, undyne?'

She froze and then turned back to him, angry.

'Sans, that was a talk between you and me! Dont think you can just wriggle yourself out of this one!'

'she'll find out sooner or later, ya know'

'Okay what the hell is this about? Undyne? What were you two talking about?'

She sighed and turned her head towards you, answering in a firm tone that didnt leave much space for arguments.

'Alphys will be leading the detective work while I will be guarding sans so he doesnt try anything'

'WHAT?'

It may not have left much space, but enough for you to yell about it.

'Undyne, I am most definitly NOT okay with that, and neither is sans. Did you talk with the others about this? What would Toriel say, or Papyrus? You cant pull something through like that without anybody being okay with it!'

'I DID talk to Toriel, and she said it was for the best. Asgore said so too, and since they are both the ruling figures of monsters, its their say! Ugh. Look, I know you may not like this, but... You cant just forgive his betrayal like that! He left you to die!'

'And he saved me right after, so I dont care what anybody says about it! I understand that your scared for me, but... Undyne, this is not how you get rid of your suspicion. This just makes it worse!' 

You sighed and relaxed your position a bit, straightening your back properly and continuing in a softer voice.

'Ill talk with Mom tomorrow and see what she really has to say about this, okay? We shouldnt jump to any rushed decisions right now'

Undyne grumbled something as she saw that you werent going to give in and then turned on her heel to go up the stairs to where she was staying. You gave sans a concerned look and he just shrugged, not knowing what to say or do. You sighed once more and then just sat down, relaxing for a moment with closed eyes before heading off to Toriel's room to get changed. 

When you came back, Sans was still there, staring off into the distance in silence. You switched the lights off and sat down beside him. You felt him move and then reach out to put one arm around your shoulders. You were still a but tense, voices in the back of your head chanting about his betrayal, but you ignord them and leaned into the feeling of being protected.

'undyne aint always like that, ya know. shes just worried'

'I know, and its okay. I can understand her worries, so its alright'

There was another moment of silence, and you didnt really feel like kissing or just in general being extremely close right now.

'i can see why she doesnt trust me, hell, i wouldnt either if i knew she nearly let a close friend like that die after watching them be tortured for so long... i just. i dont see how _you_   can remotevly trust me enough to be like this. you havnt even yelled at me yet'

Suddenly you sat up and looked at him.

'What? Why? Did anybody yell at you?'

He chuckeled as he saw your expression.

'sheesh, you look like your ready to rip someone head off... no, surprisingly not. id... expect you to, but you didnt. and you still dont. why? how?'

You relaxed again and sat down.

'Sans, its part of my Soul Trait. Ive been listening to Alphys a lot, and I know by now that mine is patience... And the trait includes forgiveness. Im patient with everybody, especially you, Sans. Its alright if you make mistakes, I can forgive them. Its okay if you take your time to forgive yourself, I can wait. Its part of who I am'

'yeah... you know... monsters somewhat have traits too?'

'Yeah, I know. Their just faint colors. Yours is Patience, Toriel is Kindness, Papyrus is Bravory, Frisk is Determination and so on. Where are you going with this?'

'yeah, and we have the same soul traits. and i still dont understand how the hell you can forgive me. i know i wouldnt'

'You forgave me for what I did, didnt you?'

'but you were forced to do what you did. it wasnt your fault'

'What if it wasnt?'

'what?'

You took a deep breath before looking firmly at his two glowing pupils.

'Just imagine I wasnt forced to do what I did. I was, but thats not the point right now. Would you have forgiven me?'

He took a few breaths and began looking away before giving somewhat of an answer.

'but you were, right?'

'Yes, I was forced to, but imagine I wasnt'

'why?'

You gave a slightly annoyed groan at him.

'Sans, Im saying _imagine_ '

'yeah but why?'

'Would you forgive me if I would do mistakes as big as yours now? What if it had been me in your place, would you have forgiven me?'

'well... that really depends on different stuff, actually. but i guess... look, can we talk about something else?'

You gave up trying to persue him and leaned back into the couch.

'I guess'

'hey, about that beach visit. can you swim?'

'WHat?! Of course I can swim! Sans, my Magic is ice and water related, Im pretty sure that has more of a reason than just me being patience! You just watch'

'oh really? did you knw skeletons can swim too?'

'Well, ye- Wait. How the hell is that even supposed to work? You should sink like a damn rock unless you move your legs or arms or whatever like a fuckin' engine'

You both began snorting and then laughing at the mental image, easing the atmosphere significantly. Quite coincidentally, you catch a glimpse of his phone on the table. 

'Hey, Sans?'

'yeah sweetheart?'

'Okay, ignoring the fifth petname, do you still have that picture that Frisk took for you?'

He chuckeled a bit, blushing somewhat as he reached for his phone and unlocked it. He had quite the number password on it that started with 58 and ended with something like 109, but that was all you could catch. Definitly about 12 positions.

'yeah, i guess. that was actually... really embarressing at the time...'

'Can I see it?'

'sure, i guess'

He swished over his phone a few times until he found the picture in his gallery. Unsurprisingly, it was in a seperate folder, and you blushed a bit at the thought of sans sitting there among all of those  glued back together drawings and creating a special folder for pictures of you. He was so sweet.

You leaned over to look at it and you saw him blush a bit from the corner of your sight. You looked quite peaceful, with your head rested against the wall and your legs tucked to you. You snorted when you saw that the picture was titled 'Angel'.

'Pfft. Why would you title it like that? Pretty sure Im the opposite of an Angel!'

You cold see his fingers nervously fiddle for a moment as he put his phone away. 

'uhhh... w-well, uh, i um. er, yeah, i...'

You laughed, seeing him so flustered about your question. You had completely forgotten the tension from earlier and found him quite cute in his current state, so you laughed and planted a kiss on his cheek, getting him even more flustered. You had tounge kissed a few times and you both still blushed every time you really touched.

You snuggled into him a bit more, feeling comfortable in your position now, and he gave a sigh before just tightening his grip a bit and then falling silent. 

 

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

In the morning, when you were just making breakfast with Mom, to your great surprise, you saw Undyne step in. You turned to her and smiled, looking up from the eggs in the frying pan while Toriel was looking after the delicous bacon.

'Morning Undyne. Your up pretty early... Is something up?'

Undyne avoided your gaze and went to absentmindedly comb through her red hair behind her head with one of her hands while sweating a bit, nervous.

'Mornin... I uh. Just wanted to say that Im kinda sorry for my outburst last night... That was pretty stupid. You were right. I was just getting ahead of myself. Ive been friends with Sans ever since what, We're on the surface? So yeah. Sorry...'

She was clearly quite embarressed and you just gave a soft laugh at her expression.

'Its okay, Undyne! Everybody has those rage moments. No need to apologize, really! Now. Can you go get the others? Me and mom are about to serve breakfast. And then we can all talk about it together, okay?'

'Okay. Ill go get Alphys! Thanks, (y/n)!'

You laughed at her enthusiasm as her huge grin went right back onto her face.

'Its okay!'

You called to her as she rushed off to wake up her Girlfriend. Toriel gave you a warm smile as you helped her set everything up and your monster friends and family slowly began gathering for their first meal of the day. 

You sat in your usual spot, which was actually right beside sans on the couch. You had simply gotten used to it over time, and nobody seemed to notice anything, so you were quite grateful for that. Everybody gave their sleepy 'good morning's and then sat down to eat. It was rather quiet, so you had to actually speak into the silence to mention it.

'I uh. About um, yesterday...  Did Undyne talk with any of you or...?'

Toriel put her fork down and took over, giving you a smile.

'Yes, and she has now openly had a change of heart, so everything is alright. There is no need to take such measures. Now, Alphys, is there anything new from the police department?'

'O-Oh! Y-yes, actually! Turns out it was a quite small group doing this, and only two of them got away. B-But their probably going to be caught within about a week, and I-I dont think they will be able to form a new group anytime soon! So its all g-good news!'

'That is wonderful! Now we can be sure that our relaxation visit to the beach will go smoothly!'

There were sounds of agreement from your friends and you smiled at the thought of having dealt with the threat so quickly and now being able to take a day off from everything. Everybody started talking a bit more after the good news, and you were glad that the atmosphere was well again.

You could all look forward to enjoying your peace and quiet once more.

 

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

You let out a satisfied sigh as you threw your bag into the trunk of the familiar red car and then shut it tight after counting all the bags. Seating yourself at the back, you smiled at Frisk and sans who were already there. Toriel and Papyrus were also going to be in the car with you, with Toriel driving. Undyne had rented another car where she, Asgore and Alphys would follow yours to the beach. (Frisk had suggested to leave Flowey home, and everybody agreed)

You had your seatbelt in and were just waiting for everybody to close the doors so Toriel could start the car. You automatically turned towards the window and stared outside as the vehicle began moving, slowly pulling away from home. Home... still had a strange ring to it...

You spent the trip mostly smiling out into the sky and the sun, which was mercilessly beaming down through the thin layer of clouds that should pass quite soon judging by the weather report. The others were talking, and you listened from time to time, but were mostly sunken into your own thoughts. 

Before you were really there, you could already start hearing the waves of the sea smashing into sand and rock rythmically. Closing your eyes, you thought of every single thing you had remembered about the sea. Its surface, the way how the waves would drag and push everything around, how they would mercilessly splash anyone unfortunate enough to be in their path. You sighed and smiled as you opened your eyes again. You couldnt wait to see the sea again.

The beach was huge, or at least it seemed so for you as you drove past the monsters and humans already there to find a place for the two cars. The sea was just as you remembered it, and you focused all of your senses on it to take in its powerful, calm and beautiful appearance. After you parked, you helped Toriel get all of the bags out, and then Undyne helped carry them. You were beginning to feel hot in your typical hoodie, but you would rather die from dehydration or burn alive than take it off.

You already had your swimsuit on you beneath your clothes so you would only have to really 'dress' once. You had gotten two big blue towels, and you couldnt wait to finally dive into the deep, cool water and feel the entire sea around your body, see the waves splash against you and realize just how powerful this force of nature really was. God you loved the sea.

There was still plenty of space on the beach, so you settled not too far from the water under a tree. You'd have to move your blankets every hour or so because the shadows you had claimed would move, but that wasnt much of a problem since you only used the blankets to sit and talk.

You were beginning to wonder how, for example, sans or Papyrus would swim since they were skeletons, but just dismissed it as 'Magic'. And even if it wasnt, you would find out soon enough. Undyne was the quickest to be done and was waiting eagerly for the rest. You were holding a towel for Toriel, and by the time she was done, almost everybody was.

Only Sans didnt seem very interested in swimming, and you decided to simply go in later as well and sit and chat with him. As much as you loved to swim, you knew the water would be cold to the touch and youd rather warm up a bit more on the shore before cooling off. Maybe you could find something out about how in hell skeletons can swim and dont sink to the bottom like rocks.

You laughed a bit at the image in your head and then sat down beside the skeleton who was leaning lazily against the tree.

'Hey, Lazybones. Arent you going to swim?'

'nah. papyrus still made me wear and bring my stuff though, so i guess if i wanted to, i could swim later. not really in the mood to, though'

'Why not? Is little sansy bad at swimming because hes a skeleton and will sink like a rock and thus needs his swimming ring?'

He looked at you with a face that was trying to be mad, but simply couldnt. 

'hey. id probably be better at swimming than you even if i were a rock'

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh no he didnt.

  
You took a sharp breath in and looked at him firmly. He had a mischevious grin on his face, well aware how you took challenges and how important your pride was to you. You stemmed your hands against your hips and looked at him with a smile.

'You know what? I meant to ask you how skeletons swim, but right now, I dont really care that much anymore'

Toriel was just coming towards you, soaking wet and tired looking with Frisk in her arms, but also happy. You jumped up and took your hoodie off, revealing your swimsuit. You made just as quick process with your leggings and then looked at sans.

'You coming or too scared that Ill steal the spotlight?'

'ohhh we'll see about the spotlight'

He said, taking his own hoodie and t-shirt off and following you over the hot sand into the water. You werent looking back at him for obvious reasons. (Cough cough you didnt want to blush seeing him like this cough) You were tiptoing at first, but then felt this huge urge in your soul pressing you on. You could see everything clearer and a bit darker all of a sudden, your magic activated by Determination leaping forward in your soul and powering your steps.

You began walking over the hot sand, ignoring the sensation, then running. Water just seemed like the best thing to be in right now, and you gave a squeal as you jumped and then dove in, surfacing a good few meters away from the sandy beach. For a second, you closed your eyes and took in the feeling of being in the water before you turned your head to see sans still finding it too cold to go in. 

Oh, and the turning was a huge mistake, too.

You quickly turned your head back around and went on to dive deep and far once more, trying to forget your blushing and that monster skeleton's ribcage. You sometimes really wonder whats wrong with you to like a magical talking punmaking skeleton monster and then also be turned on by seeing him without a t-shirt.

Resurfacing once more and easily opening your eyes again you didnt look back for a while as you just decided to get a head start and headed for Asgore and Undyne in the water not too far away. You decided to swim normally, waiting for sans to catch up.

And boy did he catch up.

You heard the splashing behind you and got a glance at him going full speed. Seeing him like that got your adrenaline up immedietly and you began using the fastest tecnique you knew, using both your outstretched arms and paddeling your legs like you were mad. You were not going to loose this.

You heard some laughing from Undyne, but more power came up and you were heading all out to reach the monsters. You were a good bodylength ahead of sans now, and you stopped triumphally about a few inches before you hit undyne. Looking back, you saw that sans was now merrily swimming, having given up the race. 

You grinned from ear to ear proudly, panting a bit from using all your strength at once. Undyne gave you a pat on the back and Asgore laughed as you raised your head just a tad bit higher when sans stopped infront of you.

'What were you saying, Lazybones? Something about swimming like a rock or...?'

'you got a head start! thats not fair'

'Ok now you really sound like you need your swimming rings. Should I get those for you? Are you sure you don- HEY!'

You couldnt finish your sentence as you felt water being splashed all over your face. Just as he was about to splash you once more, you quickly dove under, wriggeling through the water and succesfully surfacing behind him to splash water all over his skull.

'Ha! Thats what you get for being jelous!'

You laughed as he turned around, confused, just to get even more water all over him. When he tried to get his little revenge, however, you quickly dove under, letting your Intiution guide you into your wanted direction. You went behind Undyne, hoping that he would make the mistake of splashing her.

Sadly, he didnt though, and just swam towards you with his palms up.

'peace! i surrender!'

You laughed and decided to spare him.

'Okay, okay. Now. How the hell are you staying afloat right now, huh? Shouldnt you be like, sinking like a damn rock?'

He chuckeled and swam about a meter away, and to your surprise, where his lungs should be, there was a moving mass of air getting smaller and bigger in regular intervalls. He was actually breathing. With apparently only one sort of lunge, but breathing.

'Wha... But why is there only one... uh, lunge? Is that what it even is? And what about the fact that you have a bone structure and dont have as much area that would be able to push you forward?'

'well, i also dont have as much weight as a normal human that could pull me down. also, im pretty sure my bones also have thin, long air pockets in them, making them both stronger and lighter. or at least alphys said so'

He shrugged. Undyne turned towards you and began to continue.

'Alphys told me alot about mosters and swimming before we went! She was looking this stuff up all week! But there is also really interesting stuff thats normal for all monsters and basicly general knowledge... So, for example, our magic prevents us from going too far out into the sea!'

'Really? How?'

'After a certain depth is underneath a monsters feet, our magic automatically puts pressure on us that pushes us back to the shore! It always depends on the monster and how far they can go. I CAN GO THE SECOND FURTHEST! Yeah!'

She brimmed proudly and you smiled at her, not wanting to ask about who could go the furthest.

'Humans dont have that'

You said casually. They probably already knew this from Frisk.

'THEY DONT? Then how the hell do humans know how far they can go?'

'Oh. They just, have to think about that before they start wildly paddeling towards deep waters'

Asgore actually spoke up despite having been quiet most of the time. His voice was somewhat concerned.

'Do... Do some humans get lost that way?'

'Oh, plenty. Natural selection, I guess. I mean, if your stupid enough to go out so far that you know you wont be able to get back, well excuse me that angels dont just fly around and save the brainless'

There was a snort from sans and you just smiled, shrugging, while Undyne and Asgore looked quite a bit disturbed by your statements. You rolled your eyes and sighed.

'Dont worry, its only like, 5 a year or so. Not much compared to how overpopulated everything is'

They seemed to be a bit calmer and you decided to ask a few questions from before.

'So, Undyne, how far CAN you go? Im assuming more than this?'

'What? OF COURSE! I can go up to... uh... I think that big red thing over there in the water!'

'Thats a buoy...'

'YEAH! Whatever! I think Id make it til there! Hey, why is that thing there, anyways?'

'Its both a sign for ships that the water is too shallow for them, and for swimmers to not go further than that'

'But... Arent those like, about a dozen humans past it up to really far in the distance?'

'Yeah, I guess. Better be real good swimmers though, because people aint gonna risk their lives like that to willingly to save the empty heads! As soon as someone goes past that mark, their all on their own. They get hurt? Their fault. They drown? Their fault. No Insurance and no 'responsabilities' of the beach owners could save them then'

Your three monster friends shuddered as they looked out to the water, seeing the distant, tiny heads of people doing all sorts of shenanigans in the water far too deep to be safe. You just looked out casually. It wasnt anything out of the ordinary for people to be past the mark, and if you were honest, you wouldnt really hesitate to go past it either.

You felt a twinge of excitement in your stomach. Ohhh great, what a PERFECT and ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICANT moment (-.-) to feel restless and anticipated.

But you still grinned and then cast another look to Undyne before turning and calling out to her.

'HEY UNDYNE! Race you to the buoy, looser gets to look after the blankets!'

'What? HEY! NO FAIR!'

Aaand you were off. You heard Undyne follow you soon after, and the rythmic and loud splashes were telling you she would not be an easy contestant. But you still kept getting your power out of your soul. You werent using magic, just using your willpower to go all out. And the water around you and the feeling of being in it sure seemed to be helping your soul be strong.

You still could hear her slowly catching up though, and you were doing your best not to panic. You were going to win this. Your mind was probably just tricking you into thinking she was coming closer.

Except it wasnt, and soon you could see her right beside you. You were trying to go faster, but it just wasnt working. She was pulling ahead. 

Just when you thought that you probably had no chance to win, she suddenly became significantly slower, just a few metres before the mark. You couldnt help but grin when you realized that she had overestimated her own abilities.

Easy win for you. 

 


	9. Daring Future

With a cry of victory, you reached the mark and stopped, seeing Undyne just a few metres back.

'HEY! Thats... huff... No fair! ugh... my magic is... GODDAMMIT!'

You laughed at her outburst as she accepted her fate and stayed where she was. You swam over to her and were about to drop a comment when sans cut in.

'hey, (y/n), have you ever been past the mark? or like, how far would you think you could go and still come back?'

You shrugged.

'Im usualy always past the mark, and it was much further than this last time I was here. I think I could go about as far as... that first island over there? The big rock stickin out, you see it?'

He blinked a few times and then grinned.

'pff, thats a joke, right? not even any of those 'empty heads' are that far'

'Nope. Been there a few times. There is a really pretty coral there, actually, and lots of fish as well. Thier really small, but silver, and really pretty as well. Especially when the sun is shining'

You looked back and noticed Asgore still in his usual spot, waiting for Toriel and Frisk to come over. He couldnt go further, apparently, and sans was the other monster still there with you and undyne. And wasnt Undyne the one monster who could go the second furthest?

'Oh my god. Sans, you can swim the furthest?'

He just shrugged as Undyne gave him a somewhat killing look, her pride probably not in the best state at the moment.

There were a few moments of comfortable silence as you all just looked out to the horizon until an idea of how to get rid of all of that restlessness came to your mind.

'Hey Sans, how far _can_   you swim?'

He didnt answer at first, just pretended he didnt hear, but eventually had to say _something_.

'(y/n), what are you trying to do?'

'What? Im not trying to do anything! Im just curious!'

'yeah right...'

'Oh come on, sans. Just show me how far, thats it'

'isnt there like, a safety reason why the buoy is where it is?'

'Pfft. Who cares? I want to see how far you can go!'

He sighed, tired.

'i am definitly not going further than this, and neither are you'

'Im going to go past the buoy later anyway. The best waters arent without danger, after all!'

Your smile faltered as you saw your friends confused and strange looks. You sighed.

'Look. Humans tend to push themselves to their limits, okay? Dont come if you dont want to, but I want to swim in real waters'

You turned and wanted to go swim further in until something harshly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.

'Ah! Hey! What was that for!'

'your not going there. its dangerous'

You laughed lightly.

'What do you think can happen, the big bad fish monster will swallow me from below? Dont be ridiculous, sans. This mark is barely there to just keep little children from stupidly drowning themselves. The waters are safe for another 1 km radius, and no challenge for a good swimmer'

'but you... ugh. i still dont like this idea. undyne?'

'Yeah... listen punk. As much as I like a challenge myself, this is dangerous, an-'

You rolled your eyes as you freed yourself from sans grip with ease from years of training and practise and then began going past the mark. You were going to prove to them that it was everything but dangerous. Exciting maybe, but not dangerous. That was just stupid.

After a moment, you heard splashing behind you, and when you stopped a few meters away from the mark, you saw sans right beside you.

'Aww, wasnt sansy scared of the big bad monster past the mark?'

'ugh... im not scared. im just wary and concious of the fact that if we die here, nobody is going to cover for it'

'Eh, we wont die. If we're careful'

You added the end with a smile, feeling the excitement in your chest as you began swimming further out. Sans followed suit and you swam there for a while before hearing a few shouts from the back.

Turning around, you saw Undyne standing there with Asgore, who had come a bit closer. They were waving their arms and probably telling you to get back, but you just laughed, shook your head and continued on.

You used the moment to look inside sans' soul just a bit, and found with a grin that he felt the excitement as well. This wanting to do something dangerous and daring as he followed you without hesitation. And he still had his magic protecting him, after all.

You knew that the water was getting deeper and deeper, and you looked back to see the others clearly mad at you and sans not even breaking in sweat. He must have CRAZY magic to be able to go so much further than the captain of the royal guard herself!

You stopped and he followed suit, looking at you.

'Hey sans... If you can go this far, then... like, seriously, how much magic do you HAVE?'

He just shrugged, but was clearly proud as his grin widened  and he layed back in the water calmly.

'enough to swim across this entire ocean, why?'

You couldnt help but have your mouth fall open, then starting to smile brightly and mischeviously.

'Sooo... Would you make it to the small island?'

'yep. you wouldnt though'

'Oh you just watch me'

You turned and you both merrily began swimming further and further, the water becoming darker beneath you and the waves growing more viscious. You had to use more of your strength to go against the current now, but the pulling of the ocean was sure helping.

You werent racing, just normally swimming, saving your energy to later use it to get back. The small rock island wasnt too far away anymore, and you were about to pass the furthest human group.

You kept swimming, pouring willpower and strength into your limbs, pushing forward and remembering that you could rest once at the island. You finally reached the oddly shaped rock sticking out of the water and clung to it, catching your breath.

Sans was there as well, sweating. The water was much cleaner and as he held on to the rock beside you, you could see him basicly topless. You tried to hide your blush, but your magic told you sans hadnt hesitated to glance inside your soul.

'heheh. like what you see, sweety?'

'Oh my god, Sans! They can see us right now!'

'pfft, this is way too far for them to make out anything but a white colored blur and a single human head. in other words, they cant see shit'

You both broke out laughing at sans' wording and your embarressment somewhat eased, even though not entirely gone. The feeling of being alone with him in such a radius was making you feel happy and free, seeing all the empty space and how you were the furthest. You could make out your friends mostly back at the beach, resting and looking at the two of you.

You smiled and began climbing the rock, putting your hands and feet in just the right places until you were on top of a relatively okay edge. It was on the side facing away from the beach and only let them see your head from the back.

Sans came not too long after, findging enough space on your ledge. You doubted your friends could really see anything anymore, even though it should be painfully obvious to them that you werent just sitting and chatting away like normal best friends.

Just as he was seated, you suddenly felt his hands grab your sides and you squealed a bit in surprise as he seated you on his lap. Your bodies were extremely close and you began blushing a lot, being both a bit embarressed and extremely worried wether you could be seen. You knew that most likely, no, you couldnt, but you still felt the thrill of being so close to being caught. One wrong position and you were like on a stage with spotlights all on you.

Despite him being a bit taller than you, the mass behind him was covering you both fully, so it probably just seemed like you dissapeared to your friends. Sans had his hands around your stomach and you were giddly because of the lack of usual clothes seperating you two. Sure, he still has his swimming things and you had yours, but it was much less than usual, making you extremely sensitive.

You shivered as you felt his hands go from your stomach and slowly start trailing along your arms, his sort of lips kissing your head. You felt extremely safe and protected despite being so far out in the ocean while relying fully on your own strength to get you back to shore safely.

You decided to go in a sort of cuddeling position and just enjoy the closeness as you stared out to the horizon. The sun was still high up in the sky and would be for quite some time. You let your own hands rest on top of his after he let his rest on your stomach once more. The feeling of having his bare hands on your bare stomach was sending shivers down your spine and your soul was trying its best to remember as much of the feeling as possible.

You sighed happily and closed your eyes letting your thoughts focus on the sensation of having him close, trying to remember the feeling of his solid, warm hands on your bare skin.

'Hm... Sans?'

'yeah, sweety?'

'Pfft, another name... Can we just keep cuddeling like this?'

'sure. as long as the others dont think we got eaten'

You gave a rather unattractive snort and sat up a bit more.

'You just know exactly how to ruin the moment, dont you?'

'hey, i thought i was the one making the moment in the first place!'

'Heh... Alright, true'

You decided to leave things at that as you snuggled back into his embrace. You were just going to let yourself relax for once, only for today.   
  
  


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You blinked your eyes open, focusing on getting your foggy mind clear. Slowly starting to move, you quickly realized you were still on that one rock with sans, sitting on his lap. You rubbed your eyes as you felt him move a bit under you and you couldnt help but stare at the sun slowly approaching the horizon, only marked by the sea. Wait, how much time had passed?

'Sans...? I... I fell asleep, didnt I? How much time passed?'

'dunno, two hours maybe? hey, by the way. you... look cute when you fall asleep in my arms like that'

You gave a small giggle and began to move off him, dipping one of your toes in the water to feel that it was quite warm. Perfect to swim back in.

'Oh you... Alright, I think we better head back, or their going to be sending helicopters after us because they may be thinking we drowned back here. The water is really warm, too'

He gave a little chuckle and slid into the water with you. You still had to blush a bit as you saw him topless, and it earned you a small laugh and nudge from him, but you just ignored him and began to merrily swim back, him not too far back.

You could see all of your family and friends sitting under the tree, the blankets having been moved a few meters to the right and back, probably to follow the shadow that was now nearly the same shade as the ground lit by the sun.

You were swimming at a normal pace, and as you were further than halfway, sans came up beside you only to suddenly splash a huge wave of water over your head.

'HEY! What was that for?'

'nuthin, just revenge for before'

'Oh my god you come here right now...!'

He turned and began swimming away as you raced after him, catching up to him and giving him a shove down by his shoulders, dipping his head underwater for a moment.

'Tag, your it!'

You yelled as you swam away as fast as possible, hearing him chase after you. You both laughed as you chased one another, slowly coming closer to the shore, but not going directly for it.  
  
  


Undyne sighed as she looked at the two figures in the water circeling one another, her arms crossed and her face conflicted.

'Come on. They cant expect us to believe their really just being platonic all this time, right?'

Toriel looked up from her sewing and sighed as well as she watched you two splashing in the water.

'I know. But... I do not think Id have the heart to get them both to debond their souls, or even tone it down. Its just... (y/n) is so... happy. I rarely ever see her laugh like that, to be honest'

'So... are we just going to leave them like this? Like, they'll start making out behind our backs soon if they havnt already if this keeps up'

'I... Let us just leave them like this. They will figure something out... hopefully. We will just hope for them to make the right decision. Besides, who knows? Maybe the rules will change soon'

Toriel was trying to sound hopeful, but she clearly wasnt in a brilliant mood herself thinking about the situation. But she simply couldnt tear you two apart, she would never forgive herself if she did.  
  
  
  
  


You were much closer to the shore now, and sans had just been able to 'tag' you, so you were using your last strength to catch up to him before he reached the shore. You were NOT loosing this no matter what. You could feel the water rushing around you as you came closer and closer to him. Just a few inches more, come on...

Just before you were close enough to do anything, he suddenly stood up and rushed out to sit on the shore, throwing his hands in the air triumphaly.

'welp, looks like i won by a mile!'

'Yeah right. I was one inch away from half drowning you, so dont go around bragging just yet. Ill call it a tie'

'a tie, seriously? i was clearly here first and your still it'

You just shrugged and sat down next to him, keeping a respective distance to not give your friends the wrong idea. You were pretty sure it must be obvious that you and sans were at least a bit more than just really good friends, even though nobody was going to admit it out loud. And it was fine as long as things stayed the way they were.  
  
  
  
  


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It was morning, and you were just serving breakfast to all of your family and friends, having already gathered them all around the table. Just as you put the last plates down, you sat down yourself and dug in, seeing the others having already started eating. It was an ordinary morning, about a week after the trip to the beach. There had been one more threat yesterday, but otherwise, everything had stayed relatively calm and it was easy to brush it off after how quickly the first one was dealed with. Your friends even managed to pull you out for a few walks, but you still preferred to stay home and either draw or browse the internet on Toriel's Laptop - she had allowed you to use it a few days back and now you couldnt get enough of reading documentaries and tipps on just about everything and anything, especially if it was something about monsters or magic.

You and sans had both agreed to only connect souls in any way if it was neccessary, because it had become quite annoying to you if he could just look inside of you like that. It had been sweet at first since he knew what you were thinking, but you wanted to mostly keep your thoughts to yourself. You had felt a bit quilty when you told him, but he had understood completely and you had been very thankful for that.

It was mainly quiet while everyone ate, until Alphys decided to speak up.

'U-um, dont know if its a very good m-moment and its not anything really important, its just, uhhh...'

'CMON ALPH! Spit it out!'

Undyne gave her girlfriend a confident smile and the encouragement made the lizard monster sit up a bit straighter and smile a bit more.

'W-well, I just wanted to say that I installed some cameras in the hallways yesterday, and uhh...'

You and sans flashed each other a look and then connected your souls for a moment.

~Um, crap~

-Lets hear her out first-

'B-but, well, I didnt switch them on yet b-because, I wanted to warn you all first in case, well... I would just suggest, uhhh dressing in your rooms and all and I didnt want to record something you didnt know I recorded. A-also, (y/n)?'

'Uh, yeah?'

'I-I would suggest you need your own room by now... O-oh! And I started working on a phone for you since your so good with the Laptop! Just, make sure to be In toriel's room or maybe in your own little room soon!'

Alphys was clearly a bit embarressed by what she was hinting at, but you were relieved she had warned you about this.

'Oh, thanks for uh, the phone thing. Id probably need one one day anyways. And I dont know, dont you guys have enough to do without having to worry about me having my own room?'

'PAH! NONSENSE! We would love to build you a room, dude! Would you want one upstairs or on the ground?'

'Undyne is right, my child! We would love to make you your own room! You could have just asked us. And it would actually be rather stress relieving if anything'

'W-we built the whole house, s-so, uh, another room shouldnt be a problem!'

You smiled at them, joy filling your heart at just how sweet they all were.

'Well, its probably impossible to get my preferred way, so I guess uh, the ground is fine'

'Y-your preferred way?'

'Yeah... Id love a basement room, but I dont think that will happen... Youd have to move the whole house and make a new foundation and then move it back, but thats impossible. So the ground is fine, especially since I can then have a nice outlook outside. I like being able to know whats going on on the ground'

You smiled at her with a spark of confidence, hoping she wouldnt feel bad for not being able to build you the room youd always wanted. You were just way too used to dark small spaces, so a change from that would probably be best anyways.

'W-well, we can start tomorrow, then! I-I have a few meetings scheduled t-today, so we will have to start tomorrow since I have to make measurements and all that'

'Thats alright! Ive never got anything planned, so its fine'

You shrugged a bit nervously and then continued eating, hoping to get out of the slightly akward situation. Thankfully, everybody started eating again so everything was alright. You were extremely glad that Alphys hadnt recorded anything of last night - you were still a bit embaressed thinking about it.

You hadnt really dont anything special, but by now your usual routine was already embaressing enough. You did this about every second day, and the times where you didnt, you went to sleep feeling weirdly empty and cold. You were just contemplating how the hell you were going to be around him every night now that the cameras were there. Sure, it was really good luck that Alphys hadnt got you two on tape, but how were you going to do this in the future?

~hey sugar, whatcha thinkin about?~

-Sans...!-

~What? Whats wrong with callin ya sugar?~

-... You are definitly holding onto that name, huh-

~yup. so whats the matter? you seem worried~

-Well, I was thinking about the cameras, actually. How are we... um. Going to do our thing?-

~oh your thinking about where we're going to be making out today?~

You cast him a killing look to your side and then continued eating, hiding your blush.

~heh, come on, you know im just messing with ya. well, we can always just use my room?~

-Your room?-

~what, too much privacy?~

-Psht, no! I just havnt been in your room a whole lot!-

You knew that he was partly right. It would be... closed off. You didnt have a reason not to trust him, it would just be a bit akward. But if it was that or nothing, you would take it.

You two shared a short, knowing look with one another and then both went back to your own thoughts as you finished and then started cleaning up the plates and washing the dishes.   
  
  
  
  


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Sans watched you walk into the kitchen, and as he added, quite gracefully, admiring how you took your steps with seemingly so much confidence while being frozen and hollow in the deepest depths of your soul and eyes... His gaze flickered away and he focused on the kid instead. Frisk was helping Toriel and you carry the dirty dishes into the kitchen.

Just as they were headed to the table to grab another plate, sans moved over and put his hand on their shoulder. Frisk stopped what they were doing and looked up to sans, who flickered his two white pupils into black for a moment. It was their secret sign for 'We have to talk about stuff the others dont know'.

Frisk nodded eagerly and put the plate back down to follow sans. He was going to his room as usual. They hadnt needed any of those talks for a while now, so Frisk was quite curious as to what sans could possibly want to talk about, or wether it had anything to do with the recent new threat.

With a clack, the door to the room shut behind the two and sans sat down on the only chair in the room. Frisk leaned against the wall not too far away, watching sans and waiting for him to speak up. It took him a moment, but eventually he focused his gaze on the kid and began to talk.

'frisk, pal... you... you know, we've all come really far this time'

Frisk gave an audible gulp and then slowly nodded, additionally intimidated by his gaze.

'not like... _last time_ '

Frisk flinched a bit and looked to the ground. They had some mistakes to pay up for, and for more than just one timeline. They never thought about hurting anyone ever again like in the first one, but resetting right at the surface in the second one was just as bad.

'frisk, listen. you... you probably already noticed how important this one is for me. and things arent going perfect right now with whats going on, but... _listen_ '

The young child jerked their head up to look at their old friend and slowly nodded again.

'...if you ruin this one for me no matter for what reason... _i wont give you another chance_. you got that? mess this one up and dont even bother coming back at all'

Frisk shuddered at his tone, it was like he could freeze hell over with the kind of cold that swung with it. Suddenly, there was a magic aura of sorts for a moment and then sans stood infront of frisk. They squealed a bit as the skeleton looked down at them, atypically scary looking.

The child covered their mouth with their hands to prevent any more noises from coming out as suddenly they were lifted by the collar. They were looking up in fear at the usually friendly and laid back skeleton, but the young one knew that he could, too, fight.

The monster froze in his threatening position for a few moments, magic radiating through the room as Frisk hung in the air, terrified, frozen in fear, trying to not make a sound.

Suddenly sans loosened his grip significantly and Frisk dropped to the ground clumsily as the skeleton turned towards the wall, and then, without looking at them or turning around, opened the door with his magic and gestured for Frisk to leave.

'glad we had this talk'

Frisk shuddered and then quickly jumped up to get out of his room. When had he learned to be so... cold?  
  
  
  
  


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You were humming a made up melody of yours while washing the dishes with Toriel when you heard steps from the stairs. You cast a quick look over your shoulder to see Frisk slowly walking down them. They had their head hung low and didnt look up when you gave them a casual greeting. You exchanged a look with Toriel, and she nodded, so you went to dry your hands and then walked over to Frisk who had sat down on the couch.

'Hey, Frisk, whats wrong? You seem down'

They looked up and you saw how their eyes were glazed over and filled with tears, so you offered them a reassuring hug. Frisk gladly wrapped their little arms around you and sobbed into your shoulder. What could have possibly upset them so much?

'Frisk... Are you... hurt?'

You felt them shake their head against your shoulder, and you sighed as you hugged them tighter despite being very sensitive to touch. The child needed this now and you couldnt worry about how you felt.

'Then... what happened? Do you want to talk, or well, sign about it?'

You inwardly cursed at yourself for that last part, but frisk pulled back a bit and signed out 'sans' before hugging you again.

'What? Sans? What did he do...!'

You turned around as you heard Toriel walk up closer, having finished the dishes.

'This... is not the first time Frisk has come to one of us like this. They and sans appear to share some bond or secret that we do no know about. Even after Papyrus tried to pursuade him for half an hour, they both didnt say a single word. It is best to wait until they figure it out for themselves'

She sighed and sat down on the couch as well and you gladly gave her Frisk so they could sit on her lap. Just then, you heard sans coming down the stairs. You stood up. You had something to talk to him about.

He didnt even give a look in your direction as he walked right past and to the front door.

'Sans, wait! You cant just leave!'

Despite you calling out to him, he didnt even hesitate in his movements as he grabbed one set of keys before beginning to open the door. His soul wasnt connecting to yours and shielded off, and he wasnt listening to you. You wondered wether it would be worth using your magic and instinctively lifted your palm at the thought, but you quickly let go of the idea. You could talk to him about it later.

You flinched a bit and your hand sunk as you heard him slam the door shut behind him.   
  
  
  
  


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You were sitting in the main room on the couch that already felt so familiar to you after staying here for so long and stared outside. It was already beginning to get dark, but you hadnt dared to stand up to turn on the lights. You had been waiting here for sans for over an hour, and although he would probably only come back way after nightfall like he usually did according to your friends, you still felt the urge to just sit and wait, to do absolutely nothing until he came back.

You had already played through your head what you were going to say: First and foremost, you wanted to apologize for trying to blame or accuse him before. You had been careful, but there was a good chance you had hurt his feelings anyway - you had absolutely no idea what was going on between him and Frisk, so you had no right to judge. But you just felt so... so...

Actually, you had been contemplating what you felt that moment. The way you suddenly wanted to move, to stand up, to do something... Was it hatred? Or rather... anger? When was the last time you felt anger? When had you _ever_   felt anger?

The questions were circling in your head. You remembered feeling that irrational, strong pull called anger as a young child, but it had completely grown out of you when your father started... 'taking care of you'.

You couldnt hold a light shiver as you thought of that... face, that demanding voice whoose orders you couldnt disobey no matter how hard you tried. Oh he was in for hell if you ever saw him again, he should just dare to show up in your life again... And for the second time that day, you felt this... rage. This so unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling inside your chest that you couldnt place all that well.

You tried to relax into the couch a bit more and sighed, closing your eyes and not wanting to think about those things anymore. What were you going to do until sans came back? You had to get this weight off your chest first thing, and you thought of how important a phone actually was. Feeling sleep slowly pull you down, you snapped your eyes open and continued to stare out the window, watching the last rays of the sun slowly hide behind the horizon line.

When you began actually hearing steps, they were so unexpected that you nearly jumped up from the couch. Was he really back so early?, You couldnt help but ask yourself as you heard a key turn in the lock. Why would he use the keys, or even take them with him, if he could just teleport?

You didnt move and stared at the door as it opened and sans stepped in. He was about to slam it shut behind him when he saw you on the couch and froze in his tracks. After staring back for a few seconds, he turned his head away and locked the door, putting the keys in their respective place and then leaning against the wall right beside the entrance. He seemed nervous and didnt meet your gaze.

'so, uhh...'

He didnt seem to have much to say, so you finally got your eyes off him and stood up from the couch.

'Sans, Im so sorry for before! I had and still have no idea what you and Frisk were talking about or why exactly Frisk was upset and I shouldnt have been like that I-'

He cut into your ramble with a slightly louder tone that made you automatically go quiet.

'no no no, look. i know you were just worried for the kid and that to you, it seemed like i was acting like a huge jerk for no reason. its fine, alright? i actually... came back a bit earlier from my cooling down walk to... well, say sorry myself - prolly shouldnt have just walked off like that'

'Sans, I...'

You didnt really have any words to say, so you just sighed and rubbed your eyes with your hands, feeling somewhat tired and... something else you werent willing to admit. You probably werent going to get to... what you wanted this evening anyways.

'Lets just... forget about this then, okay? I forgive you for whatever it was'

Not knowing what to say now, you looked to the side and pondered over the akward silence as he refused to look at you as well, seeming to think. After a while, he sighed and then reached his hand out. It had a faint blue glow around it and when you looked up to him, you felt his voice echo through your head quietly.

~teleportation.~

Then you nodded slowly, not questioning him, took it and as the world around you began to grow black and fall, you clung tighter to him. It was over as sudden and quick as it started, and you were feeling relatively fine after it. You looked round to find yourself in sans' room, its strange color scheme making you wonder wether it was really him who chose the colors. The two orange lamps were emitting a decent glow and coating the room in a wonderful, soft light, working together with the strange colors better than you thought they would.

After having caught your orientation and realizing where you were, you found that you were holding on to sans' arm tightly, having been startled by the sudden change of atmosphere even though you had known what had been coming. You began blushing a bit and didnt know what to do, but your feelings were overriding your worries and when he tried to pull away, you held on tighter and moved to move into a hug.

After a moment, he relaxed and hugged back, holding you tightly. But was he still... holding back a bit?

'Sans... why does it always feel like your holding back something?'

Your voice was quiet and timid as you stared at the wall, not wanting to touch upon any sore spots. He sighed and didnt say anything for a while, but eventually spoke.

'i... how do i say this, uh... there are some, well, things you dont know about... human and monster relations. they were studied a long time ago and, well... we still have that information and all... ill explain in a minute, okay? let me... show you, first'

After a few moments his hands began to move a bit and he softly pulled away, letting his palms cup your cheecks and let your head tilt up a bit to look at him. You couldnt help but stare into each others eyes and all of your fear from before vanished like smoke in the wind.

His face moved closer just a bit as if asking for permission, his hands going along your jawline and his eyes having a rather... hungry expression and you closed the distance swiftly to feel his 'lips' move onto yours, slowly opening up and deepening the kiss. You were a bit surprised as you felt his tounge have a different texture. It felt... slimier, and... was it longer?

It felt completely different and you felt your mind cloud up a bit and spin as you couldnt hold yourself and tried to kiss him deeper than before even by holding the back of his head, afraid that his tounge would go back to normal any moment. Why did it feel so... good? You hardly noticed your face burning and had to hold back a small moan before his tounge went back to how it usually was and you pulled away, taking a sharp breath in.

He seemed nervous and he looked down and to the side, not wanting to meet your gaze, putting his hands away. But you just got your hands back to yourself and then held his chin so he would look at you, staring into those two stars in all of that darkness, your breath mixing in the air as you both were panting a slight bit.

A bit hesitantly, his hands went to take your waist, your eyes not breaking contact for even a moment. You felt his touch and sank into the feeling of having his hands there, holding you and protecting you from all harm.

'I-Im going to need more of that at some point'

You couldnt help but say and you heard and felt him chuckle softly against you, and then his hands slowly went down to hang from his side again and you let go of his chin.

Sans sighed and then went to sit on his bed. You felt cold and emptyness set in for a moment and you rushed to take a seat next to him, knowing that he would now want to explain what he was talking about before... _that_... happened...

You were still wondering how in the damn world that had felt so... _good_   when he spoke up.

'look, (y/n). monster and human relations were made records of back then, and when the monsters left... they took most of those books with them. so we know a fair share about it, actually'

He made a small pause to think about how to word the next parts. He was keeping his voice quiet to not wake anyone up and you were trying your best to stop thinking about that cursed kiss from before, your mind daydreaming about doing it again already.

'human and monster souls bond in different ways. so, back when they werent a thing, it was the question of will they bond in both ways or none. turns out... both'

'So... Monster and human bonds are stronger than monster and monster or human and human?'

You werent making any great or phenominal conclusions, but you had to say something to keep your mind focused. Why did he seem so close?

'yeah, and because of that... well, they tend to... obsess over one another more, and, uh... oh my god stop looking at me like that'

You hadnt even noticed your staring and you felt your face heat up as you looked away, muttering a quiet 'sorry' and motioning for him to continue.

'its fine. a-anyways, so, how do i explain this... because the bond is a bit... tighter, physical contact when done naturally is a bit more important and also more, uhh...'

You werent sure if you had ever heard him stutter, but the way he did and how he was fiddeling with his hands at the same time was making him look quite cute. He had some blue over his cheeks and nose space and you had a mischevious little smile with the perfect plan to get him even more flustered.

'More... _pleasing?_ '

It worked. It worked pretty damn well and he tried to ignore your comment, but he was clearly pulled out of his thoughts by it as the blue color spread a significant bit.

'w-well, yeah, but if done right. i-i dunno, before i was always using my magic to imitate a human tounge because i thought my normal one would freak you out or somethin, but i guess i couldnt... h-hold myself just now'

'Freak me out? Are you serious? Sans, if I would have wanted a human tounge I would be dating a human. Legally. Also... we could have been doing it that way _all along?_ '

'i dont think that would have been a good idea because of the bonding thing... we already, or at least i already cant stand a day of us being apart and that was before what we just did. what now?'

If you were honest, it was hard to care about the future, but you were well aware it was exactly because of what he had just explained. Was he feeling the same nearly irresistable pull right now? Would he blame you or be angry with you if you just threw everything out the window right now and... gave in?

You hadnt ever... slept with anyone before and still felt quite embarressed and also a bit scared by the idea. It was something new and you were sortof afraid of dissapointing sans in some way because it was supposed to be a pretty big deal. But you did also still want more of that kiss...

'I dont know, but its... sortof hard to focus right now, because...'

You didnt want to finish your sentence fully and looked away, your thoughts still pushing you in his direction. Just one, one more kiss like that...

You heard him shift a bit in his position and then felt a slight shiver as his hand touched your upper back. You couldnt help but turn your head around to him as you shyly stared into his eyes and bit your lower lip. Now you understood why sans had considered it dangerous up until now, and what he had told you probably hadnt even been everything.

He stared back and you both slowly began moving towards one another, shifting in your positions and moving closer...

Just when your lips were about to touch, you suddenly felt him hold you back a bit and you stopped about an inch from him. Oh. It was this game all over again.

'Sans... are you teasing me?'

You couldnt help but say just to see his flustered reaction of feeling your breath on his mouth. You were trying to be mad, but while you said it, your mouth twitched into a smile and you let your hands, now on his shoulders, slowly move over to his upper spine, or, well, the part of him that functioned as his neck. It was thicker than a human spine, obviously, and seemed to work quite differently. As your right hand lightly scraped its surface, you could see him take a sharp breath in and close his eyes for a moment before focusing back on you.

You had a shiteating grin on your face and had to hold back a laugh, seeing him like this. He still wasnt giving in though, curiostiy sparking in him to see how far you would go. You slowly started moving your hand to his 'neck' again, letting your fingertips lightly move over it and he gasped quietly at the touch, his small stars of light dissapearing for a moment, leaving two black voids behind.

You were getting dangerously curious yourself and you were sure that you werent thinking straight by now, but you used the small moment of inattention to press your mouths together. He immediatly opened his mouth, your breaths deepening, letting his tounge nearly wrap around yours and you couldnt hold back a quiet moan as you both explored each other for the dozenth time while still not being tired of it.

It was the other way around, actually: The more you spend time with one another, the more you needed to be in contact. You felt excitement bundeling up in your stomach, desire and restlessness threatening to take over as you let your hands slowly touch the apparently quite sensitive spot more and more, and as you both pulled away to catch your breath, one of your hands was full on massaging it, making him let out moans himself. You found the sound absolutely mezmorising, feeling pride swell in your chest that you were able to get him like this.

You slowly let your hands slide away from it and you saw his gaze jerk up to stare into yours, one of his hands reaching out to go through your hair lovingly.

'as much as i love that, trust me i do... i dont think... this is going to benefit us much in the long run...'

You sighed and knew he was right, but couldnt muster the self control to leave his embrace just yet.

'I know, but... who knows how long this will last? I mean, well, you know how I find this, ya little soul peeker. But, with all these human threats and what we're doing not actually being allowed...'

'you only just thought of that to have an excuse to stay like this longer, even though you _are_ right... _who knows how long this will last_ '

He repeated your words in a slightly colder tone and sounding distracted and distant, and you had to wonder what other threat you didnt know about. But you knew pushing him would be a bad idea, so you just let it slide and wanted to lean in for another one of those kisses - you just couldnt describe the craving you had for that weird... texture, for his movements... and, admittedly,  sounds...

But you felt his hand move to your jawline and stop you, making you look up into his eyes. You saw how he was holding himself as well, so, not wanting to tease him, you sighed and then stood up. The wave of cold and the feeling of your soul freezing over hit you like a shockwave as soon as you stepped onto solid ground again and you began to stumble.

Sans stood up quickly and came to your side to hold you, and the cold immediatly flew away as quickly as it came, your soul beginning to feel warm and comfortable again as the seconds passed and sans hugged you from behind, your magical being slowly beginning to feel better as if the ice from before was melting.

'Th-... thanks'

You said, a bit breathless and still feeling week. You heard him curse under his breath for a moment before turning to you and helping you stand on your own.

'oh god, are you okay now? what did you feel? can you go back on your own? oh no, i shouldnt have... dammit, i should have waited until... i... im so sorry! i didnt think...'

'I-Its okay. Im just... a bit... weak. Give me... a... minute'

You were just able to pant out before closing your eyes, one of your hands around his, squeezing it tightly. You could feel how he wanted to just help by holding you with his full body, but he knew that could just make things worse. Why did you suddenly have this? What happened?

After a few minutes, you had calmed down and gathered enough strength to stand without his hand, but you still began to feel dizzy if he went further than an arms length. At least you were able to talk properly now.

'It felt like... I dunno, it felt alot like for some reason, my soul was... completely freezing over? And when you came around it just... it just began to melt and feel warm again. Is this because of the bonding thing?'

'yeah, most likely. its possible for us to be apart and all, but... it will take some time getting used to distance'

'Okay. But I still dont really get what that was, and... can it get worse, or... how does this even work?'

'okay, look. there are multiple stages to an indirect soul bond like this, and considering how your body reacted we must be on the fourth, the last one is the fifth. as soon as two have the fifth, they can bond their souls together directly and are able to stand distances and such just fine, only that then... well, their sortof bonded to one another for their whole lives? and uh, it takes some, uh, i-intemacy as well'

He was blushing that beautiful shade of blue again and you had to smile at seeing him so flustered, even though you could imagine that you were blushing yourself at his wording.

'Okay, that makes a bit more sense... Hm. I think Im fine for now, soo...'

You suddenly had a strange lump in your throat and felt like you had to say something. Something... the phrase that none of you had spoken yet but would probably be approapriate by now, and yet all you could do was look away and to the side with a red face.

'G-good night, sans'

'oh, yeah. i uh, if anythin happens, just come get me, okay?'

'Okay..'

'alright then, good night'

You gave him the best smile you could muster and then went out of his room and down the stairs to go to bed. You had already dressed in your pyjamas before because you had known it would take him some time to get back, so all you had to do was lay down and wait for more of that dreamless dark to overcome your senses and numb them so your mind could work itself out...  
  
  
  
  


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You were somewhat of a mess the next morning. You still felt a slight sting in your heart/soul and were trying to do your best to ignore it, even though you got worried looks from everybody so it should be pretty obvious that you werent feeling all that well. When they asked you wether you liked to get your soul checked you politely shook your head and said that you were just not feeling all that well. And your mood probably wasnt even soul related anyways - it was just one of those days.

Feeling lifeless, eyes tired and face in a relaxed frown, you were reading some random articles on the laptop, not focusing on anything in particulair with constant boredom and this gray feeling pulling you down as you werent able to do anything productive at all. Sans had left early in the morning before you were awake and you were glad that you wouldnt have to resist clinging on to him for now. Toriel was working on some papers in her room, so was asgore and Frisk was at school. Papyrus had gone to hang out with Mettaton, Alphys and Undyne were at their place probably also working. They had gotten more threats by E-Mail, as you found out this morning, and it didnt exactly lift your mood to know that you were putting them all in danger. Why couldnt they just let you deliver yourself to them?

You sighed deeply and rubbed your eyes to take a small break from staring at the screen for a few hours. Standing up weakly, you made your way to the kitchen, with the Intentions of just staring out the window for a while. After having watched a heart shaped cloud move to becoming an angel shaped one, with the sun just approaching the horizon and coating the clouds pink and orange and tinting the kitchen a warm color, you heard steps and turned around to see mom stepping into the kitchen. You gave her a little smile and then kept staring outside, studying the beautiful sky. And yet everything felt... gray. You could _see_   the colors, but you couldnt... _feel_   them.

'Good evening, (y/n). Youve been... awfully quiet and closed off today... are you sure you are alright?'

You sighed and closed your eyes, entering your mind and not answering right away. You heard her beginning to walk around the kitchen, obviously preparing something. Maybe she was already starting up on dinner, or making tea... tea sounded nice right now.

'Im just... tired, is all'

You knew you were lying and by the coldness in your voice, Toriel probably knew too. It wasnt that big of a mystery that you had been feeling bad today. You turned around and sat down at the small table, watching mom prepare, indeed, tea. You just stared at the edge of the kitchen counter, letting your thoughts flow through your mind randomly, everything still seeming gray.

You closed your eyes again and just thought of dissapearing into nothingness, slowly dissapating and fading away...

The sound of a cup being put right infront of you woke you from your thoughts and your eyes snapped open to stare at a freshly made cup of tea. Had you really been thinking that long? You heard Mom sit on the opposite side and you looked up to her.

'Is this... for me?'

You were a bit surprised, having thought that Toriel was just making herself some tea after dealing with stressful work. She wasnt one to grip to alcohol or anything of the sort, so her drinking tea would be an approapriate picture... thinking of pictures, you should draw her drinking steaming tea someday...

'Of course. I know that expression you have been wearing all day, so some tea before sleep is probably exactly what you need. Careful though, its still hot. Its magic tea, so you do not need any sugar'

You were about to take a small sip, but when you heard the phrase before sleep, you put the tea cup back down having realized it was way too hot to be drunken yet anyways and instead replied to your mother in law.

'Before sleep? But, its friday. What about the dinner tonight?'

'I do not think that with all of the stress that has been going around that we will be able to have that tonight. We are currently all trying to smoothen out our relations with the human police to be able to help them however we can, and it is taking up a lot of time and energy, Im sorry'

'What? No no, its alright. I was just... asking. Its... I-I dont even know why your putting so much effort into this...'

You took a small sip from your tea after your slightly muttered-to-yourself rant and felt the magic shiver down your spine, making warmth spread in your chest. It was definitly what you needed right now.

Toriel was quiet for a moment, and then stood up from her stool to squat infont of you sitting on yours. You were afraid you had said something wrong and were already cursing yourself for it when she let her huge, but gentle hand rest on your shoulder, making you look into her eyes.

'(y/n). Please, remember: We care about you, we all care about you dearly, so much more than you can imagine. Your not out of place, your not doing anything wrong and we will put as much effort into protecting you as we would into protecting any of us. Because you are part of our family. You belong here now, and whoever tries to mess with you is messing with all of us'

You were tearing up as you looked into her eyes as she told you this, and she opened her arms to hug you and then, to your surprise, lift you up. Geez, she sure was strong. No wonder she was the queen.

She shushed your crying and you clung to her as she carried you to your couch and tucked you into bed before heading to the kitchen to get you your tea. You thanked her and continued sipping the magic tea as it calmed you down and drowned out all of your confusing and negative thoughts.

'Th-thanks, mom... I-I really needed this'

You used your arm to wipe away another set of tears as you watched Toriel sit down on the other end of the couch, smiling a warm smile.

'You are very welcome, (y/n). Now, sleep well. You are always safe here'

You nodded and gave her the empty cup of tea before she flicked off the lights, put the cup into the sink and then headed for her own room. You suddenly realized that you handnt even gotten out of your pyjamas today, but the tea was doing good work in keeping you calm, so you simply closed your eyes, smiled a bit and then drifted off into a deep, peaceful slumber. Today had ended much better than it could have or you had expected it to.  
  
  
  
  


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You woke up when you felt a hand go through your hair carefully. Snapping your eyes open, you groaned, started to stretch and heard a quiet chuckle behind you. Turning around you saw sans standing there in his usual outfit. Surprisingly, the sun was already up when you cast a tired glance to the window whilst yawning, so you couldnt quite figure why he had woken you up.

'Mornin', sans'

You mumbled out anyways and let your eyes gaze at the clock which showed that it was a few minutes before your usual waking up time.

'mornin, sweety. tori is out running some errands, so she told me to wake ya for her'

You stretched again and then hopped out of bed. You were just about to start folding your blanket to put it away when sans decided to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, making you shiver lightly at the touch and filling your soul with warmth. You couldnt help but cast a glance to the black box at the corner of the room that would usually be filming, but you found that the usually green, blinking light was replaced by a constant red one. The camera had been switched off.

You let out a small sigh of relief and turned around in his loose grip to give him a small, stolen kiss, leaving him a bit breathless before you continued folding your blanket.

'You do realize switching those off is a bad idea, right? They're there for a reason, sans'

'yeah yeah, i just got a better reason for them to be switched off'

You gave another small sigh, amused by his sweetness, and began carrying the finished pack of bed sheets, blanket and pillow to Toriel's room. He let his arms fall back into his pockets so you could move and then sat down on the couch, waiting for you to put the things away and get dressed.

You were dressed fairly quickly and you came back just in time to see sans using his magic to click the camera back on. You smiled and then went for the bathroom to get your face washed, and he more or less followed.

As you stepped in, noticing a glimpse of red for some reason, you cast a glance towards the mirror, expecting to see your messy and tired looking reflection only to freeze in your movements completely. Fear began pulsing through you and you were too shocked to even take a step back as you let both your hands cover your mouth to not scream out.

There, on the mirror, there were two words written in red, messy and with the substance dripping down to the floor: Slicing Shadow. You felt tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks right after as you managed to take a shaky step back, casting glances everywhere and finally being able to breathe again as you put your hands more or less down.

'S-sans? SANS!'

You couldnt help but cry out and in .2 seconds he had teleported to your side, immedietly letting one of his arms wrap around you. He looked around and let his other hand coat the room in his brilliant blue as he reached out to see if anybody was still near, but noticing an extremely distant gray spot through the oddly opened bathroom window at the very top gave him his answer.

His shoulders dropped and he then turned his full attention to you, letting you hug him tightly before he carried you bride style out of the bathroom. This was definitly a bad sign. You were sobbing into his shoulder as he got you to the couch and was trying to calm you down. As soon as you were alright on your own, he teleported away for a brink moment to go wake his brother and asgore up and tell them to come to the living room and see what happened to the bathroom. When they were awake, they seemed pretty confused until they actually saw what happened, and their faces were nearly as shocked as yours.

This was a very, very bad sign for all of you.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Mah TUMBLR: http://queendubstep.tumblr.com/  
> Im always open for messaging and stuff. Dont have much to do throughout the day anyways!
> 
> I hope your enjoying the story!


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